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Storytellers 101!

Do you believe the stories you tell to… YOURSELF?

Drew ParalesI’m sure we all remember when we were kids that our parents would tell us stories that made us feel happy and fantasize about what our Cinderella or Super Hero lives would be like when we grew up. Or what about those stories when we got little older when we would be with our friends and make up stories about flying in airplanes, saving the world and defeating the enemies?! Wow… we actually believed that we could, and sometimes, in our dreamlike states we did. What happened in our adult lives that made us stop dreaming and storytelling in this way? Did we somehow take a turn somewhere in our growing up and start to NOT believe in the stories we told our friends and ourselves about saving the world, coming up with cures to help those that were sick, being a model, an actor, a writer, a singer, and even the president of, well, ANYTHING? What ever happened to those stories? How did so many of us lose that innocence of our childhood and start telling DIFFERENT kinds of stories, those self-loathing, self-hating stories that keep us from going after these childlike dreams and believe the worst in ourselves?

In the world we live today and in my own life is that as adults, we have this unusually bad habit of telling stories to others (and mostly OURSELVES) stories that are not only flat-out lies, but completely outrageous. Let’s get honest with ourselves for just a few minutes here and own up to the fact that we don’t always think the most positive thoughts towards ourselves. During our days, we go around feeling like we cannot accomplish something because we are not smart enough, don’t have enough money, aren’t worthy of an amazing job or career, that we are unattractive, ugly, overweight, too old, we don’t belong, or have as much as the person we want so badly to be like or hang around. We sit around telling ourselves sad little stories that make us feel like sh**. And then after awhile, we begin to say and think these thoughts. They seem to become so real and we start to think the worst thing can happen… We begin to believe them. We believe we are worthless, poor, unsuccessful, ugly, and too stupid to do anything right. When we believe these words and thoughts, didn’t you know that we start to subconsciously LIVE out these running beliefs and thoughts? They become what we are, how we are, and worst of all, WHO we are. And I just want to share with you that is just not true… We find ourselves spiraling out of control for YEARS, and it becomes all too easy to stay in these patterns. And so many of us do. So now what?

I still experience this in my own life. When I have experiences that don’t necessarily match what I had hoped for or I screw something up, I start to tell myself stories about what I failure I am and that I’ll never be successful. I feel the pain so badly that I begin to really listen to these stories and start to believe them. Why? Because I got so used to telling to them to myself over and over. It wasn’t til I just got so fed up with being in a rut, I started listening to the wisdom of the gurus that I admire. I thought there had to be a different way. How did all those childhood stories make me FEEL like I could conquer the world and the stories of my adult life make me want to jump off a flippin’ cliff? Then I heard a quote, a wisdom that changed my life. “A belief is a thought you just keep thinking…” — Esther Hicks. (Esther is a best-selling author and personal growth speaker from the teachings of “Abraham”) WOW– That was a concept that I hadn’t even considered. So I experimented. I would have a crappy thing happen, I would wait for the negative beliefs to creep out of my mouth, and I just decided to TELL A DIFFERENT STORY to myself. Something uplifting, something loving and caring about myself, give a different meaning to my circumstance. For example, after a handful of times, after formally repeating to myself for example, “I am so unattractive,” I would switch it to the exact opposite. “I am beautiful,” I’d tell myself instead. When I think more often about something more uplifting, the MORE I would believe it. And amazing things and opportunities began to drop into my life!

You see, the same thing will happen for you! If you start telling yourself better stories and the start telling better stories to the people in your life? They will appreciate hearing such love and beauty coming from you! (Keep in mind there is difference between telling stories of what you are looking forward to experiencing vs. flat-out narcissism. Let’s be honest, you KNOW the difference ;).) Start by not waiting for something to happen or for you to mess something up to start telling yourself better feeling stories. Begin by slowly saying and thinking amazing and loving words to yourself. You probably won’t believe them at first, but that’s because you’ve programmed yourself for YEARS to believe the opposite! Tell stories of your past successes, the abundance that is present in your life, or what you are looking forward to experiencing. Just make it a point to feel better… Because when you FEEL better, life becomes SO much more bearable and livable. And the more often you call up the better feeling stories to tell yourself and others, you will start to believe these thoughts and they will become true, which is your life experience! Think of it as a refresher course in Storytellers 101. :)

So what stories can you let go of today? What better-feeling stories can you start telling yourself? What stories can you begin to tell people that will start to make a shift in your life? How do you think your life will change by just thinking different thoughts? I’d like to know in the comments!

All my Love, Drew

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Andrew “Drew” Parales is a Vocational Rehab Educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. He is a former studio photographer and most recently captures landscape stills as a creative outlet and form of art. Now he is bringing all his years in Education and Artistry to the world as a Liberation & Personal Inspirational Writer/Creator and Mentor at his Blog www.iLOVEliberation.com. His work with individuals is based on his own personal breakthroughs (and being Life Coached himself), his students, inspiring Liberation, and Self-Love. Connect with Drew at:

www.iloveliberation.com

Facebook: ILOVEliberation

Twitter: @iLOVEliberation

 

  • Gayle

    What an awesome article!!! And I needed it today…I’ve been wallowing in a pity party for myself since yesterday, which would have been my dad’s 88th birthday. I kept making myself sadder and sadder by compacting missing him with a bunch of bullsh*t stories I keep telling myself – dwelling on the past, dwelling on the negatives in my life…UGH!!! Why do we DO this to ourselves!?!? This article really made me snap out of it and helped to turn my day around…I started to focus on the good in my life, all of the positive things that I have going for me…especially wonderful friends who are ALWAYS there for me! Thanks for this wonderful inspiration Drew!!! Love, Gayle

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Thank you SO MUCH Gayle for sharing such a personal story… It doesn’t matter what our experience is, or what losses we have been been through, its seems that something inevitably will rock us somehow and kick in to “negative mode!” As you see its super counter-intuitive to turn things around after losing your dad, so moving on can be difficult from such a blow. The more you focus on the GREAT and LOVING things in your life like your wonderful friends, you’ll soon see it’s what your Dad has ALWAYS wanted for you! Im so proud of you! Way to go… Im SO happy this helped you!
      All my Love, Drew xoxo

  • mary

    This article reminded of the fact I had been worrying a lot and at the same time belittling myself due to a decision I made today…I just realized now that I had an alternative. That I could change the story. It was still my fault lol but I didn’t have to be beating myself up over it.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      I think its GREAT that you were able to see things a little differently Mary! Sometimes for growth, all we need is a little bit of a shift in perspective. It can fend off the belittling of oneself a heck of a lot more! GREAT JOB!
      With Love
      Drew

  • NOT FOR THE FEINT HEARTED

    Once upon a time there was a young vibrant man named David, who has finally awoken & admitted to himself that his recent life story of absorbing all the negativity and impending sorrow to lesson the emotional pain of others by being the rock for many other’s & in the inevitable loss one parent to cancer & then endure it again within a month & a half, the other parent from a broken heart they believe(heart attack). He tried so hard to revive her to no avail as the ambulance didn’t make it in time. On a positive note I’ve had some practise at resuscitation now. It was the hardest thing to watch as the light faded from her eyes, it is etched within me as a scar & as I became the façade itself & all what was bound to occur did & that rock began to fracture & as that fracture grew so did his behaviour to the one closest one to him who had only recently left a fortnight before my first parent’s death….. a soulmate to who I loved so deeply like no other, as the Sun Respects the Earth, as she could not bear my irrational behaviour any longer which is understandable I see now as some souls can’t handle the associated grief and pain I was emitting to her…why I absorbed it for all other’s & then released it verbally on the one I called my soulmate mystifies me- the belief of abandonment at my greatest time of need in my entire life maybe? It matter’s not as that is in the past and I am in the “NOW”and must remove themselves from the situation to save themself & I now see that I should have accepted it as it makes no difference when another has made their mind up and his verbal actions prior since brought only spite & hate towards me which finally turned a flaw that was a fracture into a new wonderful story of a man reborn as if the phoenix itself & by picking himself up & I’m on the right path of spiritual enlightenment & only by living in the “NOW”(which hasn’t been easy I can say as by becoming truly aware my ability to see things clearly and act in such a manner is as without going to many forms of counselling,hypnotherapy, life/spiritual coach’s using Enneagrams-I am a seven(amazing accurate & highly recommended) as well Ashtanya/Tantra Yoga, dancing, gym, cycling, swimming and the biggest & best one of all Meditation( & lets not forget a close second TDL & all it’s reader’s). I do all multiple times per week and work a full time job! I realise I need to slow down yet it is what motivates me ATM.
    I doubt this story would have been told in first person if I didn’t follow my new path of spiritual enlightenment.

    THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING MY SPIRIT GUIDES AS I’M FOREVER GRATEFUL.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      What an amazing story… thank you for sharing… Seems you feel A LOT and see many things… You have many modalities that help you along the way and that you find strength and courage in the teaching you surround yoursef with. The TDL community truly is great place to learn. Never lose the drive to be enlightened and keep learning! Your journey is a great one.. Im glad we are all here to help!

      Lots of Love
      Drew

      • LimitlessRaysOfCarity

        Thank you so much Drew,

        Before I start I know not where your life is leading you yet I sense you the true path & have been for some time & I sense you are stepping closer to the “being” of self enlightenment.

        I realised one of my problems was my pride. My pride stopped me from asking for help throughout my life as I am a big believer of standing on my own two feet. I should have swallowed my pride & asked for help from other family member’s, relatives, friend’s, charities, even the ex-partner as if I did she may have realised my actions were from an exterior issue & not from within me which she will never know.

        Why I didn’t openly discuss the emotional anguish is another story n itself. I didn’t wish to burden her as her own father had a heart attack a year before & on many occasions when his name was brought up I saw the inner child in her instantaneously surface – & one of fear even terror you may say & I had never seen this in a person before. The fear of him passing was too much to bear now & I don’t think she even realises this or knows why she was always like that. Because of her reaction I didn’t discuss it much around her & as I write this it explains why she didn’t see my family that much as she made other excuses but deep down I believe & only now as I write this do I see the clarity as she didn’t like seeing death taking hold of someone as her thoughts would subconsciously bring out her fears

        WOW who am I . Gee hindsight is bliss & I write this with no past emotional guilt or anguish. Love for being in the moment right now. I’m alive….I have the the only gift we need! Ourselves.

        I’ve read all your other articles recently too & you are very similar in mindset to me as you say it how it is, straight up even it’s brutally honest as you wouldn’t say it if you had any doubts. I could even feel your charisma through your posts as you like I have a lot of life skills which are far more important and useful in life’s journey than any education/degree will do.

        Don’t get me wrong I’m an educated man, I see too many people stereotype and think they are above other’s as I deal with a lot of wealthy people who exude power and yet I see loneliness in their eyes as I can talk to anyone & make them feel at ease & talk on any subject usually..Anyhow I’m babbling on…….

        Yours sincerely,

        “From A Land Down Under”

        Spiritual Apprentice.

        • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

          Hello again Spiritual Apprentice! =) Your words and thoughts are so incredibly visual and like I said earlier seems you feel and see alot from your experiences in your life. You have come an amazingly long way and you have opened yourself up to being a student for spirituality and that is a HUGE step to take! I commend you for that.. Whats even better is the honest take that you have your life (like mine–) and the actions and accountability you take as well. Stay in your moments, be with yourself in order to give to others, when your ready. Remember to keep telling feel good stories to yourself. Its going to be amazing!
          Big Love!
          Drew

  • Dora

    Thank You!!! This article was the right story for me this evening and it will help me to create many beautiful sories in my life, believe in them and experience in them in the present. Best wishes from Berlin!:)

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      You are very welcome Dora! Glad that this share can help you create all new stories for and about your life! Thats the point.. Believe them, FEEL them! Hope all is well in Berlin!! =)

      Love
      Drew

  • Amy

    I love this message of telling a new story. It’s amazing when we really become aware of the negative stories we tell ourselves – not being good enough, smart enough…whatever enough. Why do we tell ourselves this crap? Would we hang around with people who talk to us like that? Hopefully not! Then why do we let ourselves get away with it?

    I recently read a passage in A Course in Miracles that really spoke to me, and relates to your message – “You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, and are passively condoning your mind’s miscreations.” To go along with the Esther Hicks quote, I guess we passively allow these negative thoughts and then take them on as truth. I’ve become inspired to more carefully watch my thoughts, and make a more conscious choice of what I tell myself and what I choose to believe. Very eye opening, and well written. Thanks Drew!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hello Amy!
      Thanks so much for writing in and sharing! Yes– the Course In Miracles has SUCH great messages, and they transcend so well… You said it in that we are SO PROGRAMMED to tell ourselves this crap over and over, hang out with the wrong people alot, then we blame ourselves and tell ourselves all kinds of lies! Its almost funny if you think about it. =) Where did we get that from? So happy that you are inspired to view your thoughts more carefully and say more loving things to yourself. Let me know what transformations will happen in your life as you do, would love to hear!
      All my Love
      Drew

    • Choice

      Happy Friday Amy,

      I know exactly where you coming from & it’s because our brains are such a powerful “computer” you may say(I couldn’t think of the right word, apologises) & I am coming to the conclusion people in general create their own stress and issues as we all have at times being living in the past,future & not enough in the present….the “NOW” & once we do that physically & mentally you will find as I have recently found to my amazement that life is great, you start attracting abundance in all aspects of your life, positive people want to be around you constantly, you become truly happy within yourself as by living in the now & not “thinking negatively, stressing, contemplating, what if, why” all of a sudden life ordinary things become the extra ordinary. Basically getting back to basics and living in the moment.

      With regard to other’s you answered your own question there:) One reason we hang around them is we have a connection with that person(s) in some form or another and we therefore create an attachment with that person as we relate to them just as we see ourself’s when looking in a mirror. And what you were saying about “you let them get away with it” as deep down it usually takes two two to tango & we all should communicate openly & honestly & not lose thy composure(I used to in the past on occasion & I automatically discredited my view in the discussion,heated argument etc as I let my emotions run rampart). We choose who we associate with so if you don’t like them move on and meet positive people as I have done.