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The Key To A Woman’s Heart

I think it’s safe to say that almost everyone on the planet has been hurt in a past relationship. If you haven’t yet, then you will at some point. Heart break happens. It will either be a personal relationship or a business partnership or a friendship. It’s not always in the love and relationship category, but many times it is.

Today I want to talk about trusting even after you’ve been hurt.

As a man, I believe that it is important to show up and to be consistent – to be THERE for your woman. I think that one of the most valuable things in the whole world is the heart of the woman you love. And I believe that it is a man’s duty as part of loving his woman to protect her heart and never let it break.

Ladies, how many of you have been hurt in the past? My guess it, most of, if not all of you. Because of this, it’s vital that we guys understand that you are protecting your heart.

I’ve learned that women really want a man who is consistent, who shows up for her and who doesn’t waiver. It’s a man’s grounded, single-pointed focus on following his purpose, plus showing up for his woman that proves to her that she can open to him. A woman just can’t open herself and give herself fully to a man she doesn’t trust. (Editor’s note: This article is written about “men” and “women” but applies to all relationships; if you are in a gay relationship, substitute “man” and “woman” for “masculine” and “feminine” energy. Each person occupies one of those energies, even in a gay relationship).

Given that many woman have been hurt in the past, many of them have closed down to protect themselves. This doesn’t mean they don’t want love. Au contraire. All women truly want is to be loved, to be seen, to be felt and to be INTIMATE. But none of those things are possible without first establishing trust.

This is why I think it’s important to develop a solid friendship and base before diving deep into sex (learned this one the HARD way).  I’ve seen that a woman who has been hurt in the past will sometimes rush to bed or have a fling with a guy that she doesn’t have feelings for. BUT – when there are feelings, when there’s chemistry, many times that is scary and she closes up even more. But really, deep down, I believe that she is waiting for the right man to see her, let her test him and to remain solid.

There is a fine line between what I just described and her not being into you. So know the difference.

But many times, amazing love could blossom on the other side of having patience and just showing up for her. When a woman gives her heart, it is her everything. It is so strong and capable of such love, but at the same time it is so fragile and can be hurt very easily.

So, today, don’t give up on her. Give into love. Get to know her. Don’t rush. Remember, when it comes to Love, sometimes the patient path is the fastest way. You can have amazing intimacy without sex. And when you build a friendship and intimacy up and let the energy build, you are preparing yourself to be in the most fulfilling, wonderful and sexually exciting relationship you could imagine. Sex without love is fun, but sex WITH love is Divine and the highest form of union between two people.

Call her bluff. See her hesitancy not as rejection but as a test to see if you are going to leave or stay. She will open up and give herself to the steadfast man whom she trusts. Be that man. Sometimes you have to fight for love. And sometimes you just have to show up, be present and let it emerge.

Love,

Mastin

  • TDLer

    I don’t want to leave TDL. I feel like I may as well be on your advertising team (lol). Every day I tell someone about this wonderful blog. I find inspiration from it and I am so grateful for this amazing way to start the day.

    However, there are many times that TDL saddens me. As an LGBT-identified person, I feel extremely shunned when posts, tweets, or blogs like the below are issued. This week, you made a tweet/fb post that said: “Fellas: many women have been hurt in the past, so your job is to be steady, consistent & to show up for her. She will give her heart to the man she trusts.”

    What about “fellas” who date fellas? Or women looking for love from another woman? Your LGBT or Queer followers and subscribers have to fight heteronormativity EVERY DAY of their lives. Why should you force them to fight it on the daily love?

    I am just giving you something to consider. You are isolating people like me who are your biggest champions and fans. I understand that you speak from your experience, but you don’t even ACKNOWLEDGE that we EXIST. It deeply saddens me.

    I hope you can at least find it in your heart to consider the feelings of people you are shunning to the margins.

    Otherwise, thank you for an inspiring site. It’s truly a gem.

    Only the Best Wishes,

    A loyal subscriber and reader

    • anonymous

      he is speaking to a male/female relationship (even with the editor’s note)– that was this blog. MANY if not MOST of his blogs are only inclusive. male/female relationships are the norm and he has more experience with them…. it happens. move on.

    • anonymous

      not ALL of his blogs are going to appeal to or include every single person that reads them.

    • anonymous

      i would feel very isolated if he wrote a blog on being gay, so i will remember to write in how upset i am that his blog didn’t include me and other straight people.

    • andrea

      for finding so much inspiration from him, and being such a big fan, it saddens ME that you could actually be upset about a FREE daily email that provides as much love as it does.. every.single.day. i mean really, if you have to skip a blog/quote/tweet or two here or there because you can’t relate, so be it. i do it, and i’m straight. he is a straight man- he is going to talk about straight relationships sometimes. think about it- it’s like asking him to start tweeting in spanish too lol. there has to be ways to take the “straight” quotes and make them your own in a way you could benefit.. here, i’ll help you out.. “ladies: many women have been hurt in the past, so your job is to be steady, consistent, and to show up for her. she will give her heart to the woman she trusts.” it works for ALL, i promise :)

  • TDLer

    (Editor’s note: This article is written about “men” and “women” but applies to all relationships; if you are in a gay relationship, substitute “man” and “woman” for “masculine” and “feminine” energy. Each person occupies one of those energies, even in a gay relationship).

    and on this, this is also very heteronormative. each person may not occupy a strictly masculine or feminine role.. we all have both inside of us at all times, not always evenly distributed. in fact, in a heterosexual relationship the man might have more “feminine energy” and the woman might have more “masculine” energy.. you cannot assume anyone’s gender identities or “energies.” again, i LOVE this site but i think it could be even more inclusive than it is.

  • soha

    I like it so so much it’s so true, I just want to add a very tiny thing that the women could not be hurt before by her self , It could be some one so close to her like a family member or a friend it does almost the same affect as if it was her own personal hurt
    thank you I enjoyed it.

  • Laura

    I jumped into sex very early with a man that I had so much in common (aka, me in pants) and because of his fear of commitment and the fact that we were becoming emotionally intimate rather quickly, he started to freak out and broke it off not long after. I sorely miss him. We dated for a while before sex and we really bonded on an intellectual level. Would there still be chance to fix that sort of mistake? He says he just wants to be friends. He’s a true sincere man. I respect his “freak out” incident because since he got divorced he has developed fear of commitment, something he told me right upfront and we had agreed to take things slow (failed beautifully) in order to not damage what we were developing. Thank you for reading this. Much love to you.

    • guest

      Did you two ever get back together? Did it work out?

  • Pingback: Monday Motivation |()

  • Cherry

    AWWWW. just stumbled upon this and am so glad i did! this is so sweet, true and inspiring at the same time. i wish more men understood this! :)

  • Ana

    Communication and honesty are very important in a relationship. It is a lot easier when we know what we want in life, to get it, then when we are not sure.
    If a person truly cares about another person, then s/he should tell the person how s/he feels. The worst thing that could happen is that they don’t feel the same way. If that happens, it means that somebody more compatible with you is waiting. (The universe has its ways of keeping us on the right path.)
    If we love a person and don’t let them know, we break our own heart.
    Miss-communication happens. If we truly care about somebody, we should try to explain ourselves better, when something we did or said was misunderstood. If the person cares about us, s/he will understand, if not, they are not the right person.

    Wishing you Love

    • javed

      if u help me . because ur a girl and ur understand about a woman feeling or also of a girl so i cant be a good friend with a girl and woman . please guide me dear .with beat regard.

  • AlwaysKlassy

    Now I don’t mean no harm but yeah he is speaking on HIS past relationships and experiences, also most of society are in heterosexual relationships. Gays are the minority, just like black, Mexican people. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to shun you guys he is just speaking words from his heart. I love this blog and keep doing what you are doing Mastin. To the people who are offended and no longer want to read the posts build a bridge and get over it. *No big deal, you want a gay blog then START ONE*

  • AlwaysKlassy

    @Laura I went through the same thing not long ago, we had an emotional bond very quickly before sex and I fell for him. Soon after he broke it off and I don’t know why so at least you know. We as women jump in head first while most men shy away from strong feelings. But I do think that your relationship can be salvaged just from reading your post. Let him know that you are willing to take it slower and understand why he feels this way.

  • angelica

    Beautiful and well said…love and trust are two very fragile things. You need to take care of it if you want to keep it. Love the greatest gift God can give.

  • Candy

    my friend’s mother told me that once before that everyone get hurt. That is so true you just have to learn how to pick u the pieces and keep moving. I think if we learn to look at each situation differently by separating the past form the present; our destiny will truly manifest.

    http://simplycandycane.blogspot.com/

  • Myself

    I get your point, but I don’t like the connotation:

    woman isn’t sure
    you show up
    still not sure
    you keep showing up
    ?????
    profit!

    I say the goal is to actively dismiss women if there is no sign of ignition. I agree on the idea of not rushing to the bedroom and getting to know each other first, but the idea of stepping up to the plate even though there is no ball coming is silly – who has time for women (and men) who don’t know what they are looking for?

  • M

    I found the Daily Love recently through a friend & I have to say I am enjoying it immensely!

    To simply describe my viewpoint- I am a lesbian with more “masculine” energy. The two articles, “The Key to a Woman’s Heart” by Mastin & “How to Approach Members of the Opposite Sex” by Tommy Rosen, are such a breath of fresh air. I enjoyed both so much & am happy to see that there are men out there who “get it”, how to basically treat a woman.
    There are too many men in our world today that have no idea what a woman wants or how to treat her. Unfortunately men have not had good role models to learn from. In our present society they learn from the distorted images of TV, movies, & music, where the woman is someone who is weak & is there solely to be used by the man & discarded when he is done with her. When, in fact, a woman is a powerful, needed part of the equation. She represents the feminine side of all creation, the soft, tender, nurturing side. The feminine is inside all of us, male & female, & to reject the feminine is to reject a part of yourself, whether you are male or female.

    A woman wants her “Knight in Shining Armor” to show up but too often what shows up is a “Nightmare in Shining Armor”. A woman needs to feel safe in a relationship so she can be vulnerable & allow the beauty of who she is out into the world. She needs to be honored again. I’m not saying that the responsibility of a healthy relationship is all on the man or masculine aspect. I am just commenting on the part of how a woman should be treated & what she needs in a relationship to feel safe & open up.

    I believe that part of the shift in consciousness that is happening now is learning to honor the feminine again. It’s bringing a much-needed balance back into our world.
    So thank you for your articles. You guys are great! Please keep sharing the positive, insightful words of wisdom. They are appreciated & needed!

  • Bricker1jesse

    Oh my god this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks a million. Now I know to never give up on winning her heart BACK. She and I have a beautiful baby boy together. And she just recently let me move back in with her strictly as a room mate to help with bills and being with my son while she’s at work. She’s emotionally detached from me right now and it hurts so much. And when I show her I’m hurt it pushes her away from me even more. The other day she told me she was sorry but she didn’t want to be with me and I know I can’t MAKE her love me. Even if I could it wouldn’t be right. Now I know that I have to be patients

  • Ibrahim malab

     My eyes Miss U, My Feeling love U, My hand Need U, My Mind Call U, My heart just 4 U. I will Die without U, Bcoz I Love U.
    If you truly love someone,
    then the only thing you want
    for them is to be happy
    even if its not with you.
    Don’t fall in love with someone you can live with, fall in love with someone you can’t live without. Love
    Kiss me and u will see stars; Love me and I will give them to u.
    I
    hoped you likes these sweet love messages, if you have any great love
    messages that you would like to share feel free to comment!
    It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

  • Wanderaojiambo

    she just brought to an end the most valuable thing i ever had. i have constantly showed up for her but she’s pushing me away on the grounds that she has a uterus infection and that the doctors say she might not have kids. am ready to take care of medication and even the emotional support but she still doesn’t want me around. she says this the end of us. what can i do? 

  • javed

    my comment is that how can i love with some one i dont understand please give some clearly information to me when i face to a woman or a girl then i forgive every things .please give advice

  • dee

    ,when you love some one only your heart can tell u when its over. love can only come from your heart. He or she can say things to question the love.

  • bradleyspeck

    HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK!!!

    Thank you for your article! It touches my heart deeply because I have recently went through something similar case .About 3 years ago my husband left me and 2 of our kids for 3years to another woman. During this years of our separation I was so broken, so I finally went to a friend of mine who directed me to a spell caster Dr. Akim who helps me in reuniting my family and then i felt peace and felt whole love again. After the casting of the love spell, My Ex-husband offered me a job, to work at his His company. so I obeyed and went. After working together in 1 week we had come closer & starting dating and hanging out as a family with the kids again, Dr. Akim has restored our marriage in a way I have NEVER expected, but I’m truly Thankful!

    Contact Dr. Akim today on: [email protected]

    Tel:+2348159645271

    Best Regards