The Possible Meaning Of Fleeting Feelings!

“So we were getting it on, like, fully, when I realized that he was … wearing his socks,” my girlfriend recounted to me.

We gave each other a united ewwww grimace.
“And that was it. I knew I was done.”

She left him because he left on his socks.
And she told him that. I can’t be with you. You make love with your socks on. I’m leaving. It’s all the reason I need.

Of course, that’s not the only reason she left. And she did him the service of filling in a few blanks.

Insight may come in a flash, but it’s the result of accumulated noticing – whether you notice it or not.

The ‘I just knew it’ moments in life are often triggered by little things. Annoyances, nuances, subtle incidentals – soft inklings so seemingly flip that we’re prone to discredit them.

Poo poo on that intensely intense but fleeting emotion – lovely or harsh.
Miff miff on that big vision that just cycled through your consciousness.
Pshaw on that white flash of passion–the lusty-love kind and the flare-of-rage kind.

But those spins and flashes and pangs are being felt because you’re ready to feel them – and they matter. The trick is to pay attention to them. Imagine sand streaming in an hour glass, each grain forming a pyramiding pile of sand. Until one grain punctuates the pile and the tall triangle collapses into a flatter triangle. It only takes one grain of awareness to shift everything.

Tipping point. Tipped.

Give credit to the small stuff you see and feel.
It might be a new possibility peeking through.
Assume meaning.

###

Danielle LaPorte is the outspoken creator of The Desire Map, author of The Fire Starter Sessions (Random House/Crown), and co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she writes weekly at DanielleLaPorte.com, where over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality”, and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes.

You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter @daniellelaporte.

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http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

I really like this post. It’s true. Life is full of lots of little things, and they all build on one another.

I remember the first date, or really second I guess, with this guy. He made a little noise (like a snort/laugh/huff, nasaly type of noise) in the car at the very start of the date. Immediately I thought, “I don’t know if I can deal with THAT for the rest of my live.” (Yep, I was ALREADY thinking if he could be “the one” for me, forever.)

I continued to date him, despite a couple minor red flags (he was still friends with his ex-wife to the tune that they texted regularly and hung out together with their group of friends…awkward, imo).

We worked through issues that came up (mostly centering around his invovlement with his ex… my issue or his… who knows…. probably both…), and stayed together a little over 2 years.

The attraction I felt for him did build since that first date, and since our first (very awkward) kiss. I really COULD see myself with him forever… I thought.

But then I started missing living alone. I found that I fantasized about him moving out. Not a good sign. Cut to the chase, he eventually did move out. BUT we continued to talk and see each other once a week or so. We were “being intimate” (sorry if that’s too much) once after he had moved out. He had initiated it, but I was ok with it. Well, similar to Danielle’s friend in the story, there was a moment during the experience where a switch was just flipped. (No, he wasn’t wearing socks.) Any physical attraction I HAD felt for him, any chemistry we HAD before, was gone. Poof.

It was all a building process though. From that very first, or second, date in fact. It’s funny to look back and see all the signs building, knowing now where it all ended up. It’s weird to think it’s been 2 YEARS. Huh….

Sarah
http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/02/just-stop-and-enjoy-view.html
http://www.facebook.com/tbow822 Tiffany Bowen

I never really thought about the little moments like that. I always dismissed such thoughts as unimportant, or not enough reason to walk away from something. I failed to see just how many times I had those little moments over time, and didn’t see them as a bigger picture. This was a great read to make me think about it more the next time I have a fleeting thought or feeling. Thanks for your insight!
Dgkassman

I’ve had moments like these in my current relationship….interesting, but I’m still involved…hmmmmm. This all reminds me of what my therapist told me a long time ago, “we can’t can’t know something until we’re ready to know it” and “trust your gut”.
Nelctz

WOW!! a lot of little moments are adding up for me. Thanks for the reminder that it’s alright to be feeling ‘em! Aaargh!!
Amanda

Love Love Love….
Shawn

I really like this, however reading it makes me want to bury my head in the sand even deeper and continue to discount and ignore all the signs that have been stacking up since day one of my four year relationship. I just know that if I intend better then all will be better, including him. I keep telling myself that. My last relationship was the same way and it lasted 19 years. Hmmmm….does anyone see a pattern?
- Linda
  
  Shawn- Just ended my 4 year relationship when my guy gave me a huge gift, in the way of the final and obvious straw. I had the courage even in my lowest suffering suffering at the time to send him packing. All of this I knew long before this episode, but it wasn’t bad enough on their own to end it. Don’t give this the best years of your life anymore.
Jettasmiles

I am on the other end if the spectrum, those feelings come and boom, he is gone. I am out of there. I will be honest and direct, but there is no changing my mind. It may seem irrational or like I’m a flake, it is just time to go when those things happen. I can be faithless to another so I can be true to me. It just doesn’t always look pretty.