Stop Beating Yourself Up…It’s A WASTE Of Time!

Stop beating yourself up.

It serves nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

We all have things about ourselves that we want to change, or don’t like so much.

However, beating yourself up in order to change actually has the opposite effect.

Beating yourself up for not being loving enough or compassionate enough like the Dalai Lama.

Beating yourself up for any reason whatsoever serves nothing and is a waste of time.

There is so much pressure and expectation from society to conform, to be a certain way, to behave in a certain manner. It can suffocate your authentic expression.

Sometimes in an effort to improve, we end up being very harsh and critical towards ourselves. We impose unrealistic expectations and pressures given by those around us. We bombard ourselves with unkind mental chatter and self talk.

Get all A’s.
Be perfect!
Never feel sad or negative.
Don’t make waves.
Be nice.

It becomes easy to be judgmental towards yourself.

Judging yourself as a way to be better will only lead to inner resistance and internal rebellion. It always backfires.

Whatever you judge about yourself you reinforce. Judgment is simply a way to perpetuate the very thing you are judging. It keeps you stuck.

Judging yourself doesn’t change the thing you are judging, it just tends to make it worse.

Anyone can be loving in an ashram. Anyone can be loving to Mother Teresa. But can you be loving to yourself?

There comes a moment when no matter how much healing or therapy you have done, how many books you have read or seminars that you have attended, you must make the bold choice to love yourself no matter what.

Loving yourself is a great act of courage. The simple yet powerful decision to love yourself no matter what is the key to your freedom.

It’s easy to love yourself when you perform, when you do it “right”, when you get all A’s, or when you are your ideal weight.

But can you love yourself even when you screw up, collapse, or fail? This is when it counts. This is the real spiritual practice.

You might find that the more kind and compassionate you are with who you are being and not being now, you actually end up getting to who you want to be much more quickly.

So commit to loving yourself even when you don’t succeed in fully loving yourself.

Can you love yourself even then?

Beating yourself up in order to get yourself to love yourself only creates more self hate.

Self hate never leads to self love. Beating yourself up in order to get yourself to improve more quickly actually slows you down.

We often think that when we heal, and become whole, we will then finally be worthy of loving ourselves. When in fact, it is the very act of loving yourself that will help you heal and feel real self worth.

When you accept yourself exactly as you are and exactly as you are not, you set yourself free.

So today can you be a bit more kind to yourself?

Healing is applying love to all the parts of you that hurt.

So stop beating yourself up and start loving yourself in this moment.

Nothing else needs to happen.

You don’t need to be any different.

You deserve it just because you ARE.




P.S. If you are ready to transform your life and ready for huge breakthroughs then check out

Kute Blackson is a speaker and life coach. Check out his website here.



  • sarah


    • The Daily Love

      We’re so happy you enjoyed Kute’s post, Sarah 🙂 -Team TDL

  • Ema Baksa

    I love every single word you write and say. Simple as that. Much love.

    • The Daily Love

      We’re so glad, Ema! Thank you for spreading the love 🙂 -Team TDL

  • Erika

    THANK YOU!!!

    • The Daily Love

      Thank YOU for reading, Erika 🙂 -Team TDL

  • Jeff

    I love to beat myself up. This message hit home big time: “Loving yourself is a great act of courage. The simple yet powerful decision to love yourself no matter what is the key to your freedom.” Beating myself up because I viewed myself so far from perfection has had me stuck for years. Thanks Kute, great article, great video.

  • Oriane

    Thanks Kute, Its good to hear this ; committing to loving yourself even if you don’t fully succeed. We sometimes think we will one day figure it out and be free from self doubt and pain instead of seeing that the best way to heal our pain and grow in self worth is to love ourselves when its the hardest thing to do. There are simple methods of self care that we sometimes overlook when we are the least loving to ourselves. like just sitting down and acknowledging how we feel and being kind and tender to the darkness inside of us. Thankyou for elevating the everyday speak of self love to something meaningful.

  • Mike

    Thanks, Kute. Your messages always hit the spot when I need it most 🙂