Do you believe the stories you tell to… YOURSELF?
I’m sure we all remember when we were kids that our parents would tell us stories that made us feel happy and fantasize about what our Cinderella or Super Hero lives would be like when we grew up. Or what about those stories when we got little older when we would be with our friends and make up stories about flying in airplanes, saving the world and defeating the enemies?! Wow… we actually believed that we could, and sometimes, in our dreamlike states we did. What happened in our adult lives that made us stop dreaming and storytelling in this way? Did we somehow take a turn somewhere in our growing up and start to NOT believe in the stories we told our friends and ourselves about saving the world, coming up with cures to help those that were sick, being a model, an actor, a writer, a singer, and even the president of, well, ANYTHING? What ever happened to those stories? How did so many of us lose that innocence of our childhood and start telling DIFFERENT kinds of stories, those self-loathing, self-hating stories that keep us from going after these childlike dreams and believe the worst in ourselves?
In the world we live today and in my own life is that as adults, we have this unusually bad habit of telling stories to others (and mostly OURSELVES) stories that are not only flat-out lies, but completely outrageous. Let’s get honest with ourselves for just a few minutes here and own up to the fact that we don’t always think the most positive thoughts towards ourselves. During our days, we go around feeling like we cannot accomplish something because we are not smart enough, don’t have enough money, aren’t worthy of an amazing job or career, that we are unattractive, ugly, overweight, too old, we don’t belong, or have as much as the person we want so badly to be like or hang around. We sit around telling ourselves sad little stories that make us feel like sh**. And then after awhile, we begin to say and think these thoughts. They seem to become so real and we start to think the worst thing can happen… We begin to believe them. We believe we are worthless, poor, unsuccessful, ugly, and too stupid to do anything right. When we believe these words and thoughts, didn’t you know that we start to subconsciously LIVE out these running beliefs and thoughts? They become what we are, how we are, and worst of all, WHO we are. And I just want to share with you that is just not true… We find ourselves spiraling out of control for YEARS, and it becomes all too easy to stay in these patterns. And so many of us do. So now what?
I still experience this in my own life. When I have experiences that don’t necessarily match what I had hoped for or I screw something up, I start to tell myself stories about what I failure I am and that I’ll never be successful. I feel the pain so badly that I begin to really listen to these stories and start to believe them. Why? Because I got so used to telling to them to myself over and over. It wasn’t til I just got so fed up with being in a rut, I started listening to the wisdom of the gurus that I admire. I thought there had to be a different way. How did all those childhood stories make me FEEL like I could conquer the world and the stories of my adult life make me want to jump off a flippin’ cliff? Then I heard a quote, a wisdom that changed my life. “A belief is a thought you just keep thinking…” — Esther Hicks. (Esther is a best-selling author and personal growth speaker from the teachings of “Abraham”) WOW– That was a concept that I hadn’t even considered. So I experimented. I would have a crappy thing happen, I would wait for the negative beliefs to creep out of my mouth, and I just decided to TELL A DIFFERENT STORY to myself. Something uplifting, something loving and caring about myself, give a different meaning to my circumstance. For example, after a handful of times, after formally repeating to myself for example, “I am so unattractive,” I would switch it to the exact opposite. “I am beautiful,” I’d tell myself instead. When I think more often about something more uplifting, the MORE I would believe it. And amazing things and opportunities began to drop into my life!
You see, the same thing will happen for you! If you start telling yourself better stories and the start telling better stories to the people in your life? They will appreciate hearing such love and beauty coming from you! (Keep in mind there is difference between telling stories of what you are looking forward to experiencing vs. flat-out narcissism. Let’s be honest, you KNOW the difference ;).) Start by not waiting for something to happen or for you to mess something up to start telling yourself better feeling stories. Begin by slowly saying and thinking amazing and loving words to yourself. You probably won’t believe them at first, but that’s because you’ve programmed yourself for YEARS to believe the opposite! Tell stories of your past successes, the abundance that is present in your life, or what you are looking forward to experiencing. Just make it a point to feel better… Because when you FEEL better, life becomes SO much more bearable and livable. And the more often you call up the better feeling stories to tell yourself and others, you will start to believe these thoughts and they will become true, which is your life experience! Think of it as a refresher course in Storytellers 101.
So what stories can you let go of today? What better-feeling stories can you start telling yourself? What stories can you begin to tell people that will start to make a shift in your life? How do you think your life will change by just thinking different thoughts? I’d like to know in the comments!
All my Love, Drew
Andrew “Drew” Parales is a Vocational Rehab Educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. He is a former studio photographer and most recently captures landscape stills as a creative outlet and form of art. Now he is bringing all his years in Education and Artistry to the world as a Liberation & Personal Inspirational Writer/Creator and Mentor at his Blog www.iLOVEliberation.com. His work with individuals is based on his own personal breakthroughs (and being Life Coached himself), his students, inspiring Liberation, and Self-Love. Connect with Drew at: