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Want To Feel More Confident? It’s Way Easier Than You Think!

ChristineHasslerLast week in my women’s coaching circle, one of the women was sharing about a work situation and expressed that she “needs to work on being more confident.” She believed that she would be more respected in her company if she communicated like the other employees who she perceives as being more confident.

Can you relate? Are there situations in your life where you wish you felt more confident?

We have all had moments of mild to extreme self-consciousness where the feeling of confidence seems about as far away as Jupiter. Those awkward moments or instances where we feel judged by others often make us believe that we need to “work on” becoming more confident.

How have you “worked on” being more confident? Perhaps by taking public speaking classes? Rehearsing things you want to say in front a mirror? Getting a coach? Buying a new outfit?

While all those things are wonderful forms of self-support, feeling more confident actually takes way less effort. I explain in more detail in my vlog below, but here is the bottom line: the only reason that you do not feel confident is because you are judging yourself. Period. Really.

The instant you stop judging yourself and looking for all of the ways you should be more, better, or different you will experience confidence. You do NOT feel confident because you are not accepting yourself fully for who you are.

Let’s break this down by reviewing the actual definition of confidence:

- A feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something

- The feeling of being certain that something is true

- A feeling or consciousness of one’s powers

You do not need to go dredging through your past to find some issue where you had confidence triggered out of you. You do not need to buy another self-help book or enroll in another course to feel more confident. Instead, lean into the certainty you have about your gifts and skills. Be certain that all qualities you love about yourself are more than enough. Feel your own very special powers that make you uniquely you. Rather than collecting evidence about what you judge as missing or different, step more fully into the truth of who you are.

Please, please stop measuring yourself up to other people to determine who you should be or how you should act. And paaalleeezz stop putting what other people think of you above what you think of yourself.

Self-acceptance is at the heart of feeling confident. The best way to “work on” feeling more confident is to be certain of your gifts and truth by fully accepting yourself. And then you can buy that a new outfit simply because you like it – not because you expect it to make you feel a certain way (that’s a lot of pressure to put on an outfit!!).

Only you can be you. So stop judging yourself and working on yourself and go BE you because you’re awesome.

Love,

Christine

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p.s. Does your life feel like all work and no play lately? Then I have the perfect solution for you… come play with me for five days in Mexico. Go here for details about my next retreat.

Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it?  You can check out her website here.

  • Dee

    Loved this. So true. So simple.

    • The Daily Love

      Simplicity at its finest :) Glad you loved it, Dee! -Team TDL

  • Talya Price

    Great article. The Universe is really speaking to me today.

    • Christine Hassler

      The Universe definitely has a way of doing that ;) We just have to listen…

    • The Daily Love

      Wonderful to hear, Talya! Have a great day :) -Team TDL

  • Guest

    This really resonated with me. Thank you.

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you so much for reading :) -Team TDL

  • Tal

    I really needed to hear this today. For most of this year, I have gone in circles trying to find the confidence I lost in myself. Your article reminded me that the solution has always been here within me all along. Thank you, Christine!

    • The Daily Love

      We are so glad Christine’s article was able to help you come to that realization! Best wishes, Tal! -Team TDL

      • Christine Hassler

        My pleasure Tal, you never lost your confidence – it was just hidden under judgment. Believe me, I can SO relate. I spent years trying to find confidence outside myself in a job, person, image, etc. It was such a relief to realize it was much closer than I thought ;)

  • http://www.sarahdizney.com/ Sarah Noel

    I love this, Christine! Thanks! :) I fall into that comparison trap far too often. I see others in my profession apparently having way more success, or having it faster, than me. And I doubt myself and my abilities. I’m working on this. :)

    I try to remind myself (and I do believe this), that just the right things happens FOR US at just the right time. So if I didn’t get a job or land a client… it only means THAT job/client wasn’t right for me. And a better one is on its way.

    That doesn’t mean it’s not difficult to “wait” for your ship to come in… But trusting the Universe is imperative. And focusing on your good traits, things you like about yourself, parts of your life that you love, and sometimes refusing to even LOOK at other people who you feel, in some way, are “better” than you, is what you need to do. At least I do.

    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/11/get-out-of-past.html

    • Christine Hassler

      Yes and your career means NOTHING about who you are or your value…be mindful of not falling into the thinking that you are waiting for things to happen to you or for you. You are enough exactly the way you are right NOW.

    • The Daily Love

      Such great insight, Sarah! The right things WILL happen for you! We know how difficult it can be to wait, and we’re so glad you have such a great head on your shoulders. -Team TDL

  • http://www.akirahrobinson.com/ Akirah Robinson

    Best video of yours that I’ve seen thus far. And your vids are all pretty good. ;)

    Thanks!

    • Christine Hassler

      Thanks!! ANd if you have any topics you’d like me to cover or suggestions, Akirah, please let me know :)

    • The Daily Love

      We’re so glad you enjoyed it so much, Akirah :) -Team TDL

  • Lissette

    I have been unemployed for 4 years now, and 2 years ago I started actively pursuing finding a new job. I eventually felt that I needed to go back to school and become certified. I graduated this past May and began putting out resumes in this field. I had a very good externship and thought for sure I would be hired by that company. Well, their policy was to first pass a “personality” assessment. I have always enjoyed going to school and have been an A student, and I passed my certification exam in the 99th percentile. My confidence has been so low that I did not want to rate myself with high scores on this assessment because I felt like I would be bragging. So, I scored the questions in the middle range. Low and behold, I did not pass the assessment and therefore could not get an interview. I was told that my answers were too wishy-washy. Two weeks ago, I went into another interview.. this time I felt very confident because I used my last experience to really take a good look at who I am and what I have to offer in that profession. The interview felt good, I did not come off cocky, only self assured and confident. I was told that a decision for a second interview would be made 2 weeks from the interview. Well, tomorrow is that 2 week marker. So, if I am not invited back for this interview I will know that the Universe has something greater for me in mind! That I am confident about.

    • The Daily Love

      You have such a wonderful attitude, Lissette. We’re sure you will find the job that is deserving of you very soon :) Best wishes! -Team TDL

  • Ky

    Love this!