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Success – Does One Size Fit All?

Success.

0932 Terri Cole HI RESEveryone is striving for it, lots of people are talking about it and there are experts for every aspect of it. Every business strategist or happiness coach out there has a different set of steps they must take to become successful. And they would work great if people were all the same, from the same background, with the exact same life experiences, desires, dreams and goals. But they’re not. What resonates with one person might make no sense at all to another. Does this mean that someone is wrong and someone is right? No, it just means that there is no one size fits all formula for success. Your job is to find what fits your scenario and feels right to YOU.

I learned this early on in my career as a talent agent. I was very ambitious and believed that part of my winning formula was to just work harder and longer than everyone else. I made assumptions about the happiness level of super successful agents based on their famous clients and their big homes in Malibu (Obviously happy, right? Who wouldn’t be?). As my salary increased and my own clients became more famous, people started making those same erroneous assumptions about me. Friends and family who were not in the business assumed since I had ‘made it,’ obviously I too was happy now that my life was easy – all private jets and comped nights in Vegas, right? Um, no… not at all, actually. At first their assumption of my overall bliss-filled success made me feel great. Eventually, though, all of the positive feedback created confusion between how I thought I should feel, and how I actually did feel. I wanted to feel as amped up about my career as others did. So I kept pushing and became more and more ‘successful.’ I kept seeking feelings of contentment and satisfaction that didn’t come.

I realized that success, for me, is all about balance. The dysfunction that I witnessed and experienced throughout my career could not have been further from a balanced life. I eventually recognized this and left that career to create my own version of  success.

While for me success and balance go hand in hand, some of my nearest and dearest friends have a totally different, and sometimes polar opposite view on what success is and how to get it.

For instance, my dear and brilliant friend Danielle LaPorte thinks balance is a myth. Her road to success is about being ALL IN, keeping your word and banging it out. She told me the story of writing her enormously successful, Desire Map in about a third of the time it should take. She said, “I just wrote and wrote and wrote and when it was done, I collapsed for a month.” Working hard then resting hard, or, as she recently said, “Full out to full Savasana.”

Author and Speaker and close pal, Simon Sinek believes that true success is dependent on knowing the why of what you are doing. He gives examples throughout his work of companies and people who knew why they were doing what they were doing and how this distinction created massive success. He offers a totally transformational way of not only looking at success but backing into it based on what truly motivates you (your own why). His recently released book, Leaders Eat Last, is transforming business leadership just as his bestselling, Start with the Why, transformed the way we find our way to success.

Motivational Speaker Tony Robbins believes that success is all about action. The more action you take toward pleasure, the more likely you are to have success. Robbins understands that many of the decisions people make cause them a lot of pain, yet they continue to make the same choices. When you get into a new habit of action away from what hasn’t worked, you open up opportunities for a totally new life.

While it can be very helpful to learn about success from others, when it really comes down to it, your success starts and ends with you. (Tweet-worthy!) More than anything success is about a feeling state. Ask yourself ‘how do I feel when I’m most successful?’ Once you’ve answered this, you can begin to create your own road map to success. Maybe success for you isn’t about knowing why you are doing what you do, but taking action really lights you up. Or maybe you’re more like Danielle and a full out to full stop work flow feels right with balance not really being in the mix. There is no right or wrong, just what is right for you.

I want hear hear what success means to you and how it feels. Please drop a comment and share your success struggles and triumphs with me and our Daily Love family.

I hope you have an awesomely successful week and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love

Terri

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As a licensed therapist, transformation coach, and mentor to well-known personalities in wellness, empowerment, and entertainment, Terri Cole is honored to help clients, and now readers like you, remain present and grounded, despite life’s complexities. She provides sustainable, action-oriented solutions you can implement TODAY that allow you to live a life that thrills you. Follow Terri on Facebook and Twitter.

  • asolheim

    Awesome article!! I’m going through a big, somewhat scary move right now, and am learning how to trust my intuition, and yet still keep in mind what others have said, and how it went for them(the pilgrimage from any state, to LA isn’t new, but it’s different for everyone.) That being said, I’m feeling like I’ve hit one level of success, in just that I’m actually going now. Reading this article, showed me that success isn’t black and white; it’s all colours of the rainbow. And something else occurred to me: perhaps balance is the same way. I’ve tried to live a peaceful, balanced life, and sometimes it works, but most of the time my life is action. Going places, hanging out with friends, working, or just daydreaming hard about my dreams(destiny). I’m slowing learning to take care of my health better, but then again, I’ve always been pretty blessed with great health. So I’ve also learned, not to fight myself too much on how I “should” be eating/drinking/exercising. Because then I feel mad/bad that I can’t get it. I’ve learned that sometimes, you learn by necessity(Sold my car to move to Cali=lots of walking once I get there. ;P). Thanks for the awesome article!
    <3 <3

    • The Daily Love

      We’re glad that you enjoyed it, Asolheim! Thank you for sharing!!
      -Team TDL

    • http://www.terricole.com/ terri cole

      You are so welcome Asolheim! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here and we are sending you the best energy for your move xo

  • Helen

    Love this! Thank you!

    • http://www.terricole.com/ terri cole

      Thanks Helen! So glad you enjoyed reading it!

  • http://www.TheHealthyApple.com/ Amie Valpone

    Awesome Terri; sending this article to my clients. Very well written and said. Thank you; have a great weekend. xo

    • http://www.terricole.com/ terri cole

      Amie that is so great to hear! I am happy you found it helpful! Thank you!

  • Valerie Marie Rutherford

    I’ve definitely found I need balance like you, Terri. I’ve tried the full-out working until you’re exhausted, but it very clearly doesn’t work for me. I get anxious, depressed, and ill. And the time it takes to recover sort of negates what I gained from working so hard. In the end, I often feel I could have done more over that time by just staying balanced. So, I’m trying not to give into the temptation of trying to prove my worth by getting things done quickly. I do also agree that everyone has their own way to success. I get frustrated when someone makes their way sound like the only way.

    • http://www.terricole.com/ terri cole

      Valerie congrats on recognizing what does, and does not, work for you. Sounds like balance is your key to success!