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Stop Waiting Till The Last Minute – Start Change Now!

Drew ParalesThere was a time, many years ago, when I was overweight. And truthfully, at first, I didn’t mind. But when I kept seeing the numbers around my waist keep going up every 6-8 months, I started to get concerned and ended up hating myself for it. It was awful. I would sit there in my house and try to “wish” the pounds away. I would sit and think about how great it would be to fit into slimmer clothes and work out without losing my breath. I would shove another donut in my mouth, knowing full well that this sweet yet evil treat was not helping in any way or form, but it was affecting my shape. Haven’t you all been there? Come on, I know you have! *grin* But the point is that I knew I had to change. I knew I had to do something that would break my cycle of poor eating and drinking habits. But instead of actually making a move to DO SOMETHING, I would just wait. As if a delicious healthy magic wand would get my fat a** up and into the gym. (Which, by the way, I was paying for and not attending.) Oh, you’ve been there too, I see… ;)

Another part to this story is that I did end up losing weight! 72 pounds. What an accomplishment, right? Well yes, in many ways. But in other ways it was gross and destructive. I waited so long KNOWING that I needed to do something about my weight that I lost many things in the process. A relationship, my job, and my house. Then I started to feel ill and very sickly because I was not treating my body well. I was in such horrible times and emotional mindsets that before I even decided it was time to actually do something about my health, I continued down the road of destruction and starting losing everything. I was subbing in a classroom, so doped up on pain pills (because I “hurt my back”) that I fell asleep sitting up, in the middle of MY OWN read-aloud to a room full of 6th graders. When one student said, “Mr. Andrew is sleepy…” I jolted up and became instantly mortified at myself. In that moment, that very DESPERATE moment, my life changed. Forever. I cried all day that day…

You see, I should have never waited ’til something that inappropriate, embarrassing, not to mention unprofessional, had to happen to me to make a change in my life and feel like there are no options. To be that low, and have so many other things coming down on my life, I had to be very desperate. I had to learn how desperation is an energy-draining emotion, and how we should CHOOSE not to wait ’til the last minute to make improvements and change in our lives for the better and for the Love of the people in our lives. I waited because I believed some great answer or solution was going to come along and make me all better, that someone else would heal me. I found myself more comfortable doing what I was doing instead of a taking a leap of action that could have saved me from all that time, self-hatred and embarrassment.

When it comes to making a decision that will make a tremendous difference in your life, learn to know that fear is supposed to be there and feel strange and make you want to stay put! Making change is supposed to feel uncomfortable. Better than feeling desperate! Waiting ’til the last minute to make change is a waste of time and lack of motion.

Desperation leads to poor decision-making. When you decide to make changes now, instead of later, isn’t it funny how there seem to be more options, yet you’re more uncomfortable and less likely to do it? Why is that? Could it be because we have lulled ourselves in SUCH a state of comfort that we don’t even realize that change must happen in order for us to succeed at anything? We somehow trick ourselves into believing that comfort is safety, but down the line we get back in to the pattern of beating ourselves up over and over and start telling stories of our great adventures to our loved ones and then sooner or later they begin to notice a pattern in you. They notice your lack of action, and are led to a level of sometimes eye-rolling familiarity with you. These patterns seem to feed off each other, instead of extending that cord into the world that we dream and talk about doing. For some of us, it’s just getting to the gym or starting a new diet lifestyle. There are harder ones, like leaving a job or relationship, or going to school and learning a new career.

I feel we sometimes stay put for so long because we DON’T want things to change for fear of loss. We can say over and over, “It’s what I know,” but what about “What could I become?” Doesn’t that sound like a more refreshing and higher vibrational statement and thought to think? The former puts us into a time loop of sorts, repeating the same hours, days, and events over and over again and repeating patterns of pain. The latter leads into to worlds of treasure, glory and a massive feeling of accomplishment and growth. I believe we have got to stop using our repetitive emotions like sadness, anger, disappointment and disgust as a reason to prove others wrong and stay in places that WE KNOW get us nowhere but the same place, over and over. Whenever you have wanted to “do something” or “change something” and you KNOW you do BUT YOU DON’T, can’t you see how that crosses the wires between your mind and body? And continuing that creates a pattern of complacency, disappointment and even denial? The good news is that the exact OPPOSITE can happen when you take the action and consistently commit to it. It’s like a formula. Makes sense to me…

So how do we figure this out? One of the best ways is to pay attention to the signs and feelings that are dropping into your life. When you feel some discomfort, that’s change. When you are offered a solution, that’s change. When we face adversity, that’s an opportunity to lovingly speak our voice, offer your opinion and stand up for ourselves… That’s change. When we “don’t want to,” and we know should, that’s change. And it all can happen sooner than later, but we have to let it! I love being able to present and teach this to my clients! Open up about what I went through. Making these huge leaps to change their lives now has birthed some AMAZING results, in so many different areas of each of their lives. And mine. Take a step, expect the fear and resistance. Know it’s coming. You’ll be ahead of the game. And your improved life: HEY it’s beautiful and it’s waiting for you to embody it! Stop waiting ’til the last minute to make change like I did. Start change NOW! Remember, not every change has to be HUGE! It can start sometimes by just taking a different route to work and see where the detour takes you…

So what parts of your life are you wanting to change? What habitual routines have you been wanting to dump? Can you, in THIS MOMENT, decide to make the change and do something you’ve been talking about for years and stick with it? What would your life look like if you committed to that plan? Can you LIBERATE yourself and start change now? Let’s talk in the comments below!

ALL my Love,

Drew

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Andrew “Drew” Parales is a Vocational Rehab Educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. Connect with Drew at:

www.iloveliberation.com

Facebook: ILOVEliberation

Twitter: @iLOVEliberation

 

  • Disco

    omg this spoke out to me THANK YOU as ive been struggling to move forward and proscratination is winning the battle but i’m determined not to let it win the war!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hey Disco!
      You are so welcome!! Thank you so much for reading, and stay determined! You get to decide where to go from here and act NOW!. You are a hero!
      Lots of Love, Drew

  • Lisa

    Awesome. I have been stuck and frozen in fear. I have waited til the last minute and I don’t know where I will be living in two weeks and I don’t have a job. I am between doing what I’ve been doing as a business and doing what comes natural to me which is being an artist. The economy hit me like a ton of bricks and rather than become resourceful, I became complacent. And here I sit, yet again, waiting until the last minute for someone to swoop in and save me.

    I’ve been seeking advice and people give it and I choose to not listen. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, I’ve been fighting learning new software and now I am behind. At 48, it’s hard to stay in the game of advertising and design when you aren’t faster than the sped of lightening and know 20 programs like the back of your hand. Time to get out. But do what?

    And I have kids and I tend to run when I am just about to make roots in a community. What is wrong with me? This is self centered fear and hatred. Help.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hello Lisa!

      Thanks so much for sharing and being so open about your situation.. You are so brave and there is NOTHING wrong with you Love. First you have admitted why your stuck and that fear is a running factor as to why you can’t seem to move to the next step. You see, its in the “fighting” and running that is causing the resistance. That type of energy will keep you stuck and also keep you in a false sense of comfort. Keep yourself from spiraling lower and mentally break through that barrier. I see that you already know what are the first steps in making change. YOU are in charge of what happens! =) Swoop in, save YOU. Its a great credit to take! ;) If you keep doing what you have doing you’ll always get the same results. Ask yourself, “How much longer do I plan to serve myself in this manner, and where is this getting me?” I’d love to hear back from you… Take a step, stop the fight. ;)

      All my Love, Drew

    • Amanda

      Lisa,

      I am currently getting into Advertising & Design. I am 32 working as an Administrative Assistant at a Technology company. I have known for awhile but been complacent and and fearful of change. I know this is not the job nor career for me. I know there are bigger and better things waiting for me.

      There are bigger and better things waiting for you. Determine who you want to become. Determine your passion by just doing. Follow your bliss and know that the path is already set for you.

  • Freely Stuck

    Thanks, Drew, for the awesome post! While I have made a few changes recently (quitting my energy-draing job, then taking two weeks to relax at a loved one’s house. Then accepting a challenge to quit pop for a week.), I really need to make more. I feel like I’m still procrastinating, which I feel like I’ve done my entire life. I’ve alzo let other people save me mutlitiple times, and lately, I’ve been getting sick and tired of it. But as much as I have started to try to “save myself” recently, I’m so used to others saving me, I just let it happen. <3 Samanda

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hey Samanda!
      What an awesome share and procrastination seems to be a very common thread amongst us humans! So happy that you have come to realize that others saving us or waiting to be saved doesn’t do a THING for our self-esteem. It just makes us complacent and continue to spin our wheels. Get up! Make a motion.. What are a few things you can do TODAY Samanda that will shake up and wake up your energy? Don’t wait… ;)

      Big Love,
      Drew

      • Samandaa

        Thanks, Drew! :) <3

        • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

          You betcha! Anytime…. <3 right back!

  • http://www.managingthemagic.com Bryan R

    Dang Drew! Can’t imagine you losing 72 pounds.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Oh but I did Grasshopper! ;) Just wish I didn’t have hit the floor to do it. Ive just been blessed to keep it off for so long… its a daily dedication!

  • Chickoo

    What a wonderful message, thank you for sharing and inspiring us. But I wonder about this last minute. I feel like whenever we achieve progress and become the better version of ourselves that we so hope and dream to become, the turning point is always the last minute for us and with a better sense of self we feel like “i cant believe I let it become that bad/ I let it go that far”. In my experience this has been counterproductive because well we define our own last minute or rock bottom, whichever comes first and we should forgive our time wasted and love ourselves for getting the courage, determination, etc to get out of that because otherwise as I have noticed in my life its easy to revert and find out worse last minutes.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hi Chickoo!
      YES– GREAT insight! Forgiveness of the self really is mucho importante! And one to never, ever forget. As we both say here, its that last minute. The dreaded last minute that I want everyone to not wait for. And DEF forgiveness eases and soothes the crappy things we say to ourselves. With that, MANY last minutes can be avoided! Thanks for a great share!
      Love
      Drew

    • Rising From The Ashes

      Chickoo, you are not alone out there with that train of thought. Elegantly spoken from the heart & I am like you in that regard. You know the answer as I believe we all do deep down? Our subconscious gut feelings are our body telling us the truth? We should be listening to that “gut Feeling” & not always our brain. The brain is what defines us & is in fact who we are on every level & quite often we overanalyse what’s going on in our lives instead of living in the here and now, enjoying the moment & spreading the love(including ourself’s) to everyone. I personally have sabotaged my own loving relationships because of this because of “monkey mind” which I believe should be called “monkey madness” as nothing ever good comes from it when in that state of mind? I now call it a different saying “The Committee” because of the many different view points? We are discussing/contemplating/arguing/deciding which avenue or pathway we should take.

      I have evolved this year & yes it took me the loss of recent dearly departed parents, the true love of my life-my soulmate who did what they thought was right & much to my dismay was the right decision. How I came to this conclusion? When I was told the news of separation, as I was driving away, I got out of my car as I was in shock, a speeding motorist collided with my physical self & as I became one with the car & two again watching my life unfold before me. Even at deaths door I was feebly reassuring the woman it was alright as I’ve always taken responsibility for my actions(being a perfectionist isn’t a good thing I now realize as we are to hard on our selfs). I awoke in hospital having died many times that night I was told.

      When I awoke to the mortal realm the first thing I did was promise myself to be the best I can be, forgive myself & others, be a man who is a shining beacon of light that all look up to high regard, & do everything I said I will do. I now live in abundance, attract positive people endlessly, live out my dreams, go do the things I wanted to always do for me & only me. I have written letter’s to all I have wronged in my previous life! The responses would make you melt. I didn’t expect any & wasn’t looking for one. the path of spiritual enlightenment has saved me @ shaped the man I now am. I am on the pathway to mastering four styles of Yoga, meditation, going to university, I’m highly qualified already yet life is about constant learning, I have risen from the ashes to be reborn one last time & have been given this life to live & enjoy every second that I am here. Time stops for no one.
      Namaste

      • Chickoo

        Dear rising from the ashes,
        thank you. Actually thats not a fair estimate of how touched I was by what you said, but from the bottom of my heart thank you for sharing.
        Firstly I am sorry for your loss and secondly you are amazing and an inspiration because your story spoke to me. I can relate to you and crazily my experience has been similar but definitely not in the same scale, its amazing how you have turned it around, and for me who is in this process, to know that you are ‘living’ and learning and evolving is inspiring and what you shared makes me believe I am on the right path.
        Thank you

        Regards
        Chickoo

        • Peace & Serenity Finally

          love does some funny things doesn’t it Chickoo?

          Thank you for your condolences. It’s been the hardest time of my life as surprising enough when all you want is hugs(compassion) from that someone special who is no longer there it makes it all the more painful. Nobody’s story is greater than another’s as our stories/experience’s are important to who we are. Mine was just a wake up call I needed to have. I’m laughing ATM as it usually takes a woman to leave a man for him to want to make the necessary and positive changes(for himself foremost). That’s the irony, our soulmate is who we cherish & desire most & we push them away when under duress. For me , to the point of saying cruel and wrong words to permanentantly severe the love that was. I only learnt of why from professional help, after my 15 year relationship breakdown I had a new fear I never knew I had… The fear of abandonment. It explained a lot & at least I know for my next relationship which I’m in no rush or desire to be in one as I’m spending as much time as it takes to be the best me possible. Thank you for allowing me to say my thoughts to you. If you ever need to chat I’m here in whatever capacity I can be of help to you?
          Namaste

          • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

            Hello to both Chickoo and Rising/Peace!

            What beautiful shares and openness from you both here on TDL and this blog. Its takes a lot of courage to share and openly discuss what you both are going through and have gone through. Its inspiring.. Thank you SO much for adding the discussion and taking it even further for you both to grow! I love seeing the comraderie!

            All my Love
            Drew

  • Amanda

    I have been at my current career position for almost 3 years. I have acknowledged this is not the career path for me. I work as an Admin Assistant and I am 32 and will be 33 this year. I have a passion for Art & Writing. I have been feeling stuck and complacent for some time now. This article makes me feel there is hope. I understand I am in charge of my decisions and the choices in my life. Sometimes I just want to run like hell from this job and keep running with a paint brush in one hand and a canvass in the other.

    Thank you for inspired myself as well as others.

    Amanda

    • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

      Lol… Amanda, I love that image… you running from the building with the paint brush and canvas! :)

      I have experience walking away from “perfectly good” jobs b/c it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I was a teacher (it’s what I got a college degree in for crying out loud) for a couple of years when I KNEW I did NOT want to do that for the rest of my life! So I finished out the school year and resigned. People thought I was crazy. My mom encouraged me to just keep teaching until I figured out WHAT I wanted to do… but I knew I couldn’t. I had to get away. I had to get distance before I could even think about anything else. And it worked. There’s more to the story (and other jobs/careers along the way), but now I am working as a writer. I have 4 self-published novels on Amazon and have a growingly successful blog. I’ve always believed that the Universe has our backs and that everything happens for a reason and in our best interest. I’ve never had a problem taking the leap. But I’m now learning to TRULY open my heart and live in abundance instead of fear and lack!

      I believe if your calling is to be an artist, you “should” live up to that! We’re all here for a reason. When we get in tune with our Spirit and follow our calling (aka, our passion), THAT is when the stars align, as they say. At least that’s what I believe. And what I’m practicing every day.

      I wish you ALL the best in your journey and whatever path you take!
      A few favorite quotes come to mind:
      “You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.”
      “Yes, I’ll fall before I fly, but no one can say I never tried.”

      In peace and love,
      Sarah
      http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-universe-will-provide-be-open.html

      • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

        Hahaha! I agree Sarah! I loved Amanda image of running with the brush and canvas! Kinda pictured myself doing that when I read it! Thank you so much for adding wisdom to her comment! Youre wisdom is beautifully said and your openness was wonderful!

        With Love,
        Drew

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Yes Amanda! There is hope, and its GREAT that you are experiencing that! Remember, don’t runaway from, run to… ;) Make motion everyday and paint like crazy and answers will come! More of your passion will flow out of you and you’ll be closer each time you do. Don’t wait… PAINT!!

      Lots of Love
      Drew

  • RobP

    This was exactly what I needed to hear – thanks Drew!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Anytime and Thats awesome Rob! So glad is helped!
      Love
      Drew

  • Teresa

    Wow Drew! Good for you!!! How remarkable that you were able to rise above and not only become physically healthy but finding an emotional/ mental health as well… You are a fine example of loving yourself and building up your self worth. Thank you for sharing yourself with us:-) Have a wonderful weekend!!!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Awww..Thank you so much Teresa… you make me *blush* Your words are very uplifting! I enjoy sharing my personal experiences esp if it helps you all out there… :) You have yourself an amazing weekend too!
      BIG Love, Drew

  • Lorraine

    Hi Drew. I really enjoyed your piece and I love the synchronicity I experienced when I read the title! I was meant to read this tonight, thank you for writing it. I am in that exact mode of sitting at home eating instead of getting up and doing something about it. I am also in major countdown to a summer holiday in seven weeks and I keep putting massive pressure on myself. I don’t want to wait til the last minute. I am only putting myself under severe stress and getting no results. I need to start now. Start to change so it isnt desperation instead of excitement and joy in 7 weeks time. Sometimes it can feel like a mountain to climb though…thanks for your positive and honest words.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      I LOVE synchronicity too Lorraine! So glad this blog dropped right in your lap when you needed it! ;) 7 weeks will feel like nothing compared to all the weeks and years people like me sat around wishing. Take on the mountain, make a motion every single day! Desperation will fade as you pick yourself up each day….You are awesome! Let me know how you do!

      Lots of Love
      Drew

  • Patty

    Thank you for this! I’m actually a little on the chubby side and I’ve lost weight in the past- but I’m constantly fluctuating (i have a terrible sugar addiction!)
    But I know that you’re right- you can’t just sit there wishing things like losing weight will happen for you miraculously whilst your eating chocolate (being there and done that hahaha)
    But I think now I’ve really decided to lose those stubborn kilos and I know that I’m not overweight per se but just a little on the chubby side but I’ve been like for a few year and I guess all I’m saying is that I’ve decided that I want to be that ‘ideal’ weight for me!
    And thanks for your article; it helped motivate me more!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      That’s awesome Patty!! Im SO glad the article helped to get you motivated! I know that sugar addictions ARE BAD! I weaned myself off it too, and just last year! Its a process. But one that I stay dedicated to and so glad that I do! I know that YOU can do the same. Stay on the “happy” make a move everyday, and stay on the motivation train my dear! Those kilos will no longer have a home with you! :)

      All my Love
      Drew

  • ian

    I’ve been having trouble with just being happy and relaxed my whole life. I had a rough childhood with a very violent father with a very unpredictable mood so I’ve learned not to trust happyness. It kept me safe in childhood but now being a grownup I see how this “and when I wil grow up all will be different” never came true… only it isn’t my father’s fault anymore, right now it is my own SELF that is scared to just be happy.

    It was important for me to read that good changes feel uncomfortable because I’ve been trying to let others people into my life but it feels soooo scary and uncomfortabe, even just having a nice day feels scary – I seem to WANT anything bad to happen, to the point where I even cause it myself – only to get a chance to get back into my sad but familiar pseudo-life.
    Right now all is great… and find myself super frustrated but this time I am just breathing through fear… and staying happy

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hi Ian!
      Thank you so much for being open and for sharing… Way to go! I know that our past many times shapes what we have become in our adult lives. We just have a hard time leaving it back in the past. We make it our present and future and it tends to numb us. Im SO GLAD that you read here that positive change, ANY change towards moving away from what is “comfortable” will always be uncomfortable. If is wasnt, it wouldnt feel that way. Its just up to us to keep moving through and look forward to what we could and will become! Dont just stay happy… FEEL happy. And yes, keep breathing as the amazing changes happen! Let me know how you do…
      With Love
      Drew

  • angie

    This came at the right time.
    I have been married 10 yrs. I care for my husband but my heart will not respond to him. God knows I’ve tried. After so many infidelitis, i decided to ask for a divorce. I heard my sister say “some ppl are meant to be alone”. This crushed me. Am i meant to be alone? I began relationships to make my heart feel. Failures.
    I decided to move from home, and fear of the unknown creeps up. Will I make it alone with my two boys. Is it that important for me to feel with my heart that i am willing to leave a good marriage? Yes.
    Now Im going to leave a grey paying job to start over? Is this worth it? I don’t know.I become depressed with my situation, it gives me a reason to continue smoking. Due to my smoking, i have stopped going to the gym hence gaining weight. This morning my son saw tears rolling down my eyes….I don’t want him to worry so i hold them in.
    Im terrified. But after reading this, I understand why Im terrified. It’s leaving my comfort zone to become a better person. I need tostop dwelling and start doing.
    My life is in shambles right now but good change is coming. I really need to follow my heart.

  • Jessica Morales

    Hey Drew! I found your blog very inspiring! Thank you. I’m in my 30′s and am also very driven toward the arts in several things including performing, modeling, photography, computer graphics, and sketching. I have spent a good 5-6 years entertaining all of these areas outside of working a regular 8-5pm. I want to take a few of these passions and run with them full force! I really enjoy acting, but I don’t live in a big market and I know myself – I need to be in a big city with A LOT of energy!!!! I feel so bored with the south (North Carolina) and I need a change, but I’m paralyzed in fear with moving because of the lack of money and an idea of where to move to. I’m not sure how to get started with moving. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.