Master your love life in 5 weeks with Mastin! Love Uni-versity 5 week online course starts soon! → Check it out!

The Easiest Way To Overcome Self-Inflicted Suffering!

chrisassaadGood morning friends,

I’m writing this blog on Day 4 of a clean eating plan that I decided to embark upon after being on the road for a month and feeling like I could use a little tune-up. I’m eliminating processed sugar, caffeine, dairy, wheat and alcohol, and I’m already feeling my nerves calming down and the fog slowly lifting. My active mind is also beginning to settle and I’ve been feeling a consistent level of energy from morning til night. I’m committed to staying on this path and to really creating a sustainable lifestyle that allows me to create, live and express at my full potential.

I was sharing this with a friend yesterday and something they said has stuck with me. It was something along the lines of, “I don’t have the discipline that you do.” All I heard when they carried on was multiple versions of and justifications for the belief “I can’t.”

What my friend failed to consider is that there was a time when I was standing in those very same shoes, wondering how the heck I was going to get out of the woods of a lifestyle of smoking, drinking, not eating well and not taking care of my body.

The thing I’ve come to realize is that “I can’t” is just a really disempowering way of saying, “I don’t know how to yet” or even better, “I haven’t yet.” Anything is possible. A-NY-THING! And all it takes is a crisp decision and enough desire to back that decision up with the necessary amount of action to make it stick.

Smoking is my favorite example, and I can speak it about because I’ve been there. I was a bona fide smoke for over ten years. There was a time when I thought I would never be able to kick it and I feared that I’d be a smoker for life and worse yet, that I would die of a horrible smoking-related disease.

Despite the habitual element of smoking and all the reasons that people come up with to justify the continued self-inflicted torture that all smokers endure, at the root of it all, smoking is caused by an addiction to nicotine, one of the most addictive drugs known to man. The physical withdrawal from nicotine is real but not all that significant and certainly not insurmountable (trust me, I’ve been there and back a few times). But that’s not what keeps people smoking*. The true culprit is the fear of what life will be like without it and in most cases, fear of what they will have to go through to get to the other side. In other words, it’s that voice that says, “I can’t.”

When it comes to smoking or any other self-defeating behavior that is largely held in place by fear-based mental constructs and patterns, the solution is clear and simple:

Make a decision and stick to it.

There is a voice inside every smoker that whispers of freedom and that dreams of a life of good health and clean lungs. There is a voice inside each and every one of us that whispers of freedom from self-inflicted mental and emotional suffering, and that dreams of a life built on empowering beliefs and a healthy sense of self.

This is the voice of Truth and it speaks of what’s possible. The only thing separating us from the reality that it points towards is a little bit of uncertainty, a little bit of discomfort and an iron-clad commitment to staying the course.

If you were to decide RIGHT NOW that you wanted to be free from your addiction to nicotine or sugar or sex or TV or Facebook, self-pity or negative self-talk, all you have to do is make a decision that you will NOT smoke that cigarette, eat that sweet, indulge in the behavior in question.

Despite fears to the contrary, I can promise that NOT doing any of the above will not kill you. Yes, you will be uncomfortable, you might feel a pinch, you might become temporarily irritable and you might be tempted to turn back and give in. BUT…if your resolve to stick to your decision and honor the voice of Truth within you is strong, nothing can make you go back. You are the one who gets to decide how it goes and you can turn what was once an “I can’t” to “I can and I did” and now “I know how to” and can help others to do the same.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t seek additional help or support in overcoming the behavior in question. In fact, in many cases, that can help you strengthen your resolve and stick to your decision. It also doesn’t mean you can’t do some prep and psych yourself up mentally before tearing off the band-aid, but the truth is that you will never be fully ready and the only way to get there is to take the leap.

On the other side of the forest of uncertainty and discomfort is the life you’ve been longing for and limitless possibilities.

I’ve gotten to “I can” many times by making a decision and sticking to it. I know you can to.

How about NOW?

Much love,

Chris

* For more help becoming smoke-free, check out Alan Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Smoking

###

Chris Assaad is a singer/songwriter and inspirational artist from Toronto who left a promising career in law several years ago to pursue his dream of a career in music. Since then, Chris has been actively using his voice to enCOURAGE others to follow their dreams, express their creativity and live life to the fullest.

Connect with Chris via www.chrisassaad.com, Twitter and Facebook.

Chris has also joined the TDL team as one of our mentors. To learn more about the TDL Mentoring Program click here.
  • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

    Love it, Chris!!  Attitude and belief really is everything!  You’re so right that people’s “I can’t” excuses are just a cover-up for “I don’t want to.”  Most of the time I have to bite my tongue when I hear someone say “I can’t,” and sometimes I don’t.  ;)  

    A tiny example, just last night I was having dinner with my family and my aunt asked if I “can have a roll.”  I’m the known “vegan” in the family (though I don’t like labels and wouldn’t box myself in as “vegan” – just as a healthy, conscious consumer)… anyway… My aunt said, “Can you have this?”  It really bothers me, the word “can.”  And last night I chose to say, “I CAN, but I don’t want it.”  My aunt seemed a little put off by it, but oh well. 

    Right now my  personal “can/can’t” issue is making a living from my writing.  I know I CAN… so I’m making a choice to stick with it!  Keep writing.  Keep publishing.  It’s happening! 

    Thanks for the post!  :)

    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/02/i-want-treat.html
    http://www.amazon.com/Sarah-Noel/e/B009WNAZOC/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

    • chrisassaad

      Thanks for sharing your experience Sarah. Especially love “It’s happening!”. That’s one my personal mantras borrowed from “Almost Famous” (one of my favourite flicks). It IS all happening so keep it up! :)

  • Sandoradesu

    That’s wonderful Chris! Thank you for sharing your insights. I just wish people would begin learning these principles from a younger age so that they have the skills to deal with these things when they are older. 

    • chrisassaad

       I hear you Sando. Thankfully, there are more and more people doing their part to teach and empower children and youth. Perhaps this is a calling for you too?

  • Michelle Crowley

    Chris, how great!!  Congrats!   I’ve felt ‘the pinch’ as well and when I’ve passed that point I’m officially ‘on a roll’.  I love that part!  Thanks for sharing your success!  It gives me and many of us a boost!

    Love,
    michelle crowley

    • chrisassaad

       Thanks Michelle! It’s all about getting on that roll, that’s when the good stuff happens! Much love :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/karen.aranda.399 Karen Empowered

    What a wonderful site, I was referred here by a friend. This article in particular resonated something for me. 

    • Wendy

      Oh Chris, this is wonderful. Thank you!

    • chrisassaad

       Glad to hear Karen! Thanks for reading :)

  • Carol

    Amazing blog!! I am a total advocate for Alan Carr’s book!  IT WORKS! And, YES, it is EASY! This comes from a 17 year, self-proclaimed smoker of 1 to 3 packs a day! The only advice I choose to give is…read the damn book! It is not a “miracle cure” but it is simple, and it will be your CHOICE what you do with the information…so you can tell your FEAR (aka The Smoker) this…it will NOT be automatic once you read the last chapter or word of the book, so you can finish reading the book ;) , and the best part is you are NOT allowed to quit smoking until after you have read the book! HA…now why can’t you read it?…you have absolutely nothing to lose…and so much to gain! 

    xoxo

    • chrisassaad

       Amen to that Carol! Congrats on being smoke-FREE and thanks for helping to encourage others!

  • http://theuniverseandi.net/ Tanuja

    Great post, Chris!  Thank you!  It’s also so important to acknowledge and celebrate progress.

    • chrisassaad

      Thanks Tanuja! Yes, for sure. Celebrating and acknowledge our progress is definitely important too :)

  • guest

    A friend of mine told me that the reason we fail (start smoking again, gain weight, etc) is not because we don’t have willpower, it’s because we lose our focus. Makes sense as often when we achieve our goal, that’s when we slip back into old habits, because we’ve quit focusing on what we want to achieve. Life gets in the way and we start focusing on other issues.

    • chrisassaad

       I agree! Thanks for contributing that to the discussion!

  • Gbush7

    Thank you, I finally quit smoking 4 weeks ago. Your words are amazing!

    • chrisassaad

       Awesome!

  • RCP

    Hopefully this will be helpful to smokers: I smoked for 18 years - the first thing I did upon waking was to light up and the last thing I did before going to sleep was to have a last cigarette – to the tune of 1.5 packs a day. I tried quitting before, but the difference this time was that I was ready in my mind to quit. Sounds simple, but that really was it – I was ready to make the change. In my case, I used Nicorette gum, which helped curb the nicotine cravings until they gradually disappeared.  Before quitting, some ex-smokers told me I’d always crave cigarettes, which didn’t make quitting that much easier – but as it turned out, they were wrong. In the nearly 13 years since I quit, I’ve maybe craved a cigarette half a dozen times, but the craving always stopped after about 1 minute.  It’s more like it was before you started – they just stop being a part of your consciousness. The belief that you have to have them to handle life’s stresses is just that: a belief – and a false one. To repeat what Chris wrote above: You have to make the decision.  Not out of self-criticism or criticism from others, but because you want to do this for yourself. Remember that there was a time before you started to smoke when you didn’t even think about them.

  • Apalermosnyder

    Thank you Chris for this post!  I am a firm believer that the Uni-verse gives us what we need at the time that we need it and I needed to see your blog today!  I quit smoking 5 years ago this past November and I am so glad that I did.  Now that I look back on it it was easy, it was hard on me at the time dont get me wrong.  I have to somehow channel that energy I had 5 years ago and gather the strength that I once had.  It’s still there, I have just let life get in the way and now feel like I am addicted to stress and negativity.  Your blog made me realize that I have had it all along, I just lost it for a little while.. 

    Again, thanks so much!
    With love,
    Angelina

  • Jenny Sansouci

    Chris…you’re awesome. 

  • http://www.loveandfit.com/ LauraB

    Love this!!! I also am on that clean eating diet, stick to it! – Laura  http://www.loveandfit.com