Get world class free training to discover your purpose when you pick up a copy of Mastin's new book! → Check it out!

What Are My First Steps To Conquering Fear & Isolation?

Drew ParalesDo you get fearful or scared a lot? Ever have that feeling of you just don’t know what to expect next? You keep moving through life, making strides, then suddenly you feel like you don’t know where you are, you feel slightly removed from everything, your work place and sometimes even your own home? Wait- I think I’m talking about me. ;) Read on!

You know I have been plugging along now for some time doing the things I am doing for work. My private coaching practice with iLOVE Liberation and my school job as a case manager.

I feel like I have been doing this for so long, and honestly I have. But there are times during my days where I feel fearful. Not that someone is going to come along and whack me over the head… No!

Sometimes I feel like I do not belong. I feel like a stranger sometimes in my own environments! Don’t get me wrong. It’s still very familiar, and I know my way around. (I am not THAT gone yet.) ;)

Want the real truth? It’s just sometimes there are many moments during my days where I feel very isolated. Sometimes lonely.

Especially since some day in the near future, I plan on taking iLOVE full-time and saying goodbye to the school job that has provided me security for 20 years. And I feel weird even saying it out loud or admitting to it.

I feel like a bit of a misfit lately! I don’t feel cast out though. Just a little different than I used to. My support system of friends still surround me that’s for sure! (Love you guys!)

But I think I am beginning to morph and transform once again. This time the effects of change seem to be lingering longer.

I have stepped so far into striving for my dreams to come true of having a mentoring and teaching practice, that its part of my DNA now. Each time I think, “I can’t do this”, there is this stronger voice that screams, “It is too late now! There is no turning back!”

Yeah. I’ve touched many people lives, and they have inspired me. I know that I can’t just stop. I mean I could. But that would be the death of another dream, and I am just not willing to risk that.

So here I am on the verge of this change, doing things and revealing parts of my life to the point where I recognize that I have NEVER been so honest. And quite frankly, it is downright scary.

And because of these feelings, it brings on all this fear, and uncertainty. Most of all an insecurity that I thought I left behind long ago.

The things that used to be part of the make up of who I was, no longer serve me. Then I turn around, and look toward the path of my future and it is exciting! Yet unfamiliar. And the scariest part is, I don’t know where it will go, or where it will take me.

There are these HUGE parts of me that are being drawn to it. I have this innocent, childlike curiosity that is wanting me to go. And the grown up part of me going, “Hey, don’t look back.”

When I get honest with myself, like I have been some time now, I begin to realize that there were so many things that I tolerated because I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t think I could have the great things in life and that somehow I deserved to be treated poorly.

When I get honest with myself, I begin to see that I became so comfortable with the way things were, I didn’t know that I was spinning out of control and blaming other people for my bad circumstances and my crappy moods.

So now that I am in the middle of this life change, looks as though I swapped feeling helpless and having low worth to having promise and uncertainty. WOW- that’s a change. But still… scary.

So what I am doing to help with these growing pains, uncertainty and fear?

Well, the VERY first step that gets me through (in addition to the usual positive thinking) is having something to look forward to! I take ACTION! So I make plans. Commitments to myself! For example:

I have made a commitment to myself that I would run the Walt Disney World Marathon in February 2015. I start training in November!

I have made road trip plans with my good friend Katherine to go to Sedona. (My favorite place in the whole wide world!)

I am starting to look at purchasing a new car. That RADICAL convertible I have been dreaming about driving through the desert. (Cuz it ain’t getting dropped off in my drive way by Santa any time soon!) :)

I plan to spend time and to go to Disneyland more often. The Magic Kingdom brings out that innocent kid in me that loves Tomorrowland!

I have made the commitment to have video footage shot of me and of my live class event iLOVE In The Park to help promote and share with my local community.

I have made the commitment to work with another teacher to teach my breathing and meditation techniques to the students in my school.

I have been leaning on my support system! Making dinner plans with them and asking for their guidance and getting real about what I need, and give them a chance to lift ME up. You know, let them Love me and admit I am not always strong.

See what’s happening here? When I have adventures to look forward to, especially those that I have been “talking” about doing but never did, there is this sense of relief. There is this sense of accomplishment.

There is this sense of great anticipation that I get to experience that I have missed feeling since I was a kid! When I take the time to know that I have to get moving, and get my life in gear then actually take the steps to build my life, the fear begins to dissipate and I bring myself out of isolation.

I feel more in control of what will be happening and I get to steer the ship that is my life.

When you begin to realize that your life and the way you feel about it is in your hands, there is sense of courage and accomplishment that helps you to dare greatly. And yet, being daring in it of itself comes with fear. (Tweet-worthy!)

But without that fear, my life would not be changing. I would not be experiencing Love the way that I do. I would not have been able to release the situations and people who I depended on to make me happy.

I would not be attracting and magnetizing the awesome people in life that I am now, if I didn’t risk moving out of my comfort zone.

Having something to look forward to means you have a great life experience ahead. Whether its going to Disneyland or making the steps to leave a life long career to pursue a dream.

Think about how when you don’t have anything to look forward to how drab and uninviting life can be, and really… ALWAYS WILL BE.

The great news is that you and I get to be in control what WE get to experience in life! Fear will always be something that we have to face whenever we want change. New things always invite uncertainty like walking into your new class at the beginning of the new school year in the 5th grade! (Remember those days?)

Well we still experience those kinds of days, but now we call it “Adult Life”. There will always be something new to face but as an adult I think we have too many choices.

And many times we choose NOT to experience something, BECAUSE of the fear. THEN what happens? Life becomes just another day. You know what I am talking about..

If you have been feeling fearful and isolated, be courageous and reach out! Start letting go of the fear and loneliness, by making plans, spending time. Doing things that bring out the best in you and leave behind the mind-set of isolation, even just for a little while. TO START.

I am not talking about distracting yourself. I am talking about taking the first baby steps toward the bigger actions in life that will help you break through and live in happiness and in your dreams. And it all starts with planning out your life, one step, one trip, one dinner, one exciting adventure at a time.

Because when you feel like YOU have more control over your own life, it opens up the door for you take the leap towards making your happiness and dreams come true… NOW GO! I believe in you…

So what kind of fear have you been experiencing fear lately? What steps haven’t you taken to make things happen in your life?

What plans and exciting adventures have you been putting off embarking on because some fear paralyzes you? What can you do RIGHT NOW, to take charge of your life and make a difference in it? Let me know in the comments below…

All my Love and LOOKING FORWARD to hearing from YOU!

Love,

Drew

###

Andrew “Drew” Parales is the Creator and Mentor/Coach of “i LOVE Liberation” specializing in Personal Growth and Fitness! He is also a vocational rehab educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, and the school site program events coordinator/trainer. Connect with Drew at: www.iLOVEliberation.com and on Facebook: iLOVELiberation and Twitter:@iLOVEliberation

  • Nila

    This is so relevant for me :) I’ve been dealing with A LOT of uncertainty and it’s bringing up strong feelings that I’m not sure how to deal with. I’m doing a lot of meditating, praying and affirmations. Great insight here!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      WHOOPS!! :) please see my reply to you below Nila… I tend to hit the wrong buttons… lol
      Much Love, Drew

  • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

    Hi Nila!
    Im so happy that you came away with something from this… Uncertainty is part of the package deal when we move into areas that are unknown, yet we are called to do. Keep up with your rituals and practice! It will help you to stay connected no matter what you are going through and help you walk through that fear instead of avoiding it. ;) Thank you SO MUCH Nila! Let me know how you’ll be doing!
    Big Love, Drew xo