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Stop trying to please everyone!

To listen to the audio version of this blog, click here.

Hello from New York City!

It’s the third and final day of Marie Forleo’s RHH Live here in New York City! It’s been SUCH a blessing to be here. To speak. To share. To inspire. And to LEARN.

One of the funny things about standing out is that there are two basic rules:

1. You need a strong foundation.

2. You won’t be able to hide.

Think about that. When we SHINE, we can’t hide. When we stand tall, we can’t hide. When we stand up, we can’t hide.

And because of that, we are subject to the thoughts and opinions of others. Here’s the thing about life – it’s SUBJECTIVE.

That is to say, every single one of the six billion people on the earth have a different perspective or point of view. Six billion people, six billion opinions. And not all of them are going to match with yours.

I hear all KINDS of different opinions from folks. I hear things people love about TDL and things people hate about TDL. And many times it’s the SAME THING. Sometimes I make people mad, or don’t say something perfectly perfect and they criticize me. Sometimes I have typos.  Some people think we send too many emails, some think we send too few. Some people think we tweet too much, some people think we don’t tweet enough. Some people LOVE being called “Daily Lovers,” some people think it’s creepy.

And there’s NO WAY I could make everyone happy. It’s a kiss of death.

This is where integrity and discernment come into play. Sometimes there is GREAT feedback from the community. And sometimes there’s just someone not liking who we are. It’s my job to tell the difference.

But at the CORE of this is giving up people pleasing. I gave it up. I’m here to live a Self-Approved life and share my Self-Approved message. This isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. This isn’t about living a life just for me, but it is about living in integrity. And if I lived by other people’s opinions, I would totally lose myself.

We have to step into our power and know that other people will disagree. And our job is to send them Love anyway. We must have a strong foundation in who we are and our purpose so that nothing in the world can shake our resolve. We must make our own approval more important than the approval of the world, because only YOU can live your life.

Make it a great one!

Are you living a Self-Approved life?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

  • Aribhagat

    So true..love it <3

  • Sherice

    But at the CORE of this is giving up people pleasing. I gave it up. I’m here to live a Self-Approved life and share my Self-Approved message. This isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. This isn’t about living a life just for me, but it is about living in integrity. And if I lived by other people’s opinions, I would totally lose myself.

    Mastin = Brilliant! You really woke me up with this one – thank you! 

    I love where you said “I’m here to live a Self-Approved life and share my Self-Approved message. This isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. This isn’t about living a life just for me, but it is about living in integrity. And if I lived by other people’s opinions, I would totally lose myself.” 

    I think there’s been a part of me that’s been half-stepping because I was confusing my need to live in integrity with selfishness – I had this nagging doubt that what I felt was necessary may be partly rooted in something self-serving and the last thing I want to be is selfish.

    But you’re so right.  It’s not about selfishness – it’s necessity and I feel even more empowered to embrace it now knowing that the motivation is coming from an integral place.

  • http://butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    There are opinions and then there is the truth (one’s knowing). For instance, I KNOW my mentor, Cinnamon Lofton, is the REAL DEAL. It is not an opinion. Opinions are from our programming, mind, books, and etc. Feelings and opinions can change. OUR KNOWING is what we can stand firm on. It will not change no matter what ANYONE tells us. Yesterday I wrote a blog about alcohol. If I was serving the good opinion of others’-I wouldn’t have done it. My whisper came in-and I KNEW to do it. I KNOW I have been one of your readers Mastin who has seemed to challenge you from time to time. My intention was NOT to “criticize,” you. I hope you KNOW that. Cinnamon Lofton writes, “The fear of seeming arrogant keeps most people from expressing what they know with certainty. Hence, the watered-down language of ‘kind of,’  ‘sort of’,’ ‘maybe,’ that seems to protect the ego from rejection. Speaking and living the truth takes humility because it requires risking people’s opinions. People will have their opinions no matter what you say or do. The Good Opinion of Others= G.O.O. Experience your own humility. Give up the GOO. Live big and bright and sure.”  Your Daily Commenter, Kathleen butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/

  • Tazeenimam

    Well said! Every word.

  • tc

    Being self approved can be scary! I come from a really judgmental family, and yes, I am self approved, I march to my own drum beat and keep away from my family who only try to convince & pressure me into being like them. I know that one day, with one foot after the other, this road less travelled that I have chosen (with all it’s hill climbs & obstacles) will be well worth it in the end. Hindsight just like your blog from the other day Mastin :-)

  • Alina_C

    Mastin, thank you thank you thank you for TDL. I’m IN LOVE with this community and the amazing words of wisdom I get to read every morning. I am so grateful to even get the chance to change the world around me, and to see that others are doing it too is just so encouraging. Blessings!! -A

  • http://twitter.com/pearsonamy Amy Pearson

    Mastin, I read your stuff almost everyday. I am grateful to your for your whole heartedness. I am all about living a self approved life. This is what I teach and the example I want to be. I study something called “rejection sensitivity.” It is a tendency to look for and anticipate rejection because of past trauma having to do with rejection. I have it. Having this awareness helps. And I have the tools to work through it. But I have several family members who push my buttons because they don’t agree with my choices and my viewpoint. My biggest challenge, especially during the holidays when I see them often, is to send them love — Loving them without necessarily liking them. And this means, for me, not “buying” in to my rejection stories I know that being around them is a part of my evolution. I’m not there yet.