We’ve all experienced whatever our definition of failure might be. We’ve had high aspirations, and then, something happened unexpectedly…and what we had hoped for didn’t come to fruition. We all know what that feels like, but we also react to – what we call – “failing” in a plethora of ways.
I will speak for myself in saying that I used to beat myself up when I didn’t accomplish any of my missions. I’m on a mission every single day and I usually complete what I say I’m going to. The power of declaration and a determined mind is essentially limitless. In times when I’ve not reached my goal or not created a result I anticipated, I’ve entertained the head conversations that may sound like this:
“You’re such an idiot!”
“No one believes in you.”
“You’re a fraud.”
“You can’t do ANYTHING you want. You’re kidding yourself.”
“You aren’t good enough.”
“You aren’t fit enough.”
“You think you have it all together, but that’s BS!”
It wasn’t until I began my mastery in transformation journey that I got to realize that I wasn’t being honest with myself with those head stories. The funniest part about that is I TOTALLY thought I was right on point with all of that negative and toxic inner dialogue.
I was looking at myself through the eyes of my ego – an entity who could never be enough, no matter how hard she “tried”. I was not connected to my authentic Self – who is a loving, committed, and powerful leader. Our ego is WHAT we’ve become. Our Self is WHO we really are. It’s so easy to forget to celebrate ourselves with the constant pressure to be the best of the best – and even better than that.
We always want MORE MORE MORE of what we don’t currently have while we focus on the space between where we are now and that desired destination that will FINALLY make us happy. And until we get there, we’re not complete. Let’s say that we finally DO reach said destination, and it wasn’t what we’d thought it would be. Then what? Since we attached our measurable happiness to the perceived value of the expected experience – everything is spoiled.
When that first date with our crush wasn’t full of sparks: “What is wrong with me? What didn’t he (or she) like about me?”
Who cares if it didn’t work out? It clearly wasn’t meant to. You don’t wanna be with someone who isn’t capable of over-the-moon love anyway. Your soul mate is on his/her way, and he/she will find you when YOU are in love with YOU.
When we didn’t get the promotion at work: “I’m not doing enough. Everyone else here is better than me anyway.”
If work feels like work, and you aren’t thriving, there’s a strong chance that you aren’t where you’re meant to be. When you are following your bliss, the abundance will flow to you. If you feel unfulfilled in your work environment, work somewhere else!
When other people at our age, or younger, are more successful than we are: “Damn! Mark Zuckerberg is KILLING it right now! Why didn’t I think of Facebook, and why can’t I think of something BETTER?”
The cool thing about our peers is that they are perfect reflections of us. If we can acknowledge their success, it is something that we subconsciously can see for ourselves as well. If they are excelling in an avenue that interests us, we get to believe that we can create something of equal magnitude in a different package.
When we don’t take action and use the connections we have to make something happen: “I’m lazy and don’t wanna do the work. That, and I don’t want to bother people and ask for their support.”
The truth is, we are all meant to help each other out. How good does it feel when you can support someone in making a connection? Does it take anything away from you? No, it adds to your own awesomeness. Erin Majors says, “a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”
Every experience we have is meant to teach us something and we’re meant to grow and evolve from the lesson learned. You cannot fail. The Uni-verse won’t allow it. It just won’t. You’re amazing. You truly are.
I’m paraphrasing, but if you aim high for the moon, and miss your target, you’ll at least land amongst the brightest of stars. How cool is that? Be gentle with YOU. As soon as that negative inner dialogue starts playing, you get to turn it off by switching to better-feeling words and fully forgiving yourself.
Are you hard on yourself, or do you accept that you’re perfectly imperfect? There is no right or wrong – just support in the comments section below. I love hearing about you and what you have going on right now. Tell me what came up for you while reading my blog!
Love all that is you,
Jenna Phillips is a Total Wellness Philosopher, Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach, AFAA Certified Personal Trainer & the founder of her lifestyle brand I’m On A Mission. Follow her on Twitter and be inspired.