Falling in love has been getting a bad rap recently. Supposedly more sophisticated types suggest that falling in love is an illusion, a state of non-reality because it is based on failure to see the love object as a “real” human being. According to the view, “real” love sets in only at the end of infatuation. A beautiful smile or dreams of greatness, for instance, are not considered as real as one’s tendency to squeeze the toothpaste from the top of the tube.
From an illumined perspective, falling in love is not neurotic but rather one of the few genuinely nonneurotic things we do on this earth. Falling in love is an effort to retrieve Paradise, that dimension of bliss where no one is blamed for anything and everyone is fully appreciated for who they are. When we fall in love, we drop for however brief a time our tendency to judge. We suspend our disbelief and eschew our faithlessness in another human being.
What usually happens after that is not that we finally wake up to reality. What tends to happen after that is that we fall asleep to reality. We cannot wake up to our brother’s imperfections, because the perception of imperfection is itself a non-awakened state. Our spiritual perfection is not altered by our imperfect personalities. Seeing perfection is seeing the light. Falling in love is not an illusion, as much as falling out of love is a fall from grace.
What we see when we fall in love is not illusion but truth. We want to fall in love because we want so much to return to God. Of course we want to escape this darkened world. We want desperately to go home to a place where all of us can see how beautiful we are.
Some people say that falling in love is a state of denial. It is, actually. In love, we are in a positive denial: a denial of darkness. What then occurs is that we start to believe the serpent’s lies – we begin to see good and evil: “I like him, but he doesn’t make enough money” or “I like her, but she’s too high maintenance.” Spirit has celebrated how wonderful they are; now the negative mind gets to celebrate how guilty they are. Guilt is the ego’s orgasm.
Most people do not have the personality structure to hold on to the strength it takes to love without judgment. And so love’s magic dies, casting Adam and Eve out of Paradise.
As our minds are illumined, we become better at romance because we become better at being human. We become better at forgiveness and support and love. The enlightened world will not be one in which no one ever falls in love. The enlightened world will be one in which everyone is in love with everyone all the time. There will be no judgment, therefore no blocks to the awareness of love. We will see each other as God created us: as the perfect, loving and lovable people we really are at our core. The purpose of romantic love is to jump start our enlightenment.
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Marianne Williamson will delve deeply into the romantic mysteries in her February 17-19, 2012, workshop in Los Angeles called THE ENCHANTED LOVE WORKSHOP: Building the Inner Temple of the Sacred and the Romantic. Live streaming available. Go to www.marianne.com for details.