I often find that people are very hard on themselves and seem to easily focus on what they consider their flaws and weaknesses to be. When we focus on these things, we obviously will have a very hard time feeling empowered and be able to heal and live a happy life.
Sometimes we just need to be reminded to give ourselves a break. I can’t tell you how many times I have been sitting across from someone with tears pouring down their cheeks as they verbally express feeling like a failure. They speak of their day-to-day lives — getting upset with their children, feeling disconnected from their spouses, expressing impatience with a pet, or disappointed that they are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. The amount of pressure we can put on ourselves truly blows me away sometimes.
For us to be able to enjoy ourselves, we need to stop pushing ourselves to be “perfect”. “Perfect” doesn’t mean that we only feel positive feelings. “Perfect” means that we allow ourselves to feel the whole spectrum of human emotions — and remind each other that we are truly doing our best at all times.
We are human. Feelings will come and go.
Let’s trust in the process a bit more instead of pushing ourselves out of fear that the “negative” feelings aren’t going to shift. They will. Everything always shifts. If we take pressure off and stop shaming ourselves to be different than we currently are, things will shift more quickly. I promise.
Sometimes we need to remind each other to be gentle, understanding, and kind to ourselves. Sometimes we need to be reminded that feelings come and go — and that we have a lot going on that is consistently affecting us. We need to be reminded that perhaps we don’t need to fix the way we feel — but instead need to breathe and give ourselves a BIG break! We need to remind each other that we are loveable exactly as we are right now. Imagine that!
Imagine giving yourself a big break and knowing that exactly as you are, right now, you are loveable and deserve to enjoy your life. You don’t have to act and feel a certain way all of the time. Imagine giving yourself a break to be nothing short of human. What would it feel like if you didn’t feel like there was so much about you that needed to be fixed? What would you feel like if the fear of being stuck in an emotion would be lifted and you could trust that everything changes? Change is the nature of life!
Breathe. As we remember to breathe, we are reminded to trust. As we remember to trust, we give ourselves permission to enjoy our lives exactly as they are right now.
I am not justifying people ranting and raving with an excuse that they are “just being human”. You know your nature. You are a kind-hearted being. Please be gentle with yourself. You aren’t going to make excuses for negative behavior. I am not asking you to do that. I am asking you to be gentle with yourself because somewhere in your life you have learned to be very, very hard on yourself — and that way of being is a quick way to get absolutely nowhere.
This journey of life we are on is quite a beautiful experience if we remember to relax — and take the pressure to be perfect off. There is nothing wrong with you that needs to be fixed. (Tweet-worthy!) Please remind yourself of this every single day. When you are getting ready in the morning, look in the mirror and say with conviction, “There is nothing wrong with me. I commit to giving myself a break”. How does that feel when you express those words out-loud?
How would it feel if the next time you felt an uncomfortable or negative emotion you took a breath and said to yourself, “Of course I feel that way — and I’m going to give myself a break!”?
I guarantee you — as you get into the habit of being gentle with yourself, you will notice a very profound shift. To each and everyone of your Hearts — be ever so gentle and kind to yourself today.
From My Heart to Yours,