In our confusion we search for love in this “other,” either by trying to find the “right” partner or we try to change them to make us feel that love we crave for, innocently setting ourselves up for failure, frustration and loneliness.
If love doesn’t show up in the people or in the ways we consider valuable, we deny it and the mind concludes that we’re either unworthy or that we’ve been rejected.
One of the greatest gifts is to stop and REALIZE that this longing for love is a wake-up call back home to our deepest Selves.
The apparent rejection of another is not what causes our suffering; it’s in having abandoned the truth of our own hearts that hurts.
If you slow things down to really investigate and trace back where the love that you experience is evoked from, you find that it’s within YOU! Love can be awakened by another, and that’s beautiful, but it is not given to you by them.
Let’s try something together. Think of someone in your life with whom you’ve felt absolutely loved and unconditionally accepted by. It could be a lover, a friend, grandparent, parent, or even a pet.
Take a moment to bring this person forward either as an image in your mind or as a feeling sensed in your body….now recall an experience with them when you felt so completely seen, accepted, loved and at peace…. soak in that for a moment…. (really take the time now)….let it fill your entire experience….
Can you feel it?? Notice how that same love is available now, even when they’re not here!
As you stay rooted within the source of this love that you are, you no longer cling to or try to demand it from another. It’s a love that is unconditional and free, generously overflowing and allows everyone to be as they are.
THIS IS THE DEEPEST LOVE – open, always available, vast yet intimate.
May you discover what is right here in your own heart and see that the entire world IS your valentine…and YOU ARE the expression of It’s Love.
Alyssa Nobriga is a renowned relationship coach who works with people through a mind-body-soul approach. She leads Wellness Retreats around the world, supporting people in living more open, authentic, loving, and fulfilling lives. To watch Alyssa working with clients check out her website or see her facebook link: https://www.facebook.