San Quentin State Prison
I totally believe how one handles rejection is a matter of perspective: how one sees themselves, the motives behind getting their needs met, and is it a want or a need? Psychological and emotional development has a lot to do with how our perspective is formed based on low self-esteem or too much pride.
The best way to handle rejection that consistently works is building your self confidence. If we look at the “core issue” with handling rejection, it’s not about you being turned down for the job, date, marriage proposal or pay raise, it’s truly about how you feel about yourself after and where are those feelings coming from? For example, when I applied for my first job, I assumed that I would get the job so I started spending the money in my head before I had the job. I got my bubble burst when I was told that I was not picked. My devastation stemmed from the wrong motive I had with expectations of spending the money that wasn’t even mine yet to spend. The rejection of not getting the job triggered my abandonment issues, causing me to embrace my low self-esteem and fear of applying for another job. How did I handle it? I handled it by surrounding myself with good family and friends who believed in me and continued to encourage me. But even that wasn’t enough because until I started believing in myself and having the courage to step out on faith with persistence, sooner or later I got my heart’s desire.
The other issue with handling rejection is most people don’t want to wait for the later, because pride and expectations always want the sooner. How do we handle this? By having enough confidence in yourself to know that with persistence, life has never failed you. We only fail when WE give up. So, the next best way to handle rejection is to never give up. If one job says no, try for another until you get what you want. If the date turns you down, continueto work on his/her heart or someone else’s until you get a yes! The key is no matter what, believe in yourself! and continue to work on your self-confidence. Life has a way of allowing us to learn from the psychological and emotional stress that comes from handling rejection we may not think or feel we need at the time, but suddenly our motivation for life gets strengthened and we find ourselves back in the cycle of life that come with handling rejection in better ways than we thought we could all because our confidence level has risen. There’s no better way to handle rejection than to believe in yourself, be confident and never give up!!!
All communications between inmates and external channels are facilitated by approved volunteers since inmates do not have access to the internet. This program with Quora is part of The Last Mile San Quentin. Twitter: @TLM