Trying To Find Your Purpose?

AlysssaNobriga Portrait 112412Has trying to find your purpose ever stressed you out? Do you feel some sort of pressure to make something meaningful with your life? When I heard people talk about their purpose, I would feel stressed and believed I was supposed to be doing something different or more with my life.

I thought that I needed to be clear about what that purpose looked like in the physical world. I then realized that by searching for this clarity, I was missing the life that was actually given to me as this present moment. I realized I had been missing the opportunity to express what was most important to me while I was searching.

What if it’s not as complicated as the mind makes it out to be?  What if in the larger picture, what you’re doing is not as important as how you are being while you are doing it and the quality of energy you are putting out into the Uni-verse? 

We are all hooked up differently to feel alive and sometimes it’s just about paying attention to what already lights us up. One thing that has helped me get clarity around this, and that I often recommend to clients, is having what I call a Joy Journal. It consists of taking some time every night to simply write down your favorite part of that day: this could be connecting with a coworker on a break, teaching a child how to ride a bike, or even being in nature or with animals.

Over time I was able to become more aware of the themes that spoke to me and I consciously created a job that brings in those elements and that feels aligned with my values. I knew I enjoyed connecting authentically with people, creating environments where people could more deeply discover who they are and ask meaningful questions.  I loved being a part of an inspiring community and I knew I loved Bali.  So… I created a Wellness Retreat to Bali and over the last four years have been leading groups there on an immersion retreat where we do yoga, daily meditation, we get massages, eat raw food, get inspired by each other and also express our creativity.  At the heart of these activities I could see that what I truly value is consciousness work, genuine relationships and supporting people.  It’s no surprise that I also work as a psychotherapist because these qualities are expressed in that work as well.

It’s not that my purpose is my work, but my work supports me in expressing what I hold as most important to me.  The invitation is to first clarify what you truly value.  If at the heart of things you hold important in life is love, then discover how love expresses itself in your life moment-to-moment, person to person.  Or if what you really value is service, then simply asking yourself everywhere you go, “How can I best serve here?” is a way of embodying your purpose.  Then watch as life unfolds by honoring what is truly in your heart.

You can trust that the intelligence that holds the stars and the galaxies in the Uni-verse is also orchestrating your life… you can rest in that.  A flower doesn’t know where it is going or its ultimate purpose, and yet it still blooms… something in it knows.

Goals are fine and if you already have clarity about a specific expression your life is taking, then follow that, assuming it’s aligned with your heart.  Just don’t get lost in the goal, thinking that getting “there” will somehow deeply satisfy you.  It’s easy to have the end in mind or believe you have a purpose and then lose sight of the other 90% of your life, brushing your teeth, driving to work, meeting people at the grocery store, etc.  This 90% is as much a part of life as the other 10%.  By mentally living in the future, we miss out on the opportunity to express what we truly value now.

Often what we actually deeply yearn for is the creativity and spontaneity that arises out of the present moment.  I invite you to enjoy this discovery as you let go of the stressful ideas about how you believe life should be, and experience the fullness of following what you truly value in your heart moment-to-moment.

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”  ~ Mother Teresa

In loving,



Alyssa Nobriga specializes in working with couples through a mind-body-soul approach.  She also leads yearly Wellness Retreats to Bali, supporting people in living more open, authentic, loving, and fulfilling lives. To watch Alyssa working with clients, check out her website, or to find out about specials, see her Facebook page. For a limited time she is offering 50% off Couples Counseling in Santa Monica & 10% off July’s Retreat to Bali by mentioning Daily Love.


  • It’s really just that simple…….

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      Yes it is lol

  • Harriet130

    Right on Alyssa! A wonderful reminder that it’s truly all about being more focused on the journey as that’s where the joy comes from.. Lovely! I thank you.

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      With pleasure…

  • Steven M

    Alyssa this was great to read as it hit my heart directly. There is a principal that I often embrace and that is “Bloom where you are planted”. I It goes along with your staement: A flower doesn’t know where it is going or its ultimate purpose, and yet it still blooms… something in it knows. I love it!

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      I love that too “Bloom where you are planted”. So simple. Sometimes the mind makes things complex 🙂

      • Steven M

        Look forward to sharing more….

  • The Joy journal is a fantastic idea! I actually started doing gratitude journal and when I read this I realized, what I was writing down wasn’t real. I was writing down what I thought I SHOUlD be thankful for, and not what I really enjoyed that day. I was wondering why wasn’t it working. Thank you so much for this article, it is hard to get A-ha moments these days for me, since most people say the same things over and over again 🙂 And I appreciate when I hear something new.


    • Alyssa Nobriga

      Oh I’m so glad it help you identify something in service to giving yourself permission to be more real with yourself and what actually does move you! Such wisdom within ourselves (even what we may consider bad) we just have to be willing to listen…Enjoy discovering what’s true for you 🙂

  • Alyssa,

    This is beautiful! It actually brought tears to my eyes… I resonated with it that much. I can tell, for one, that you are deeply aligned with your purpose. And that’s inspiring!

    Like the first paragraph you wrote, I used to feel (sometimes still do) stressed out about not knowing my purpose. About feeling like I should be doing something ELSE. Something greater. I was constantly searching. Constantly trying new things. I think it was good for me in the sense that I got out there and DID lots of different things. But I love what you say about missing the present moment, and all the joy and love that IT is (and the purpose of IT), by constantly searching and looking for something else.

    I’m learning now to be more present. I believe I HAVE realized my purpose — to help others see they can do anything in their lives. And I read somewhere else to ask yourself before you do anything, “Is this in line with my overall purpose?” If it is, then do it. If it’s directly contradictory to it, then perhaps you should reconsider if that thing is what you should be giving your time and energy to.

    I love your reminder to trust the Universe. It knows what it’s doing. And nature… as you said, flowers don’t freak out about whether it’s time to bloom or not… they simply bloom when it’s their time. It’s the Lao Tzu quote about nature. Something like this: “Nature doesn’t ever hurry, yet nothing is left undone.”

    Lastly, I LOVE how you created that Wellness retreat in Bali! To bring it all together like that, and put something like that together… that’s inspiring! 🙂

    In peace and Love,

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      Sarah I’m so glad this touched something in you. It sounds like you are giving time and attention to what’s most important to you and that’s beautiful. and I love that you see trusting how it all unfolds makes it more enjoyable, it’s just not required 🙂

  • Liz

    Love this. Thank you so much!

  • Vanessa

    I Love the JOY JOURNAL! I’m going to start that today <3

  • Karen

    You spoke to my soul. This resonated deeply within me. Thank you. Namaste. <3

  • tombunzel

    Nice! I find the work of Rupert Spira very helpful in seeing the illusion of artificial goals in the context of a “separate self” –

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      Yes I enjoy his work as well. My experience is that goals in and of themselves aren’t bad, actually they are necessary to build homes and such things. When we identify with a someone who is now doing something, that’s where it can get sticky in illusion- a separate self accomplishing.

  • Srose


    Wow! This really resonated with me, and I feel that I was meant to read this today. This is a feeling I have been struggling with for quite some time, and am finally coming to terms with!

    I have always felt that I am called to do something greater than the profession I’ve done most of my life (I work in business). I have learned to let go of the idea that I can force my purpose into being on any time table other than what the Universe ultimately has in mind for me. And, I whole-heartedly agree with you that WHO we are is the goal, and not WHAT we do, in this physical realm.

    However, I do yearn for the time when I can align my heart and spirit with my profession, in such a way that my “work” and my purpose are one. I find it frustrating at times, and am currently working on acceptance of being content in the present moment, knowing that my purpose will unfold with divine timing.

    Do you agree, or do you also think there is some amount of being proactive, and taking responsibility for changing direction or seeking a new course?

    I have been mostly focused on asking in meditation for answers, and trying to follow my intuitive knowing to guide my way. It has lead to some good insights, but now I feel I need to trust those insights to take steps forward (which is scary when it takes you down a new path; one on which you have no prior experience to draw from). Thank you for speaking to this subject! Much love.

  • Erika

    I just read this at the exact moment I needed to!!!!! Wow! It’s amazing how much the Uni-verse conspires with us when we allow it to :).

    Thank youuuuuu, beautiful Alyssa!

  • Love the idea of the Joy Journal. Thank you so much Alyssa!

  • Brooke

    love this article… inspiring & beautifully articulated.