What Are You Reading Too Much Into?

TriciaHuffmanToday,  I got into a bit of a scuffle with a friend who is very dear to me.  Someone, I cherish and look up to.  All because of a text message.   I wasn’t fully awake yet and replied to a text message without emotion.  There was a short back and forth and she was making up that I was upset.  I said no, it was probably just the context of the text and we agreed to talk later, not over text.  She called but I was in the middle of something and texted back I would call in a few minutes.

I called and got no answer, so I figured I would call again later.   I few hours later, I listened to her voicemail and was shocked to hear that SHE was really upset and hurt, and shocked by texts.  WHHHHAAATTT?!!?! Hold your horses, lady!  I called her immediately and thank goodness she answered.

I, with love and understanding, explained that my texts were simply without emotion this morning.  I said, I realize that you are used to my texts starting out with “Hey Love!” or something sweet and this morning none of that sweetness was included. I, myself, being human am a queen of making shit up and reading too much into everything, so I handled this misunderstanding with compassion and love, making sure that love was restored and that we both felt understood.

It is so easy to read into things!  Last week, I noticed myself getting all worked up because a close friend had replied to a text message with, “Fun!”.  I seriously, got a little aggro.  Fun? Fun! What does she mean by that?  Did she even read my text?  What is she trying to say?  Hahaha.  I don’t even remember what I had sent her.  I caught myself immediately, luckily, I am very well trained in calling myself out on my own shit, I even made a video about it a few years back.

Yet another example, this weekend, my boyfriend and I got into a big fight because he warned me that I have to be careful what I say to  his neighbor, who he shares a backyard with.  He explained that the neighbor analyzes everything to death and then makes up a story about what he thinks you say and tells everyone what he has mad up.  I laughed, and was like, yeah, WE ALL do that.   We are all constantly reading too much into things and spinning stories about it.  We take what we make up as the truth and then mix our own emotions, and past experiences in.  Then we believe our made up stories and spread it to anyone who will listen.

We got into an argument because he didn’t think I got it.  How serious of a matter this was.  That I really needed to watch what I say, and not only what I say but my body energy, everything.  He reads into everything!

Yes!  I get it!  He is not the only one!  We all do it.  We are always making shit up about what is said, or not said, what has been done, or not done.

It is really an exhausting way to live and I do not know how to stop others from doing it, except by making it known that it is something that we all do.  It is something to be conscious of.   Pay attention to the stories that you are making up.  Pay attention to where you may be reading into things. (Tweet-worthy!)

Also be aware that others are doing the same thing.  I was able to clear up my misunderstanding with my dear friend this morning because I had the compassion and understanding that she may have read too much into my text.   I know what it is too read into things and get worked up.  I know what it is to make shit up.

So, it is time for you to call yourself out.  What are you reading too much into?  What are you making up?

Love,

Tricia

###

Tricia, Your Joyologist,  is a student of life and a teacher of living.   She works with everyone from Grammy Award winning artists to stay at home moms to cultivate a greater self-love and to keep them in integrity with who they want to be in the world and for themselves.  She is also a Certified Holistic Health Coach and Yoga Allicance Certified yoga instructor. Connect with Tricia on FacebookInstagram and Twitter.

  • Jaime Greenberg

    I have most definitely been there! On both sides. Thank you– it feels good to know I’m not alone in being human. 🙂

    • Tricia aka Your Joyologist

      You are most definitely not alone!

  • andy

    Boy, does this ever ring true. Try a long distance relationship where emails, text and skype are the sources of communication. Lots of opportunity to screw up on this front – from both sides too. Thanks for the topic.

    • Tricia aka Your Joyologist

      Glad you enjoyed it Andy!

  • Janet

    I am fairly new to the email and facebook world. I just got my ipad a year ago and had to get used to all the messaging instead of phone calls . Hearing the voice is much easier to understand the emotion in the messages. If I read the message hearing the persons voice in my head,I can usually get a better feeling of the way it was intended.xo

  • Melisa

    Hie I am one of those people who do that , I can spend 30mins or more sometimes trying to analyze what a text mean and I always look out if the pet names are included, if they are not I automatically think that they is something wrong lol , but since reading your msg I think I have turned a corner yippee

  • This is SO me…so I always try to stay self-aware about it and just like you, I try to meet my friends with compassion if they’ve misunderstood me! We read too much into things because we desperately want “control” and want to know what our ‘position’ is with the other person…but at the end of the day if we’re just real and stay mindful it goes a long way!