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To All The Parental Figures Out There (So, Pretty Much Every Adult!)

Do you have children in your life (whether your own biological children, step children, nieces, nephews, etc.) that you love and who love you and look up to you? I wonder if you realize the amazing power you hold to impact them in a positive way that will have a ripple effect into their awesome future.

Being mindful of this power is an important part of loving a child, since careless words can be powerful weapons.

Children who are brought up in a home environment where sharp criticism and cruel taunts are the norm internalize feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem. These negative self-beliefs are difficult to correct later on in life. Remember, cruelty breed’s cruelty. A child who is made fun of or called names or treated with disdain will become the bully his parents were. That’s the only way he knows how to survive.

Children are impressionable and vulnerable to harsh criticism. Their tender hearts and developing psyche are to be nurtured and protected so they can grow up to fulfill their greatest potential. A child who believes he is unworthy can spend an entire adult life proving his parents “right” with self-defeating choices or dangerous behavior.

I believe children are inherently good and deserve to be loved and cherished. In order for them to grow up healthy, physically and mentally, the caregivers in their life need to hold them in unwavering high esteem.

They are little human computers, downloading everything you say ABOUT them and TO them.

If you are struggling with raising kids or your own parents were abusive with their words and/or actions, you have an opportunity to do it better. Now is not then. There are many skilled family therapists who can help you, right now. You deserve support so you can be your best self as a parent.

I really like this website Positive Parenting, which is full of ideas and support. Check it out!

Have an amazing week and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love,

Terri

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Terri Cole, founder and CEO of Live Fearless and Free, is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. For almost two decades, Terri has empowered companies, celebrities, professional athletes and individuals to Live Fearless and Free. Follow Terri on Twitter @terri_cole.

  • Desi

    Without having  any solid parental figure in my life for the later years of my childhood-I often wonder how I’ll manage a child of my own. I certainly know that I’ll show up for the child, but it’s good to know there is support available for all those parenting “gray areas.” Parenting is an experience I want eventually-but it’s daunting to know how easily a child is effected. Thanks for bringing this to light.

    • http://twitter.com/terri_cole terri cole

      Desi, it sounds like you have a lot of awareness and clarity around your childhood and what you don’t want to replay – that is a huge positive step. You also understand the seriousness of being a parent, which will only make you a better parent, which will happen exactly at the right and perfect time. xoxo…