There was a time, many years ago, when I was overweight. And truthfully, at first, I didn’t mind. But when I kept seeing the numbers around my waist keep going up every 6-8 months, I started to get concerned and ended up hating myself for it. It was awful. I would sit there in my house and try to “wish” the pounds away. I would sit and think about how great it would be to fit into slimmer clothes and work out without losing my breath. I would shove another donut in my mouth, knowing full well that this sweet yet evil treat was not helping in any way or form, but it was affecting my shape. Haven’t you all been there? Come on, I know you have! *grin* But the point is that I knew I had to change. I knew I had to do something that would break my cycle of poor eating and drinking habits. But instead of actually making a move to DO SOMETHING, I would just wait. As if a delicious healthy magic wand would get my fat a** up and into the gym. (Which, by the way, I was paying for and not attending.) Oh, you’ve been there too, I see…
Another part to this story is that I did end up losing weight! 72 pounds. What an accomplishment, right? Well yes, in many ways. But in other ways it was gross and destructive. I waited so long KNOWING that I needed to do something about my weight that I lost many things in the process. A relationship, my job, and my house. Then I started to feel ill and very sickly because I was not treating my body well. I was in such horrible times and emotional mindsets that before I even decided it was time to actually do something about my health, I continued down the road of destruction and starting losing everything. I was subbing in a classroom, so doped up on pain pills (because I “hurt my back”) that I fell asleep sitting up, in the middle of MY OWN read-aloud to a room full of 6th graders. When one student said, “Mr. Andrew is sleepy…” I jolted up and became instantly mortified at myself. In that moment, that very DESPERATE moment, my life changed. Forever. I cried all day that day…
You see, I should have never waited ’til something that inappropriate, embarrassing, not to mention unprofessional, had to happen to me to make a change in my life and feel like there are no options. To be that low, and have so many other things coming down on my life, I had to be very desperate. I had to learn how desperation is an energy-draining emotion, and how we should CHOOSE not to wait ’til the last minute to make improvements and change in our lives for the better and for the Love of the people in our lives. I waited because I believed some great answer or solution was going to come along and make me all better, that someone else would heal me. I found myself more comfortable doing what I was doing instead of a taking a leap of action that could have saved me from all that time, self-hatred and embarrassment.
When it comes to making a decision that will make a tremendous difference in your life, learn to know that fear is supposed to be there and feel strange and make you want to stay put! Making change is supposed to feel uncomfortable. Better than feeling desperate! Waiting ’til the last minute to make change is a waste of time and lack of motion.
Desperation leads to poor decision-making. When you decide to make changes now, instead of later, isn’t it funny how there seem to be more options, yet you’re more uncomfortable and less likely to do it? Why is that? Could it be because we have lulled ourselves in SUCH a state of comfort that we don’t even realize that change must happen in order for us to succeed at anything? We somehow trick ourselves into believing that comfort is safety, but down the line we get back in to the pattern of beating ourselves up over and over and start telling stories of our great adventures to our loved ones and then sooner or later they begin to notice a pattern in you. They notice your lack of action, and are led to a level of sometimes eye-rolling familiarity with you. These patterns seem to feed off each other, instead of extending that cord into the world that we dream and talk about doing. For some of us, it’s just getting to the gym or starting a new diet lifestyle. There are harder ones, like leaving a job or relationship, or going to school and learning a new career.
I feel we sometimes stay put for so long because we DON’T want things to change for fear of loss. We can say over and over, “It’s what I know,” but what about “What could I become?” Doesn’t that sound like a more refreshing and higher vibrational statement and thought to think? The former puts us into a time loop of sorts, repeating the same hours, days, and events over and over again and repeating patterns of pain. The latter leads into to worlds of treasure, glory and a massive feeling of accomplishment and growth. I believe we have got to stop using our repetitive emotions like sadness, anger, disappointment and disgust as a reason to prove others wrong and stay in places that WE KNOW get us nowhere but the same place, over and over. Whenever you have wanted to “do something” or “change something” and you KNOW you do BUT YOU DON’T, can’t you see how that crosses the wires between your mind and body? And continuing that creates a pattern of complacency, disappointment and even denial? The good news is that the exact OPPOSITE can happen when you take the action and consistently commit to it. It’s like a formula. Makes sense to me…
So how do we figure this out? One of the best ways is to pay attention to the signs and feelings that are dropping into your life. When you feel some discomfort, that’s change. When you are offered a solution, that’s change. When we face adversity, that’s an opportunity to lovingly speak our voice, offer your opinion and stand up for ourselves… That’s change. When we “don’t want to,” and we know should, that’s change. And it all can happen sooner than later, but we have to let it! I love being able to present and teach this to my clients! Open up about what I went through. Making these huge leaps to change their lives now has birthed some AMAZING results, in so many different areas of each of their lives. And mine. Take a step, expect the fear and resistance. Know it’s coming. You’ll be ahead of the game. And your improved life: HEY it’s beautiful and it’s waiting for you to embody it! Stop waiting ’til the last minute to make change like I did. Start change NOW! Remember, not every change has to be HUGE! It can start sometimes by just taking a different route to work and see where the detour takes you…
So what parts of your life are you wanting to change? What habitual routines have you been wanting to dump? Can you, in THIS MOMENT, decide to make the change and do something you’ve been talking about for years and stick with it? What would your life look like if you committed to that plan? Can you LIBERATE yourself and start change now? Let’s talk in the comments below!
ALL my Love,
Andrew “Drew” Parales is a Vocational Rehab Educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. Connect with Drew at: