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What if YOU are the solution the world has been waiting for?

January 31, 2013 by 119 Comments

mk_treesWell, it’s been two days since I found out that my friend Jody passed on. I found out that he took his own life. This broke my broken heart even more.

As you read this, I am in Jamaica for the Caribbean Yoga Conference, and I am here to speak about purpose.

I am in paradise, and yet, my heart mourns. Jody’s passing, along with Aaron Swartz’ recent passing, have both been a huge wake up call for me.

You see, I live in a “personal growth” bubble. My girlfriend Jenna and I are always in service. Our friends are, too. And our friends’ friends are. People that are attracted to what I do have the personal growth gene; they Love this stuff.

But, I am sobered in remembering that not everyone has the benefit or privilege to be able to do what I do and be immersed in this lifestyle.

I can’t help but think that one conversation with Jody, one more Loving email, a talk, could have prevented this huge loss. He had so much going for him. Awesome company. Amazing wife. Everybody loved him.

And yet, something was missing. What was it? I will never know, but what I can tell you is that something is stirring in me. I cannot sit idly by and watch my friends do this to themselves (this is my second friend who has taken their life).

I’m not sure what it is yet, but I am feeling the desire to bring these personal growth modalities and heath-based practices to the tech space. To assist the visionaries. To assist those who are pushing us forward. I cannot sit back knowing what I know and let this keep happening.

Death is not a topic that is popular. Considering the number of comments my blog yesterday got, not many people like to engage around the topic. I understand that you come here for inspiration and upliftment. I need it, too.

But if we cannot look at the dark side as well, then we are not seeing the full picture. I know this is not something that is limited to tech. This is a much bigger problem, but it seems like this is a space where I can have more influence immediately, since I am an Internet site founder/CEO as well as a personal growth practitioner.

This is one of those moments where I need to take my own advice: “The problems you see in the world are there so that you can solve them.”

The only reason someone takes their own life is because they believe that the future will not be as good as the present or the past. They have given up hope that a compelling future exists.

Whether it does or doesn’t, as we know, is totally up to the individual, because life is a reflection of what we make it.

I’m not sure where this will go, but if you are interested in helping with this, know about tech, etc., please leave a comment and let’s start the discussion.

Let’s help to inspire our visionaries and entrepreneurs!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

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  • dee

    Mastin, I didn’t leave a comment on yesterday’s blog, not because I’m afraid of the dark stuff, but bcos I didn’t feel I could not relate in some way. I guess I see into ppl, & I’ve never viewed someone with a lot of ‘stuff’ as being happy. Ever. I’ve seen it too many times. I don’t mean this in judgement or anything mean, but a part of me didn’t really resonate with yesterday’s blog…as I read over it of course I had sympathy for all that was happening but I felt more saddended that this man whom I had never even heard of had this exterior view painted about him that he seemed to have it all, when clearly if ‘stuff’ made you happy then this would not have happened. I hope my comment reflects my beliefs lovingly & not in judgement, but I felt more sad that another human being, be he rich or poor, who had a wife who loved him regardless of anyone’s title or career, took their own life. Period. I don’t find it more sad that a man who works at a biscuit factory all his life per se, takes his own life for reasons of unhappiness then someone who supposedly contributes to life differently is not as equally loveable or contributing. From the eyes of a mothers love, it’s just that. Pure love and not the ‘stuff’. There is nothing wrong with being financially secure, but I’m around & have been around fairly financially rich ppl who are very unhappy, & if you ask me, it’s a lot of those people that need love the most & that’s the super sad part…in my life experience I have found as a rule of thumb, the more the money, the bigger the problems. It is incredibly saddening & heartbreaking that ANY human being feels that much despair that they take their own life, when there are so many other ways to overcome your problems. I just focus on the good things then, like thanking God for the beautiful gifts they bestowed on the world, be it apparently big or small, everyone matters & is accounted for. For this reason I feel saddened. That any human being big them big or small, saw no way out when love is all around us.

    • Guest

      Perhaps you might consider that not everyone is blessed with the ability to see the way you do. I speak from “the dark”.  I am in the dark right now. I can see it. I have been through more modalities of help than most people. Yet life is still a struggle for me. Knowing there is love all around is not enough when you can’t feel it coming back to you.

      • http://thejourneytolearnacceptance.blogspot.com/ Nina

        I think “the dark” is the go-to hiding place for the ego, so that’s completely natural and normal. I spent most of my life there, myself. Unfortunately the best bet to see some light through cracks in your walls of fear is to be presented with a situation that isolates one of your fears. I was lucky enough to have that happen. When everything else about a situation is comfortable, and just one piece of it is driving you nuts, that’s the crack in the wall. When you can isolate just one of the fears, you can really wrap your head around what’s happening, and it gives you the space to not attack a whole bunch of issues, and really just makes you curious about that one fear, such that you have a desire to learn more. At that point, you have a choice. You can choose to know that you have other fears that need the same TLC that you are giving that fear, and suddenly you are on the path to light and love.

        I hope that helps!

        Much love,
        Nina
        http://thejourneytolearnacceptance.blogspot.com

      • http://twitter.com/LivingUrBliss Bliss Magazine

        Perhaps that is why we should meet people where they are and not where we are. Maybe we should seek to understand first before being understood. Love and Light to you.

      • Dee

        Dear Guest,

        I’m sorry that you misinterprete my comment . The only reason why I have empathy is bcos of my own darkness I had to overcome….this hindsight has given me some insight….and THIS is what saddens me…that someone didn’t make it through. It could have been me. It could have been you. Makes me feel what a waste of life be them apparently big or small. I do my best to see into ppl to meet them where they are at only bcos I’ve had my own battles to face. I care a lot about human kind, treatment of animals etc. No need me explaining that. A great analogy that I would visualize to get ‘out’ was Quentin Tarrantino’s Kill Bill Vol 11… Uma Thurman in the coffin buried underground with all the shht piled on top. You think that its all over, you could give up, but you chip away at it slowly, bit by bit until you make it through. it’s your problem if you cannot see that I’m not looking down on anyone. I hope you make it through, like many ppl before you have too.

    • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

      Well said, Dee.  I couldn’t agree more!  I also notice that people with a lot of “stuff” put on an AIR of being happy and “having it all” but inside they’re miserable.  Or at the very least, not fulfilled, not living in love.  I’m not saying this was necessarily true in this case (like you, I didn’t know of this person).   But I’ve always felt that the more a person feels they “need” stuff, the less happy and content with who they really are.  They’re not in touch with their spirit, if they feel they “need” to buy/do/have (expensive) stuff in order to be happy.  Again, not a commentary about anyone in particular, just something I’ve noticed about people in general. 

      Sarah
      http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/01/and-were-back-in-game.html

  • http://www.robinhallett.com/ Robin Hallett

    HI Mastin,

    YES – I am fully in to help people by being authentic and shining a light in the world. I remember the Course–when we shine a light thousands are helped :)

    What can I do? I’m all in!

    Hugs and love,

    Robin

  • http://twitter.com/heatherwaxman Heather Waxman

    Hey Mastin,
    I am in! I’d love to help in ANY way that I possibly can. I believe in your vision and, whatever you choose to do, I’d love to bring that conversation to the table on my blog. As a result of lots of recent changes, my “healthy living blog” has quickly taken on a  new face of spirituality and personal growth. My readers crave it; I crave it; we all crave it. I know that they would help spread the message too. So, in short, whatever you decide to do, I’m here to help.

    Stay lovely,
    Heather

    email: heather@fortheloveofkale.com
    twitter: @heatherwaxman

    • M_tequila

      Hi Mastin,
      My condolences to you at this time. May God & all affected by this give you strength and joy in the midst of grief. I too feel the inkling to help others around the world however I am called to in any way that I can and hope to someday be as effective as you are. I am interested in sending lots of love, hope, and positivity into the lives of others. If there is a place for me at the Daily Love I would love to be of service.
      Love & Joy,
      Tequila

  • Miss Angie P

    Much love and light to you Mastin. You inspire us daily and I hope that today you feel the love. Xx

  • EllieHuggins

    Dr. Lissa Rankin is educating the public about using the mind to heal
    illness.  That includes diseases of the mind like depression and the
    level of despair that causes someone to end their lives.  Perhaps she is
    a medical resource who could help you reach out to a broader audience
    and you could provide the tech vehicle the message arrives through. 

  • SparksToFire_Jeff

     

    Part 1 Me

    OK OK OK Uni-verse. I am starting to see. Today’s ACIM Workbook
    lesson is “I am the light of the world.” Mastin asks “What if YOU are the
    solution the world has been waiting for” Of course the light is the solution.
    Where am I going to shine that light?

     

    Part 2 Tech Folks

    I work with tech folks and far too many believe that tech
    is the answer. I did too. And then my Mother drank herself to death. Since then I have known “it’s not about the bits, it’s about the people.”

     

    Part 3 Questions

    I know your heart is reeling Mastin. Here’s some gentle
    feedback about two statements I believe may be limiting us.

     

    “The only reason someone takes
    their own life is because they believe that the future will not be as good as
    the present or the past.” Do we know this to be true? Is it something else
    or deeper? If the opposite of Love is fear, does that give us a hint?

     

     “And yet, something was missing (from Jody Sherman’s life).
    What was it? I will never know” This statement limits us. If there is a conversation we want to become a part of, don’t we have to listen to make a
    meaningful contribution to it?

     

    Please let me know how I can help Mastin.

    Jeff (at SparksToFire.com)

  • Jay Grizzly

    Greetings Mastin, 
    I am very new to the daily love, but have  been a subscriber of personal growth all my life.  Learning about you came through the vehicle of Super Soul Sunday and as it was repeated through the broadcast, many more personal growth opportunities have emerged since that viewing.   I have began reading A Return to Love.  This a book that I thought was lost in my home but found it sitting in plain view.  My professor gave us an assignment soon after asking us to specify what we are addicted to in our lives.  This introspectively healing assignment helped to realize I am addicted to external control.  the truth is I have never felt in control of myself.  I’ve also recently just came into contact with a professional in my field that has created a self-development seminar and she is interested in working with me to help me grow personally and professionally.  It would be my loss if I turned my back on everything that is happening around me.  This is what has lead me to write you.   Reading about your loved ones who took their own lives I found myself identifying.  Even though so many wonderful loving opportunities are emerging before me, I still find myself struggling with moments of anger, disappointment, dismay, and guilt.  I can go to sleep struggling and wake up feeling renewed.  I can end my day reading a return to love and wake up feeling fear. while I am working on myself, the dark side still remains.  This has lead me to consider the psychological theory that we all have a dark side. Jung referred to it as the shadow… it is that part of us that we have not yet fully integrated into our conscious mind.  The problem with that is, it can influence out behaviors.  My ‘shadow’ happens to be very negative, while for some it could be very positive (isn’t that a plus if you are already a positive being :) .   Until I am able to fully access this part of my being I believe it will forever haunt me and influence me when ever given an opportunity.  So while I am sure your friends wanted to live, I do believe that ‘shadow’ emerges whenever life occurrence offer it an opportunity.  With that said, I believe for myself that to learn to be a vehicle of love means to learn what is lurking in the shadows and address it by being honest with myself about who I am. All of who I am…. Without the physical manifestation experienced through hitting bottom while in the midst of drug abuse, finding my shadows means I must address multiple areas of my life and being….. I apologize for long reply… but i just want encourage you in helping others to identify their shadow before it finds an opportunity to consume them… Be encourage!

  • Cmggriffin

    I am not really sure how I can be of help. But I will try to help spread the light however I can. It’s interesting that you are commenting about the tech industry because that’s where I work. Specifically in Tech Sales. I think that its difficult to be in that industry and have peace because the CORE of tech is that its always changing, you are always pushing to innovate, to beat the competition and what is good today is never good enough tomorrow. After years of that mentality sometimes all you are left with is “you are not good enough”. Somehow, we tech people have to be reminded that we are good enough.

  • ninja

    Hi Mastin…

    “But, I am sobered in remembering that not everyone has the benefit or
    privilege to be able to do what I do and be immersed in this lifestyle.”

    This quote made me wonder and brought up something very important for me.
    Is it a lifestyle that not everyone has the benefit and privilege to be immersed in?   What lifestyle is that then? And do we have to be in it to be ok?
     A lot of people think you have to be some fluffy positive person who is really vibey, doesn’t smoke and upbeat to get to “IT”. I think that the SPIRITUAL lifestyle has been turned into an identity in itself. Which hinders everything. Its nobodys fault, and it started with good intention.  There is no lifestyle to follow.

    I am real human being. I ‘m not interested in putting up a facade to try to get to peace within. In fact the opposite. I need to tear down everything:) I need to get REAL. SO REAL . that is all. TO MYSELF. FOR MYSELF and therefore the world.  I AM EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS ME. And that is something I KNOW.

    …If we are already IT…what is there to become? Or attain?
    Is it not the beliefs on which we have been conditioned that we must LET GO OF to let what we ALREADY ARE THROUGH in this human experience?…. Is is not our ideas and beliefs about who we THINK we are and who we THINK we need to be, and who we THINK we need to worship and who we THINK we need to look like and who we THINK we need to be like, smell like, talk like, act like like…and what we THINK we need to follow that are the VERY THOUGHTS , IDEAS AND BELIEFS that are in the way fi you will of what we really truly are? Are we not so tired of it all? Of things not making sense. Doing the best we can , doing everything “RIGHT” as it were, and still not feeling  within ok. That “Something is still missing. Is this it?” feeling.

    SO I ASK: What is it that makes someone go beyond themselves? what they have always known? The image they always have been? To question their very own beliefs?

    This is a question me and a friend were talking about last night…

    I don’t know if you can relate to what I am saying … there is nothing to GET out there that will relieve us?  To understand the source of your suffering is to
    question your whole identity and your beliefs which have lead you to
    where you are now. And that is to undo everything you know and to question it.  A death,  if you will.. . and WHO WANTS TO DO THAT?…

    • Altersewn

      Thank you.

    • Lisa

      Beautiful and so very true.  I spent many years in deep, deep depressions and thought I might never feel ‘good’ or ‘whole’ or ‘well’ ever.  I would daily tell myself ‘If I don’t feel better tomorrow, then tomorrow I will kill myself.’  That was the best I could do at that time — postpone my suicide for another day.

      I am in a joy-filled place now — and that is not to say I don’t still struggle, and feel sad, and cry, and rage — but I ‘feel’ my emotions — I am NOT them.  Some people, I fear, can’t ever find the courage to die that first death so that they can start to live.

    • http://twitter.com/LivingUrBliss Bliss Magazine

      Ninja,
      I like you questions, they are really food for thought. Could be that there is life in death and death in life. And maybe both have to occur in order to grow.

    • Eve

       ”But, I am sobered in remembering that not everyone has the benefit or privilege to be able to do what I do and be immersed in this lifestyle.”

      Yes. I also stumbled over this sentence.

      @ Mastin: Dear Mastin, I feel sorry for yor loss and maybe it was your grief speaking here, but I am somehow sobered … what if NOT everybody wants to live like you and the people around you? What about people who do read your blog, who would consider themselves fairly spiritual, but want their life different from how you live it?

      I feel like you mean to pity me (yeah, it’s me, who think your life is somehow exciting but does not want to live her life that way) … and that feels not okay to me.

      Lots of LOVE to you and those around you!!

    • Tamami Nakano

      The death you talk about, I went through very recently. Trust me. You want to do that. Everyone does. We just need to see past the ego’s very persistent fears. It is wholly worth it, and all of our Purpose. I invite you to die with me… <3

    • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

      me.

    • Narassatic personality disorde

      Natasha if what I believe it to be you “ninja” you need a good hard look at yourself as what you say goes against what you really do. You wonder why men run from you? You said this yourself. Then you had the audacity to destroy your friends relationship with me and I knew the moment I met you you were a woman as such! We’re you lonely? She treats you like a sister and everyte she saw you, you made our relationship hard by your selfish ways as you didn’t see her any more. I’m glad I’m not with her now as she destroyed me like every man she has been with! And I bet you had a role in that? Seriously disappointed and you like her need help. It amazes me to see such evilness in a person as I only know good people. Even the warming signs were there…..all of you girls had men run from you to which you said so. Even her sister said you were poison from the day she met you! And further said I would lose her to you girls. It saddens me as I’ve never come across people like that. She was a beautiful woman who you want to yourself and you made it difficult every time you saw her. You are a home wrecker and need help I mean this. If this isn’t you I apologise but I believe I am correct?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=615524026 Michelle Sammartino

    Hello Mastin… I had never even heard of this site or you until Jody passed and I saw your posts. I am not sure why I never found you prior… as I am in the personal growth space all the time. Yoga, organics, healing etc etc…

    I worked with Jody in 1999-2001 for Comedy World. He is the second friend in one month from that company to take his own life and neither sit well with me. And they are two in a long list in my life to do this. It never makes sense and does not get any easier to deal with. I have worked in start ups mostly my entire career and I know all about the hours, the stress, the uncertainty of decision making, the money, and the confidence or lack thereof that it commands. And most of all this type of scenario attracts creative types who are always at risk of depression. I am one of them. There are moments of brilliance held up with self doubt and self critiques more harsh than anyone else could possible offer. We have all been there.

    From the outside Jody seemed invincible. I am not going to claim I knew him incredibly well. I knew the CEO Jody, the superhero Jody… I watched him in action and I admired him. When someone takes their own life when all appearances speak of success and happiness it rattles you to the core. And my circle who knew him are quite rattled. What was his check mate scenario? What was the last straw? Was he financially ruined? Was he diagnosed terminally ill? Was he being indicted for something we knew nothing about? Does it matter really and will we ever know? What I think really matters is that for some reason he saw no other way out. Did he think it through and understand the consequences of this action? I don’t think Jody ever did anything without playing out all the options and end game.

    It is baffling….

    I would love to talk to you about how I can help pull folks from the edge. I feel this is a good path for me if I can make some small difference. I have some ideas… I would love to discuss them with you and see what you think.

  • Elizabeth

    Dear Mastin, Your post truly moved me this morning and I am terribly sorry for your loss. I recently lost a friend to suicide and would love to help in any way that I can. I will post your beautiful post on my blog as a first step. Thank you so much for this work. Lots of love to you and Jenna, Elizabeth L. http://www.thesimplesalt.com

  • http://www.pilatesfusionllc.blogspot.com/ Pilatesfusionllc

    Hi Mastin,
    I am new to the TDL community and first of all would like to express my gratitude for the inspiring work you do.  I have been on my healing path for many years and when I saw you on Oprah you quoted one of my favorite quotes (what you bring forth will save you, what you do not will destroy you) I immediately searched online to find TDL and have been loving the daily emails ever since!  I am especially struck by your posts the last two days, I am so sorry for the loss of one of your angels. My brother took his own life a few months ago and I lost a dear friend to a long battle with cancer just weeks ago. Both scenarios bring the end of life as we know it and both bring feelings of loss, sadness and helplessness that I/we couldn’t do more.  I am a Registered Nurse, yoga instructor and own my own fitness company as well have recently started dabbling in my dream of writing.  So I can resonate with LOVE and service to others as a way of life, I walk in it everyday.  I have lost many in my life, have sat with death as well as the dying and I agree it is a hard subject for people.  I think due to my life experience I am one of those people that has a comfort zone so to speak in the space of the dying and grieving.  My experience is that both the dying, those contemplating death and those left behind truly want LOVE and DIALOGUE.   The subject needs to not be so taboo, these souls need to not feel so alone, so isolated and under such a cloud of stigma if they admit their thoughts of death.  I believe there is a HUGE space for people like us to start a dialogue, the more we talk about it, the less scary it becomes.  The more we educate, the more we break down those walls of shame and stigma.  The more we reach out with our words and hearts, the more people that need will realize they do not have to stay in their roles they play in their relationships and live a “false” sense of themselves.  This dialogue is important for those left behind as well, there is no blue print for grieving (yes psychological studies have been done for years) but what if what we felt individually was accepted and held with the support of community.  LOVE and DIALOGUE so that people can feel and not numb out is what I truly believe is the answer.  I have been working with this over the past few months with surprising results, see it is all the human experience, the more we share the more we realize we are similar and can support each other in our healing journeys.  Some will be ready faster than others but if the support and information and those of us that are comfortable in sitting in the space of loss and death is not available then there is a tremendous space of humanity that suffers in silence, in shame.  I am in and passionate about making a change, standing in the dark as well as the light.  

    Om shanti,

    Maren

    http://www.pilatesfusionllc.blogspot.com
     

  • Jackie Serviss

    Mastin,

    Thank you for opening the doors to this topic. My heart goes out to you and all those impacted by the recent passing of your friend Jody. I too have been impacted with people in my life who decided to take their own life and can appreciate the feelings you are experiencing now. 

    What can I do to help? I am here!

    All the best,
    Jackie
    xo

  • Ray

    Sorry for the loss of your friend. It has been my experience that most people don’t truly understand when someone is immersed in “the dark.” They cannot see how anyone would choose to live in such a space and not try to seek a solution. They believe you can just do something to change your perspective. The problem is you cannot always see solutions in that space. Depending on how long you have lingered there, it almost becomes a part of you. Without the recognition of your true self, you feel that it is your state of being, and not your state of mind. It’s like that saying, “Assimilation by association.” You become accustomed to it, in the sense that it will always be there. It distorts how you see the world, and therefore how you react/respond to the world. Sometimes, unfortunately, you cannot help someone who does not want help.

    I have been in that space off and on for over 20 years and I am only 32. The only thing that has kept me around this long is not wanting to hurt my family. I know, however, at some point, that will not be enough. You cannot live your life for anyone else.

    All that said, I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing. This blog, the work that is being done, is opening up another space from “the light” that reaches so many people. It is no one’s responsibility to try and save everyone. You can, however, reach out and grab hold of those trying to reach for something more than what know/have/see/feel/believe etc. Even death can be leveraged in bringing others out of darkness.

  • ZenGirl 81

    Thank you! By starting the thought you create a path and through the path a solution or at the minimum a shift in thinking begins. Just an uplifting comment – life and death are equal in my book. After experiencing inordinate amounts of personal loss in my own life I realize that it is the circle – we are born, we live and we die; as do all living things in this world. To not speak of death would mean not valuing life. They are 2 sides of the same coin. So thank you for acknowledging the death of a dear friend – by honoring his death you honor his life. I actually copied the Ram Dass letter since it spoke to my heart and moved me to feel how the cycle of life is so precious.
    So bravo for your courage to address an issue that makes people uncomfortable – that is how change occurs. Keep up the good work. And be gentle with your loss it takes time to grieve and achieve understanding of all of it…

  • Stephanie

    Hi Mastin,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I know literally nothing about tech, but more about suicide and such deep darkness and despair from my own experiences than I wish I did. I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I know what it is like to be on both sides of the table: the one suffering, and the one trying to help. Men, women, people of all ages and cultural backgrounds experience the pain that leads to thoughts of suicide on so many different levels, but the way that American society is progressing, we are piling on the pressure, and leaving little room for outlets of angst, anxiety and stress, or sadness and grief. The rapid pace of American life is causing us to stop focusing on the things internally that need to be addressed. These emotions pile up and spill over, eventually, and we see either inward (suicide/self-hurt) or outward (violence against others) methods of coping with the inner turmoil and pain. People get stuck in a place of darkness because it becomes more comfortable than stepping into the light. But, we all need light, and we cannot thrive in the shadows. We have to be able to help those suffering address the pain without poking and prodding at it. I do not know if there is any help I can provide for you on this matter, but I am oh so willing to do what I can in whatever direction you seek to go. I know that this is a conversation that must continue to be held for people across the country and the world.

    My condolences,
    Stephanie

  • basicbizdev

    Mastin,

    The easiest thing to do is to just hold space for someone and let them know you are there. Love everyone and see God in them. Tell them they are the 3D representation of God’s love on earth and that they exist on the planet is enough. Hug them put a hand on their shoulder. Love Love Love and when you are tired love some more.

    MJ

  • Ingrid

    Mastin, I am sorry for your loss.

    I signed up for the daily love on Sunday, I really felt inspired by your story and you saying yes to the universe. That is where I am at right now.

    Your post about Jody was the second daily love that I read and I have to admit, I felt annoyed. I have walked away from the computer several times this morning, shut down this site several times, but it’s kind of burning so I will say it even though it may be the wrong moment.

    I was annoyed that someone would trademark “it’s all good”…. as though it could be owned, controlled, possessed. It’s likely that the phrase has been used forever in some getto amongst the people who are just dealing with reality on a daily basis… “it’s all good’ being something that they said to one another to console…. You are in Jamaica right now. Ask any of the locals how long they have been using the phrase 24/7. I know it is at least since I was a little girl and I am now 42. Yet most would think it is owned by CNN.

    We own nothing in this simple life.  I just feel like we are living in a moment in time when getting, controlling, possessing and that whole capitalist notion of owing everything… words, land, every molecule in existence has got to be surrendered. We don’t own anything.. not even our lives. I feel like peace can only be found when we surrender to that. That old saying let go and let God.

    I am sorry that he took his life. May he find peace. And for anyone contemplating suicide, I know that peace can be found in surrender….

    My deepest condolence.
    Ingrid

  • Lizlaw217

     

    Dear Mastin:

     

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and mentor.  Losing a loved one is already so devastating;
    it is almost unbelievable when you find out that they left this world by
    choice.  It tears you in two.  It brings up so many questions.  Should I have seen it?  Was there something I could have done?  Why????? 
    It breaks your heart and breaks it again.  I applaud your bravery for beginning this
    conversation.  There is a need in this
    world that is going unfulfilled.  There
    is so much focus on behavioral and mental health but it doesn’t quite
    encapsulate the whole issue.  Is it just
    in your mind?  Perhaps that’s where it
    lingers but it’s deeper than that.  If
    you ask me the majority of people are walking around in such intense pain.  They feel alone and desperate afraid to reach
    out.  We need an open and honest forum
    where we can discuss our pain without shame and without judgment, when left
    unattended it eats you alive.  It
    consumes its host.  I don’t know the
    answer but the first step is recognizing the problem and we need a place to
    heal, not just our minds but our hearts and our souls. 

    Much Love,

    Elizabeth

  • dap

    Death is the inevitable reality of life–the two phases of life and death constitute an inescapable law for all beings..Confronting death at a fundamental level is an inevitable spiritual undertaking that helps us to live more profoundly and more meaningfully..
    The latin phrase memento mori–remember that you must die–suggests, we grasp the true meaning of life only when we  honestly face the reality of death…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100005060892358 Eveline Almeida

    That’s awesome, Mastin, using a sad thing to find out how we can help more. And you mentioned Aaron Swartz too, huge loss. I work with tech, I’m an user interface designer and I have lots of friends like Aaron that fight for internet freedom, open source and that stuff. Sometimes I think they’re so obsessed with their fights that they forget about themselves, and that’s something really complicated. If you wanna do something related to internet activism I would love to help, although I’m in Brazil, but I think that’s not a big problem.

  • Rebeca

    Hello Mastin and TDL community!

    My Heart goes out to you and everyone who’s been affected or touched
    by Jody Sherman’s passing.  I would Love being of help in any way I can.

    I understand the pain and distress of losing a loved one in such a manner when 
    you think all is well.  I come from a long family history of ‘own physical  life enders’… 
    and gone through the pain and depression myself, only to find out how much more
    meaningful and beautiful life Should be, starting from the inside.  

    I am not a super techie myself but I do use memes to keep one very special  friend
    uplifted at times, as he has opened up to me about resorting to the topic at hand as a way out of his very well disguised depression…
    Which I can’t fathom for all I know he is a VeRy talented techno-man, musician,
    writer, graphic designer, etc. always surrounded by family and friends who aDOre him…

    It breaks my SouL every time he shares his darkest side with this humble servant 
    who is willing to do whatever it takes to get him out of his funk, but feels so tied and short  
    on what I can, should or just don’t  do… 

    If this genuine desire to help people going through this should escalate to a Higher Level
    Bless it be, I’M IN!!!

    I hope your heartache eases up little by little and feel uplifted by the wonders in this thread you just started.  The Uni-verse will always bring the right strength.. !  

    I hope Montego Bay wraps its SouLfulness in all of you and your wonderful calling.
    You’re invited to visit Puerto Rico anytime, you’ll have a friend and an awesome guide. (moi!)

    Much Love, Open-Heartedness and a Warm Cosmic Hug to all,

    ~Becky

  • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    Yesterday Ram Dass wrote, “Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching you are receiveing?”  The answer is, “YES.” Last Mother’s Day, Cinnamon Lofton’s daughter (Joy Hopkins) lost her best friend (Steph) to suicide (mid 40′s). Joy wrote about it as my guest writer (Best Friends) and the blog was read by 100 people overnight. Being a student of Cinnamon Lofton and hearing countless stories of how she goes through her pain in the present moment when her loved ones die (including her own husband), I was very interested to see how she would go through Steph’s death, since it was so tragic. I was in absolute AWE watching Cinnamon conduct class just minutes after hearing the news (After all she knew Steph as a little girl). She didn’t cancel our Living Love class and she grieved right in front of us, went through her PAIN, and still served our so-called “issues” of the day (She chooses to not SUFFER). It could seem uncaring to a person reading this. Your mind could think, “People need time to get over a death; she needed the time for herself to grieve; is she stuffing her emotions?” It was the quite the opposite. She trusted Steph’s life contract and knew that Steph was where she needed to be (The REAL WORLD of the other side). Watching my mentor grieve in front of class was the most amazing gift for me (Some-what like being a part of a live birth…the cycle of life). She cried when she needed to and even her daughter came into class to remember the truth of LOVE. That our souls never die. When you are willing to know that (not just intellectually), but from your core…you will feel your loved ones on the other side (The imaginary veil will be lifted and you will know them now from their TRUE self). Cinnamon said the next morning that Steph came to her with her arms wide open and said, “I DID IT CINN! I DID IT!” Meaning….she fulfilled her life contract. This really helped a lot of us who were thinking how SELFISH Steph was to kill herself (Especially because she left a 12 year old daughter behind). It took all judgement away and Cinn was willing to be present for all the relatives who were SUFFERING (Especially  for her daughter). I am going to ask Joy to comment today on your blog Mastin…she will, if it is her whisper to do so. And, if she doesn’t…know this. Steph left her with the greatest gift….To LIVE this life fully and GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW!!!
    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ 

    • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

      “Greif is like bath water. When you first get in, it is really hot. When you relax and sit with it, it becomes a comfort and a cleansing. When it cools down, it’s time to get out.”
      Cinnamon Lofton (Here, Now)

  • Diamonde Williamson

    I want to do the same Mastin! I’m here in Atlanta and I see so many problems, and all I want to do is solve them! You’re amazing and have inspired me to be a philantropist and to share my gifts with the world. You’re amazing

  • Noel

    Dear Mastin,

    I am so sorry for your loss.  You must be confused to have lost someone that seemed to have everything. Obviously, there was something more to his life.  Something he could not and did not share.
     
     I too have been to that dark place.  I am still here; I always say……by the grace of God.  The one thing that I know for sure is that depression is not talked about enough in our society.  There still is a stigma attached to someone who has been or is depressed.

    We need to do more.  We need to talk more. We need to listen more and most importantly, we need not to pass judgement on people who are depressed.  Where do we start?  A question that needs to be addressed before other lives are lost.

  • Jen_Mitchell

    I am 100% onboard.  I believe with every inch of my being, the world is waiting for people like me to step up to the plate.  I sent a note yesterday via a contact form regarding how THE DAILY LOVE can be instrumental in resetting the mindset surrounding Sandy Hook, Columbine, et al.  I am thrilled that you actually asked today :)   Please check your inbox or reach out so that we can begin what I believe is a game-changing dialogue. 

  • Monikaswalker

    Hi Mastin,

    I’ve been following your blog for a couple of months now, and have found it relevant and helpful every day that I’ve read it.  The subjects you have chosen to write on each day have – without fail – always sychronistically reflected what is relevant to my experience.  This suggests to me that you are really connecting with your flow when you write – and we all benefit from that….

    So with regards to your writing on death, or speaking from your own place of grief or struggle, I really respect the honesty here.  You show us that you are human, that life is not always rainbows and sunshine, and yet – that there is meaning, value, insight to be gained through every aspect of life experience.  You are the living example through your honest expression and reflective experience.

    So thank you for also addressing the ‘dark’ side of life – which perhaps is only ‘dark’ at all because of our judgements about it.

    With love,

    Monika Walker

  • Altersewn

    Dear Mastin,

    In the course of your experiences, of most of our experiences, we are TAUGHT that death is inevitable. We are not TAUGHT how to accept and experience the emotions that occur as a result of someone’s death. We ‘think’ we know and then someone dies and we find out otherwise.

    When I say we, I mean we as a society.

    Death comes for all of us and we are lead to believe that so long as the person who died has done so in a manner that is comfortable and surrounded by loved ones in a gentle place, that is the CORRECT way to die. 

    A human death is such a natural part of our existence and yet we are woefully equipped to deal with it on an intellectual as well as an emotional level that we forget, suppress, and ignore the core knowledge that we are simply bodies that are being inhabited by Spirit.  Spirit is Eternal.

    Suicide in particular is considered the most egregious method of exit from this plane as it leaves behind all of US wondering where, how, and why did we fail to not see the suffering of someone who felt so moved to end their physical being. 

    As someone who has said goodbye to many people as a result of suicide, my father included, I have come to accept that a person choosing their exit is sometimes not in turmoil at all but has reached a level of understanding that is beyond comprehension.  I am not in anyway advocating suicide as an method of departure from this world, I am simply relating what I have experienced and witnessed. 

    I hope that in reaching out to those in need that you will allow them to receive your guidance or not, as they best see fit. There are many people who are living attributable lives that die everyday. If you reinforce the notion that the only people who are “allowed” to depart are those that fit into a model of comfort and “happiness” then we are doomed to continue suffering at each persons passing. 

    Respectfully, Lance

    • Lisa

      Lance,

      I think too that we are conditioned to believe somehow that suffering and pain and heartbreak are all we can expect from ‘this’ life, but somehow, when ‘this’ life ends — we are going to live in perpetual joy and happiness.  I once explained to a friend of mine that to me, the appeal of suicide has always been getting to the ‘next’ place; not specifically any desire to leave this one.  I’m thankful to have finally reached a point that I am not in any rush to see what is next because I like what is now.  It was a long time coming.  Not everyone gets there.

  • Yasmin

    Thank you for reflecting on the reality of death, Mastin. Make no mistake, remembering death is extremely optimistic because it instantly throws us into action mode. Remembering death helps us realize our True Purpose on this earth.

  • SC

    I lost a friend recently to suicide too. He was not a super close friend but someone I had dated years ago. The thing about him was that he was very evolved spiritually and very much a people person. I don’t know the reasons for taking his own life, but I know he had a lovely and very spiritual wife and a ton of very close friends that really looked up to him. I’m not sure if there is all that much anyone can do when someone gets into a place that dark. I think a part of them closes down and refuses to share the truth that’s inside themselves. I feel like if he did it then anyone is capable of it. Scary.

  • Daphne

    Dear Mastin, first of all my deepest sympathies for your loss.  How painful it is to realize that a friend who had so much to live for could nto see that future and decided to take that Exit door.  You ask a very interesting question about if we are solution to a problem … So, here is a question to start a discussion of possible solutions –>

    Obviously people with suicidal thoughts are very good at hiding their feelings BUT is there way that those around them can be alerted to a possible problem?  Are there any signs that we could look for?  If anyone has helpful information, please share!

    Thank you!

  • Cathy

    Mastin,  I sent you a message on the “share what you’re going through” section.  I couldn’t figure out how to get to this page.  Please go there if you’d like to read what I sent you. 
    With love, Cathy

  • Mybelle781

    I don’t believe you can get to everybody who is suffering in the dark. Some of those  people have loving family and friends and there is STILL something missing inside them that none of us can replace or fill. There was nothing you could have done if that was his purpose.

    • SC

      agreed.

  • Sayredk

    Mastin,
    Sending you Unconditional Love. I am sorry
    For the losses in your life.
    DK

  • Brittany

    I am interested in helping with this. I am a blogger myself and have been blessed with the privilege to inform a small, yet influential amount of people. 

    My heart resonates with bullying along with small business owners and entrepreneurs. I often have those thoughts of ‘Is my future going to be brighter than my past and present? Is my hard work going to pay off? Is it worth it?’ 

    The operative word there is worth. 
    Are our lives worth living? Do we feel worthy of great things? Is the hard work, dedication, and outcome worth sticking around for? 

    For some, the answer is no, in which case he/she takes their own life. For others, like you and I, the answer is yes. And it is our job to show people WHY. 

    Thank you for this Mastin. Much love to you during this difficult time. 

    xoxo Brittany

  • Akasha-Ka

    Mastin, I am so grateful to have found you.  Thank you for sharing this!  I too have the personal growth gene and I also fully understand the dark side.  I really LOVE and believe in what you are doing.   You are such an inspiration.  I am a spiritual mentor, soul reader and energy healer and I would love to help your movement  in any way that I can. 

    Much Love to you,

    Akasha-Ka Meriamen

  • Klichtenfels

    I am a psych. Nurse and have teenage daughter who was hospitalized with severe depression and suicidal intent. As a mother and a healthcare provider I find this very scary and difficult to understand the upswing in suicides. Especially in teenagers and young people. How to show them there is another way. I feel I’m obligated to be a part of anything that could help people see a different way out

  • Sharice

    Dear Mastin,

    When I watched you speak on Supersoul Sunday I immediately thought to myself, Now this is a true Lightworker, Peacemaker and Visionary! I related and resonated with every single word you said. Thank you for the Light you put into this world and my sincerest condolences to you on the loss of a treasured friend.

    I believe that WE are all here to serve, and to be beings of Love and Peace… its just our choice whether we choose to consciously do it every day.

    I am in!

    Love and Light,
    Sharice

  • Allie

    Oh this hurts my heart. My aunt passed from suicide two years ago and the wondering still hasn’t stopped. The what ifs, should haves, could haves, maybe if I had just reached out? And we are left saying, “What now?”
    Now we love. Continue to be a light. Continue to to be hope for someone in dark. We say hello, we are still here.
    Even if it is one person or a hundred. You are still shining. I commend you for wanting to shine brighter. You have the platform and the voice to do it. We are supporting you. We will answer the call.
    Peace and love to all of those affected by this tremendous loss to your personal community.

  • Justine Pattantyus

    Hi Mastin,

    I sat with your Ram Dass quote yesterday and talked about your Daily Love with my business partners. Your passion that’s coming through based on observations of the tech world speaks to me.

    Having worked at a quickly growing, well respected software company for a short, half-year stint, the pace was incredible. A lot of ego, continual drive to push past the already difficult-to-reach metrics and goals and a dog-eat-dog kind of attitude really made it challenging to connect with my coworkers. I found a few sane ones amidst the chaos and drive, but it seems to be embedded in the culture.

    Hold your cards close, crush those numbers, no lose attitude. Oh yeah, and make sure you drink the koolaid.

    That is a difficult culture to be vulnerable, open, honest and truly connect within in the type of way I consider to be fully human. For many of these “must win” corporations, there’s a lot of attitude put forth with a lot of pain/frustration/lack mentality as an undercurrent.

    While we continue with Business As Usual as our general approach, there only seems to be room for “success.” How can we move into a place of dialogue and balance in this atmosphere? Who takes the risk of vulnerability to open up and ask the challenging questions about what it means to connect and succeed in a business world?

    As a majority, many still view success as competition rather than cooperation; “power over” rather than “power with.” Dr. Bruce Lipton in “Wisdom of Our Cells” talks about 3 current viewpoints that are killing us. The competition rather than cooperation is one of them. So how can we work together and begin to shift this viewpoint?

    Tech seems like a good place to start. I know there are pockets out there of people doing wonderful things – like Nick Bowden from mindmixer.com.

    Being a tech-focused marketer, I touch a lot of tech companies while working and it may be outside people like myself that begin to ask questions about how teams and companies cooperate for greater success.

    Blessings in these tough days and may you find peace in Jody’s passing.

    -Justine

    • Lisa

      Love how you point out that it is difficult to switch gears from ‘don’t get run over’ at work to ‘let me save the world’ at home. 

      It is SO hard.

      • Justine

        Absolutely, Lisa! It creates this inner and outer friction. For myself, I had to leave and follow my heart to work that feels truer to my own alignment and calling.

  • AvalonLove

    I am so saddened by the loss of yet another young soul this tragic way.  I lost my father to suicide when I was 18, and 11 months ago lost a close friend from high school who left behind 2 beautiful teens and a loving husband.  My best friend has also lost her mother and nephew in this manner, and my neighbor friend lost his brother   Sadly, in my life, this seems to be the most common death among my friends and family, including cancer and auto accidents, and it’s just so tragic and destructive to all left behind.  I am thankful at 48 I don’t seem to carry a propensity towards deep depression or suicidal tendencies, am generally positive and optimistic, but all around me it continues to happen. 

    I made sure my two teen sons saw counselors when they hit rough times going through bullying and self-esteem issues in hopes of showing them options if in their future they find themselves lost. They benefited greatly, and both of them are quite well adjusted and my oldest hopes to get his Ph.D.  in psychology due to the impact his counselor had on his life.  This is a huge epidemic in our country that doesn’t get the attention it deserves.  We definitely need to address this issue and facilitate help and solutions for our friends and family and fellow human beings in such despair.

  • Tracy

    Mastin,
                  Thank you for always showing the world the reality of life and how much we need LOVE to cure it.  I post everyday something positive on my FB to always remind people of the LOVE of God and how life is so much more.  You are an inspiration and I hope you know that you are loved by everyone who follows you and I hope you will stay positive and feel the love all around because you are needed and a positive asset to the world.  I’m sorry for your loss of your friend Jody and I feel a loss also because he was a positive asset to the world by the many things he did to improve it.  Every person on this earth has a role to play and we need to remember our biggest one is to LOVE one another just as God has spoken us to do.  Blessings to you.

  • Zoraya R.

    I didn’t comment on your last blog because when someone passes there really isn’t anything that can be said to make it better. I’ve lost loved ones is my life and I was bothered more than comforted by peoples” I’m sorry for your loss” or “He’s in a better place” comments. I just wanted him here and with us.

    With that said, I want to apologize and say that losing people is hard and when they pass from their own hands it’s even harder. It leaves those who cared for them with hundreds of questions. And that is torture in a way. I do not have the slightest idea of how to help those who feel death is the only answer to their struggles. But, I would like to help in anyway possible.

    Stay strong Mastin and stay in a space of love.

    Zoraya

  • http://www.thriveandfly.com/ Michelle

    And the there is “Tired.”  Just So. Tired. Of. The Struggles. 
    So tired, that even if there is a beautiful sunset on the horizon, and the ability to appreciate it…. some people have the lack of energy or motivation to look up — because it all seems too hard.  And yes, they are at that point –hopeless.  Despite the love of friends and family or words or reassurance that showed up or didn’t.

    I have not been to this dark place myself, but my father has.  He committed suicide when I was 13. And I could have told myself “If the necktie for Father’s Day was just a wee bit nicer, or the homemade card more meaningful…then maybe he would still be here!”  I could have told myself “If I was a better daughter:  cuter in my feety pajamas when I was little; more excited to see him when I was bigger; less noisy in the car or non-argumentative with my brother all along…. he would still be here.”  But they would be lies.  The kind I could torment myself with for the rest of my life if I were not careful. 

    He was on his own path, like so many are.

    This is not to say that more meaningful connections cannot help people get throught the rough patches.  They can.  And in those circumstances, there is work to be done.  We can hold space for people.  Help uplift their spirt, energy and meaning.  Help them find their purpose.  Help them find deeper spirituality and gratitude.  Help them get healthy, inside and out…and help them bablance their chemicals.  It is all alchemy, and it is definitely worth a try. 

    But we also have to let go, and accept what is done.  After we have gotten our answer the first time, and learned from the experience– there is no point in repeatedly asking  “what more could I have done?” or “why was I not enough?”  

    When we free our mind of that clutter, we can be of better help to ourselves and to those who still need us.  And that is where our work begins….

    Happy to help if I can be of any service.

    Michelle Gillette
    http://www.thriveandfly.com

    • Lisa

      Love, love, love this — I lost my mother to suicide at a very early age after watching her struggle daily for years.  She cried all day, every day until 30 minutes before my Dad got home, and then she was wife and mother of the year.  As a child, I ‘fought’ with her because I thought she needed to be stronger and tougher — like me – and then she wouldn’t cry so much.  You cannot imagine the pain I felt thinking that I ’caused’ her to die — so true that we really can’t ask ourselves too many unaswerable questions about those we lose — or we risk not seeing the ones who are still here and may need our love and help.  Peace and love,

  • Acebason

    The loss of your beloved were here as a gift for you to keep on the path of waking up humanity of this magical earth.

  • Robin

    Mastin and fellow viewers,

    So sorry for your loss! I am 41 years old and the older I get the more people I know who take their own lives. The people I know who have done this have been in a lot of pain. Even though to the outside world, it looked like they were managing their hurt and pain, inside was a different story. I believe people are afraid to talk about the truth, the deep seeded pains that life can bring, so they mask it, and just continue to try and deal with it on their own, or ignore it all together, until they explode! I believe fear is the root of darkness. Fear of judgement, rejection, ridicule, etc. Unconditional, pure love is the answer…unfortunatley in our human state, it is hard to come by. God loves us this way, and until we can receive this love, and ultimatley love ourselves this way, healing will not take place. I am a nurse and have found such joy in a life of service. I find joy and meaning in service and am so thankful for everyday I am given. I wish and hope for a place people can come together and truly express themselves and receive the help and answers needed to heal. Thank you for your service and daily love. peace, Robin

  • Helloworlditsq

    I’ve overcome depression without medication. It is a very very dark place to be. How did I overcome it? It still tries to creep back in, but I am a self help expert and I have learned that it is the only cure. How can I help? 

  • Not Judging

    I’m really sorry for all that you have been through. And, I’m also proud of you to still be able to keep a good head on your shoulders. I am interested in helping and knowing about tech, for sure!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31100770 Erin Quinn Clemons

     

    Mastin,

     

    Your post today is yet another “book falling off the shelf”
    moment as your pal, Gabrielle Bernstein, would say.  You asked, “What if YOU are the solution the
    world has been looking for?” Normally I would read your post and talk myself
    out of speaking up…nestle back into my cozy complacency comfort zone, all the
    while thinking that seemingly more qualified people will rise to the occasion. 

     

    That was before my shift happened.  I’ve spent the better part of my life ignoring
    the gentle tug on my spirit to rise above mediocrity and passivity to live out
    my life’s purpose.  For the past year and
    a half, I was investing in my growth and realizing that I was often my own
    obstacle, but I was admittedly only half-assed in my pursuit.  I was seeking and gaining wisdom, but I wasn’t
    stepping out. 

     

    Recently, the tug grew more urgent so I decided to up my
    game.  I started reading “May Cause
    Miracles,” “A Course in Miracles,” and “A Return to Love.”  I immersed myself in podcasts and
    prayers.  I took your “Discovering Your
    Soul’s Goals for 2013” course,  and light-bulb
    after light-bulb went off.  But there was
    still one last piece missing that I couldn’t figure out.  I still couldn’t shake the self-doubt. I
    couldn’t find it in me to fully believe that I was worthy enough to use my
    journey to help other people with theirs.  

     

    So I did something so simple – a solution that had evaded me
    despite fervent prayer, reading, meditation, you name it.  I asked God to help me to believe in my Divine Birthright; to help
    me believe in His love for me; to
    help me to let go of any final painful roots that were still entwined deep at
    the core of my soul.  Within mere
    seconds, I felt a warmth welling up from within and I began sobbing.  Wayne Dyer says, “You’ll see it when you
    believe it.”  I couldn’t see my Divine
    Birthright and the depths of God’s love for me and plan for my life, because some
    part of me hadn’t believed it; and until I truly believed it, I couldn’t see
    beyond my ego’s self-deprecating thoughts. 

     

    My point of all of this is that more often than we know,
    people are relentlessly swimming against the current, furiously kicking their
    feet to stay afloat until they come to the sobering conclusion that giving up
    is better than fighting anymore.  The ego’s
    thoughts eventually completely overtake their inner-spirit until they can’t hear
    anything but lies.  They finally become
    so disillusioned that the only promise of peace will come by allowing
    themselves to drown.  I’m reminded of the
    line from the movie “Inception,” ‘You’re waiting for a train, a train that will
    take you far away.  You know where you
    hope this train will take you, but you don’t know for sure.  But it doesn’t matter.’

     

    Today, I step out and offer whatever part of myself that I can
    to help free others of their disillusionment. 
    I, too, like so many of you fought a current because I thought that was
    just part of life.  It’s our duty, and
    really, our honor to shed light for those who have yet to see clearly and have the peace we are so blessed to know.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kaylle.tedesco Kaylle Tedesco

      Now THAT is how you comment!

      Mastin asked, ‘What if YOU are the solution the world has been waiting for?”

      Erin did exactly that.  She opened her heart and bared the the core of her being.  I know that it opened the flood gates to my heart that much more today.  It felt cleansing, real, up-lifting, and contributed to my light shining a touch brighter.

      I have no doubt you did that for others also. Much Love!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31100770 Erin Quinn Clemons

        Kaylle,

        This is what it’s all about – inspiring one another to
        do the work, to take the risks and to reach out to those that are still treading.

        Even by you taking the time to let
        me know that you were touched and invigorated by what I had to say, it has
        done my heart good in return by encouraging me to keep stepping out
        further.

        Shine on!

        • http://twitter.com/RealSheree Sheree Martin

          Hi Erin, Love you comment and I’m so happy that the page has turned for you. I’m in something of the same boat. Been on a quest for my life to find that purpose, all the while fighting a current.

          The past few months have been especially huge for me, too, culminating in January 2013 when I really let go and REALLy believed that I have a purpose and that it’s not mundane and it’s not up to me to control the results but just to take the steps to fulfill that purpose. It’s been an amazing few weeks. 

  • Lisa

    Oh, I am so sad to hear this new detail.  I will try in the next few weeks to find the copy of the funeral message that was given at my mother’s funeral.  She also committed suicide ; she was only 28 and she left behind 2 very confused little girls who had a Mom when they woke up and didn’t have one by the time they went to bed.  I can’t imagine what wonderful place that the minister must have gone to in order to deliver such a beautiful message, but my Grandmother saved copies and I have one.  It is as beautiful and moving as the letter you shared yesterday. 

  • Lolaallen

    You ask the question, “What was it?” in response to your friends suicide.  Life does not work apart from a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  That’s what was missing for him and many others who commit suicide.  I can hear you now, “I know others who’ve had a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ and they’ve committed suicide.”  Yes they have however, a relationship with God is just like any other relationship.  You need to spend time with him in order to nurture that relationship and grow in that relationship.  Furthermore, everyone who says they have a personal relationship does not have a personal relationship.  Also, this notion of self help is an oxymoron. We can’t help ourselves. We need God to help us help ourselves through his direction, wisdom and guidance.  The things of this world will never satisfy the deepest longings of the soul.  An amazing mate is great however, it won’t satisfy the deepest longings of the soul.  Everybody loving you definitely won’t satisfy the deepest longings of the soul especially if you live in LA.  People in LA love you as long as you agree with them.  The minute you disagree or offer a new opinion, thought and idea that goes against the flow, all of the love goes out the window.  I’ve experienced that from you.  You talk about being your authentic self, and expressing your true voice etc. however, based on my experience with you, all of that is cool as long as my authentic self and true voice feels good to you.  Because you don’t like my voice or the way I deliver my message, you no longer engage me.  If I depended on the praise of mankind, the love of mankind and mankind liking me, I’d kill myself on every day that ends in “Y.”  Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.  Perhaps it will inspire you to teach truth instead of all of this New Age fluff that essentially amounts to nothing at the end of the day.  

    • not so fluffy

      Why are you on here if “new age fluff esentially amounts to nothing” and you have already a ‘personal relationship with God’? Says more about you and your relationship can’t be going too well can it? (a little joke:) Mentioning the last 2 sentences especially shows where you are. That’s really mean.

    • Guestwriter6

      LolaAllen, I consider myself a born-again Christian, and while I understand intellectually what you are saying, you are saying it with rancor.  Most people are doing the best they can in life. Supporting one another with a loving attitude and spirit is what is needed.  Accepting people where they are in life is what is important. Hitting someone over the head or punching them in the gut with hurtful words is irresponsible behavior and especially for one who has nurtured a relationship with God.  We are all weak. Show Christian love and stop harassing those who prefer to live life differently than how you wish to live yours.  Respectfully, A fellow follower of Jesus.

  • adk4

    Hi Mastin,
    There’s a book I think you’ll really like called The Healing Ground, by a very spiritual, compassionate, soulful man named Francis Weller. It’s about grief and ritual, but also so much more than that. It speaks to what we hold inside us and what we yearn for as well. Francis changes people’s lives with the work he does. His insights may shed some light on your friend’s passing.  And you may also get some answers regarding how we can provide solutions.

    May you find moments of peace among the moments of sorrow during this tender time.

    ~Alicia

  • NV

    This is a subject very near and dear to my heart as I have friends who have taken their own life, family members that struggle with depression and am part of a culture who is more prone to have suicidal thoughts and fantasies (Latinos). It is something that I feel needs to be addressed just not sure how. I would love to help in some way.

  • TiaDN

    Hi Mastin- count me in!  I have several people in my life who struggle with depression.  I’ve had to look at my shadow quite a bit in the past year and it can be overwhelming without love and support.  I thank you Mastin.  The Daily Love has helped me alot.

  • Estee_horn

    I am truly sorry for the pain you in your heart. 
    Suicide, it’s heart breaking and so difficult to understand, if at all possible.  Our town has suffered many suicides over the past couple of years, mostly high school age - 
    This was a production by the some of the peers of those who have passed, so proud of these youths, they are doing what they can to prevent yet another, be present, be love….BE.  Watch, it’s short - http://youtu.be/KkZWdPiYGLQ

    I with you to help!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000312149157 Cathy Pullins

    Hi Mastin,
    I am a regular commenter.  I didn’t read yesterday’s post; that is why I didn’t comment on that one.Yet, today, I resonate with your desire to be some kind of solution.  We stepping toward launching a blog/vlog with my husband.  We want to be ‘in the numbers’ spreading good (such as you and others do).  My husband, Aaron Pullins 3 also has a particular attachment to the community that is addressed locally as the ‘hard to serve’, his life challenges, successes, language skills etc give him a unique ability to do this.   I believe the issues he addresses are in fact a form of suicide as well, read on to see if you do. Who are the ‘hard to serve’? These are the citizens most at risk for ‘perpetrating’ gun violence along with others seeking to build a new life after incarceration and recidivism patterns.  [...Can you just imagine feeling particularly called to serve them?  Wow! .. I live with the man and I am still amazed and blessed to even have the problem close at hand to even try to help him address this.]Right now, along with managing our company  APZ Entertainment,  (which he wishes to turn more dramatically toward a service minded orientation) he works for a local social service action agency trying to offer people a life line for change. The agency is noble yet he is underutilized in this capacity because it limits him to pretty much 1-to-1 or 1-to-a few services.  Using his/ our  God /’Universe’ provided charisma, tools, and talents we can launch a knowledge content/ based platform that can touch lives on a macro level.  I think thees issue and suicide are intwined together.  They are both rooted in hopeless and a disregard for one’s life and reflectively the life of others as well.  Can you see a connection?Anyway, I am the most tech minded here and not tech minded enough alone.  Over the last 48 hours I have had an overwhelming feeling that I am not nearly enough alone, this gave me the impetus to respond to your query.Said another way –I think we over here in little Cincinnati Ohio may be holding pieces of each others puzzle, if so, I believe others are too. I reached out to Brendan Burchard and Eban Pagan yesterday regarding the technology pieces, I haven’t heard back from them yet. I will continue to labor alone, following my goal chart to make what we possess more visible to all.  In the meantime, if you reach back to me,  we will permit our tumble of thoughts to join yours and you ..make that we.. can judge for ourself if we would be useful allies. (I know from experience that people and visions are more malleable before they are fully formed, so like your previous post mentioned, we will not be afraid to move into a discussion from where we are now, we don’t have to get ‘more perfect’ first’.  From my vantage point the ‘light’ is getting brighter but the dark seems darker too and we must rush to join forces where we can.We are, Cathy Pullins (Cathywrites) ..Author of MeeGenius children’s book, “Hero Report” (http://bit.ly/10fOyDt) about a young boy who steps into the silence and takes a stand and Aaron Pullins 3, (https://plus.google.com/107083605775483037919/videos) founder of APZ Entertainment, (http://apzentertainment.com/2011/05/aaron-pullins-iii-ceo/) executive producer of the film, “Who U Gonna Serve”, an initiative to reduce gun violence by appealing to a call to spiritual transformation and a public servant to the ‘hard to serve’.

  • eris

    I wasn’t sure who Jody Sherman was, so I googled him after reading this post. The story is heartbreaking, he seemed like a unique individual and a powerful influence to those he met. When going through articles, I stumbled upon this: http://amyjomartin.com/2013/lonely-at-the-top/

    From the article:
    “Yesterday we lost an incredible fellow entrepreneur and my Renegade friend, Jody Sherman. Last week, he invited a few of us fellow CEO/Founders to get together for something he called the ‘Lonely at the top meet-up’. In the email invite, he wrote:
    “Each of us is so busy and has so much on our plates. Often times, I find myself with no one to talk to about the challenges I might be facing, the frustrations, the excitement, and the stress that comes from being a CEO/founder.”
    We all thought it was odd when he didn’t show up for the meet up last night. I wish the meeting had been scheduled a few days prior. Or better yet, I wish I would have been more proactive and reached out directly, one-to-one.”
    She goes on to recommend as a takeaway that entrepreneurs be encouraged to have similar meet-ups for support and the like. As a member of the tech community, and one who has had exposure years ago to start-ups in the LA area I definitely agree that this is an area that is not currently talked about. When I read your statement of wanting to have an immediate impact in this space, this article is exactly what jumped to my mind. Perhaps you could chair some meet-ups like this, or participate in them – hold some sort of event that starts the conversation around the kind of stressors facing entrepreneurs and how they can be looked at differently from a spiritual perspective..
    I have additional thoughts that have been simmering since I read your blog, and some insight into the tech entrepreneurial community in LA as well as some in Denver as well – if you’d like to discuss further drop me an email!

  • Jamie Pope

    HI Mastin, 
    consider a web site, “Have you thought about killing yourself after…… breakup, job loss, etc. So many sites are available when you google break up that are just BS tactics and don’t address the real pain these and other debilitating, potential life destroying events can wreck on sufferers.  

  • Jeannette

    hi Mastin,

    I read your blog yesterday about the loss of your friend and again today as you share how he died. From our human experience this is truly a great loss for so many. I have long been a lover of the hawaiian phrase, ho’o pono pono. It reminds me to look within as I experience the pain and loss that can accompany life. “Please forgive me for my error in thought, word, deed and action. I’m sorry, I love you and thank you.” Technology is such a wonderful tool to share more with the world but it has its limitations. I can’t completely see your face, hold your hand, or feel the vibration of your energy field throughthis medium. I don’t know the answer to this conudrum but I do know life is “both/and.” Holding the hearts of many….

  • lovedajourney

    I would be honored to
    help in any way.  Perhaps my journey can help someone else make it out of
    his or her despair.  I think I could
    best serve by sharing my experience of dark times when I didn’t think there was
    any point in my living.  

      I would say that someone in that space has a very limited
    view of any future at all, at least I could not picture mine.  In that
    moment, it almost feels as if no future exists.  I have multiple times
    been shrouded in the so very heavy feelings and thoughts – It doesn’t make any
    difference if I am here or not,  I simply do not matter…
     I felt as though everyone and everything in life could go on fine, if not
    better without me.  Even though, intellectually speaking, I  knew – I have family and friends who love me – in that moment I could not feel it, it felt
    as if I was all alone.

     From the outside it doesn’t seem logical – but in those moments, logic escapes.

     

    It’s been a long road, but I truly believe I will never find
    myself in that darkness again.  I would
    be grateful to help another soul shed the grave lies of worthlessness and fear.

    For me nothing is more rewarding in life than connecting
    with others.  If there is anything I can
    do, please allow me to be of service.

  • http://www.facebook.com/felina.danalis Felina Danalis

    Dear Mastin and fellow Lovers …

    First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. Death is a topic that our culture seems to shun talking about in a very serious way. That’s disheartening because there is no life without death. Thich Nhat Hanh talks about the lotus flower and the mud and how one comes from the other, and that one could not exist without the other. I just moved back to the US from Greece where talking about death and how it helps give our life meaning and purpose is far more socially acceptable. Even in the “personal growth” bubble of which you speak, we have great strides to make in helping us get more comfortable with this important part of life. 

    Second, I would absolutely, 100% be thrilled to take up the challenge with you to explore giving more hope to the hopeless such as those in spaces like technology. When I came to my boyfriend’s house last night, we learned that one of his colleagues — a brilliant, beautiful lawyer in LA — had also killed himself: in his 30s. There is so much pain among the best and brightest and if you are putting yourself out there to help them, you can count on my support in any way I can offer it! 

    With love and gratitude for all you do,

    Felina
    Palm Springs

  • Daphne_Texas

    To start a discussion as you asked, here is my question —

    What are the signs to look for that would alert to there being a problem with suicidal thoughts?  People in that situation are very good at hiding their feelings.  But what can those around them do to help?

    Any thoughts, anyone?  Thanks

  • http://joannemstein.com/ JoAnne Stein

    I’m so sorry for your loss Mastin and can completely relate to the thoughts running in your head. I think the prayer you included in yesterday’s post was so loving and it made me feel wonderful after reading it and no need to post anything further because that pretty much sums it up.  I hope you don’t let the ego and negativity in by beating yourself up and wondering if you could have done things differently.  There’s nothing you could have done and it will only hurt you to resist the reality of losing your friend, as difficult as that may seem.  It’s like the prayer indicated, we don’t know what his goal on Earth was and he couldn’t have died unless he had completed his mission.  Now he is free and still with you in spirit.

    I’d love to help in any way with spreading love and I’m not a huge tech person aside from having a blog but I wish I had a megaphone to shout love to the world.  So if you know of a platform or need any help spreading the word, I’d be happy to help.  Sending you lots of love and healing!

  • Ruthkthieme

    It is important to be uplifting and loving. This helps our hope! But people must address the issue of suffering as well. There are so many forms of suffering. Maybe a Social Worker, a Therapist, or Psychologist to deal with trauma and mental illnesses! If a person kills themselves this usually has something to do with mental illness.

  • Matthew Basirico

    Mastin,

    I have been reading your emails for the last 6 months.  I really appreciate getting your daily reminders and motivational love messages.  A little bit about me, I am an investment banker and have work experience in Tech Venture Capital.  My passion and main goal in life revolves around Venture Capital and Angel Investing.  I would love to see how we could work together to make both of our goals become a reality.  Please get back to me, and I look forward to hearing from you.  My email is matthew.basirico@gmail.com.

    Regards,

    Matt

  • Kvtlove

     “The problems you see in the world are there so that you can solve them…  I cannot sit back knowing what I know and let this keep happening.”

    thats pretty much my philosophy. all my writing, my music, my fiction novel, screenplays, they all tackle important issues that are very prominent in todays society. i believe that one of my purposes is to challenge peoples perspectives, both their own view on themselves as well as understanding others’ because i feel if people took the time to look at things differently and understand (not necessarily have to AGREE with, but simply understand) a perspective other than their own, a lot of today’s problems would be on the road to solution and there would be more peace (both internal and external).

    mastin, if you see this and there is anything i can do to help, PLEASE let me know.

  • Melissa

    Mastin,

    I lost my sister to suicide 10 years ago. She struggled and struggled with wholeness. She sought treatment for her eating disorders and addiction problems only to walk away without *any* coping mechanisms. She spiraled and took her life on Thanksgiving weekend.

    I have come to believe that classic pyschotherapy doesn’t work. It has MAJOR gaps in its effectiveness. It does not teach wholeheartedness. 

    I would love to see a movement to fill these gaps. This would be revolutionary.

    Thank you for what you do.

  • Lablove

    First, Mastin – I am so sorry about both of your friends. A friend of mine committed suicide in the Fall and it came as a total shock to everyone. He really was seemingly such a happy guy. Also, since the summer I have been separated from my husband who is deeply struggling to find his own light and happiness. I am standing by him, trying to help to keep him up right as he walks through his own dark journey. The death of our friend both set his progress back in some ways and moved him forward into knowing that that was not an action he would take. I believe our friend died to save my husband and other friends in our community who are struggling. It had a great impact. My husband walking away has been the biggest gift of my life because it finally made me get to work. It’s hard and it sucks and it’s a struggle but I am totally on fire for everything I am learning through this. I too know I need to do more for others who are so confused about not only their own paths but where the trail-head starts.
    I am in, fearlessly! I am not a programmer but am social media savvy and a tech junky. 

  • Nan

    Hi Mastin,

    I have loved TDL for awhile now and this is my 1st post. I am deeply sorry for you loss, Mastin. If there is anything I can do to help tech wise, I am an electrical engineer, and avid fan of TDL. Searching for a deeper purpose of what I am to do. I have more of a intuition thinking and deep feeling when I do my work which makes me a total oddball in a thinking, sensing, facts driven field – but I like to think I bring my own special something to the table. Let me know if I can be of service. I would love to work with you and like-minded people.

    Hang in there, this was above you, not in your hands. You really never completely know how things like this happen unless you where right there with him the whole journey, which only God was. He is in good hands now. Take time to grieve and pray and know that we all love you so much.

    xoxoxoxoxo
    Love,
    Nan

  • Akire

    I am interested in helping!!  I don’t know what tech. means explain?
    it’s really hard to get out this dark states at some point I felt helpless but I was able to get my self out it, we just don’t express we are suicidal, it’s a sin oh! no how can you even think about that.  I think for men is even harden cause men have a harder time expressing feelings than women. We don’t know that we have let go of that part of us that’s life, spirit and the outside world no longer makes sense. xoxo

  • SV

    As a suicide survivor and somebody who lost her Dad and many friends at a very young age, this blog post hits home in a profound way. I still struggle with my inner demons, but this inspires me to keep fighting them. Thank you for writing such an authentic, beautiful post, and sharing your feelings. I’m so, so sorry for your loss.

  • http://dyannebrown.com/ dyannebrown

    This past August, I tried to commit suicide but I was unsuccessful. I can tell you that it wasn’t because I thought the past was better. The past was horrible. The present was horrible and I thought the future was going to be equally horrible. I felt that I couldn’t live up to my own expectations of who I should I be. I just felt completely lost and disconnected from everyone. I felt like no one understood me, not even me. I felt alone. I felt powerless. But, I survived. I have to believe that it was for a reason. I’m trying to write my story. My life hasn’t gotten any better. I’ve just changed how I look at it. I have some technical know-how, but I wouldn’t call myself a techie. I have a strong desire to help people feel avoid the feeling I have been through that would lead you to want to take your life. If I can do anything to help, please let me know. I want to be apart of the conversation. 

  • B.V.

    Sending Love.

  • Nadine

    I am fully on board with you Mastin. I am currently coping with two close family members of mine, my brother and my cousin, ending up in the hospital from having suicidal tendencies.  My mission in life is to help people overcome depression and anxiety and find the inner peace, happiness, and fulfillment they are so desperately seeking. I would love to partner with you in any way I possibly can to help you with your goal because it is my goal as well! :)

  • http://twitter.com/DelilahSullivan Delilah Sullivan

    Mastin, one word: fear. Fear, for whatever reason, driving someone to prefer death over facing their fear. And yes, you can help people, by slowly, one by one, helping them address fears. Should they wish to.

    I was lucky, so lucky (like many no doubt), that I had the very real possibility of death brought up close to me. And somehow, my fears just started falling away. This did not happen without help along the way…from people just like you. But it has been fast, powerful, and at times tricky to hold on – and that’s been when I needed the help. You can make a change, are making a change.

    Sadly, for us, people will pass – but they strike a contrast. And in this contrast amazing things can, and do, happen. All is good. x

  • jess

    Mastin,

    i am so very sorry for your loss.

    the topic of suicide is huge for me, especially because depression and anxiety have touched many members of my family and many of my friends. i have lost friends to suicide as well, and i would love to be a part of whatever it is you’re planning. i suffered from depression for many years, and i also resorted to self-harm during my dark times. it’s one of those things that we may struggle to understand, and that we may never 100% fully understand because everyone goes through different stuff throughout their lives, and we never actually know what is going through someone’s head when they make the decision to take their own life, but i do believe it is up to us to try and figure out a way to make things better.

    let me know how i can help.

  • http://twitter.com/LivingUrBliss Bliss Magazine

    Dude,
    Im totally interested and in for the conversation. I think what happens when it comes to death is the fear of facing our own mortality hence no response on the blog : ) Coming face to face with the idea of death is very scary for a lot of people because it is an in your face reminder that you will not live forever.The idea that you will never see your friends and family again is daunting. Our culture, society and religion have also made it sound like death is the end all be all. The truth is that death is the continuation of our evolution just in different form. I don’t think we die in the sense of never ever existing again i just think we change form. The problem is that we are so identified with our physical form that we think this is the only way we can exist. That who we are is this body. Who you really are is a spiritual being having a human incarnation. Therefore who you are is more than just your physical body. You are a divine being with infinite potential.

    When it comes to suicide, we all have our judgmental opinions on the subject matter however i realize that we are all here to learn and grow. That our existence on this earth plane is to reach our highest potential whatever that may be. Since we are all here to learn the lessons that will help in our evolution than we choose people, events and circumstances that will propel us towards that evolution. My evolution is different from your evolution even though it is towards love. Don’t get me wrong i understand death is painful and there is a lot of sorrow associated with it and i am also aware that just because someone isn’t here physically doesn’t mean that they are not here. Remember we are all one and we are all connected to each other.

  • Glora J Duke

    Mastin, I would love to bring you words of comfort during this time of great loss for you.  I have written a book talking about how our deceased loved ones live on and they can still see us.  I am a firm believer that we don’t die a minute sooner or later than we have planned.  I think from our soul level, we know exactly how we are going to die and have agreed to that.  My intention here is purely to bring you comfort.  My book is not out for public release until March 26, 2013. It is called “From Mourning to Morning (When Heaven and Earth Merge)” by Gloria J Duke. Tate Publishing is my publisher.  The book is filled with miracle after miracle after those dark moments in life.  If you are in a hurry for comfort, You can get it in ebook format at the moment or order a paperback copy through Tate Publishing.  I have been given divine explanations regarding these dark nights of the soul that we go through.  I think it would really bring you comfort to read it.  If you email me at:  gduke1949@comcast.net I would even be more than happy to mail you a free paperback copy if you let me know where to send it.  Sending prayers and loving thoughts your way.  Thank you for your service to humanity.  God bless you!

  • Tamami Nakano

    This is not an advertising scheme. 

    I’m being strongly guided to ask you to read my blog… very peculiar, I know! But… okay I’m trying to explain why in words, but it’s not working. 

    If you read this amidst the amazing volume of support and love you have received, please do. If it calls out to you. 

    All is actually…inexplicably well.

    • Tamami Nakano

      tamaminakano.blogspot.com – forgot to put that there :P

  • Stephanie

    Dear Mastin,

    I’m so sorry for your loss and send peace, love and positivity your way. 

    Your blog posted resonated with me in so many ways today. I had a troubled childhood and when I was 15 I moved out on my own. Then, 2 months before my high school graduation, my father committed suicide. I had trouble sorting out my feelings about his death and my childhood. I knew what was wrong with me, but didn’t know how to fix it. Over the years, I had been to a couple of traditional counselors, but they weren’t what I needed. I needed something on a deeper level. 

    My journey lead me to a reading with a psychic named Wanda who started me down my spiritual path. She revealed to me that I had been looking for love all of my life, but what I didn’t realize was that I was love. I’ve known Wanda for 6 years now and we’re writing a book together that speaks about the lies that we believe about ourselves and what happens when we take all of the lies away.

    In regards to your question: What if YOU are the solution the world has been waiting for? 3 years ago, after watching The Secret I started reflecting upon the experiences that I’d had in my life and wanted to help others who have faced the same challenges that I had…empowering them to live in possibility. 

    The name of the business is called Team Awesome and our goal is to create a whole new Universe where we recognize ordinary people for doing the extraordinary, forming a community where people can inspire and be inspired, participate in win/win situations, and help empower others to become the most magnificent version of themselves. 

    I would love to talk with you more about this and would absolutely love to collaborate if it’s something that you would be interested in. I’ve been working on this for quite awhile now and it addresses the very problems and concerns that you speak of above. I look forward to connecting with you further. 

    Much love,

    Stephanie

    stephanie@stephanieveraghen.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/leah76 Leah Farmer

    We could use more of what you have to offer in the Tech space. I work for a major online retailer…which is a giant software company in disguise…and am surrounded by lots of out of tune, uncentered, and disconnected folks. Innovation needs to be powered by joy, peace, and love. Instead it seems to be fueled by fear, competition, and intimidation. It’s frustrating and frightening to a seeker like me. 

    I’ve contemplated getting into something I’ve coined “Corporate Chaplaincy” (but not only a Christian chaplaincy of course)  as a way to bridge the gap between spirit and tech. I don’t have a good definition for this as of yet…but your blog today reminded me of the need! Blessings to you and prayers of peace during your time of loss and wondering. 

  • Lea

    Dear Mastin,

    I am new to TDL, but felt compelled to comment about today’s blog. I see you are in despair about the death of your friend and need some sort of understanding as to his actions. 

    One paragraph caught my breath, “the only reason someone takes there own life is…”.
    No one should ever make this blanket statement. I have battled with bipolar disorder
    for 20 years and suicide is one of the unfortunate statistics. Without going into details,
    you can never imagine the darkness and hopelessness that a suicidal person is inundated
    with at every moment.

    I understand that you want to create a dialogue. But please consider conferring with 
    experts in this field for a better understanding, and by all means speak to people with
    different diagnosed personality disorders. 

    I am a very spiritual person, I am healthy, I live in a beautiful sunny place, I am loved.
    But some days I fall so far down the rabbit hole I can’t see out, and I rarely see it coming.

    I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend.

  • Cindilee

    Dear Mastin,

    I became still and grounded while reading this post.  I am very sorry for your loss.

    I am a corporate yoga instructor and I too am surrounded by people who soak up life work.  The employees of the corporations, who often are the best at what they offer, so need this work.  It is usually the missing link.  I am on board with you.  I feel on purpose when I do this work.  I would love to co- create together and keep the conversation alive!

    Cindi

  • Andrea

    Mastin. I have the “personal growth” gene. I also have the “dark basement of personal hell and darkness” gene. The former is still “winning”, thankfully. I am sorry about Jody. I did not know him in the personal sense, but I know him well through the pain that took him.  If there is any way I can help you to understand, or illuminate the underpinnings of the dark side,  I’m open to your questions. Namaste.

  • Christie M

    Mastin, I lost a friend to suicide two years ago this March. He and I both had contemplated taking the friendship a step further but didn’t for various reasons (well, mainly my reasons).  My dear friend was at the top of his game – handsome, athletic, smart, funny as shit, and uber talented in various arenas. NONE of his friends knew about his depression, only his family. How he hid it so well is beyond me; it must have taken a lot of energy to do that. The experience was like getting punched in the gut and then stomped on.  In the last few years of his life he had been making secret attempts to get to the heart of what had been haunting him – therapy sessions, anti-depressants, volunteering at a shelter, all to no avail. Before he left us he put all his affairs in order which included good-bye letters. I suspect he had it planned for quite some time.

    Even with having experienced the various aspects of the dying process with others, even with somewhat embracing the notion that each soul has it’s own experience and choices, and even with a very recent and very clear message/knowing that “It was not his time to make a different decision” I STILL go through waves of grief and regret, each one getting softer and shorter as time goes by. I STILL ask the question WHY. Why this, why that when he had so many people who loved him……..even though I almost did the same thing 10 years ago. I know that deep dark place where one cannot see the love nor receive it. And, yes, even though there is a part of me that understands I still ask Why. In a way this has allowed me to hold a bigger space for ALL of my thoughts and feelings around the situation, to ALLOW them to exist – grief, anger, disbelief, helplessness, love, woulda-coulda-shoulda (aka guilt), the knowing it’s all right, confusion, regret, the trauma of the sudden-ness, the
    questions, fear of death, the body-wracking sobs, the ache in the chest, depression, missing them, and even hating them for leaving. I was downright pissed at times, thinking him to be a selfish bastard. But I didn’t try to fix these emotions or push through them, but Allowed them to Be and that means to love and accept What Is. Which can be really, really fucking hard sometimes, especially when all you want to do is curl up in a ball at work or scream bloody murder while shopping for groceries or maybe even pick a fight with a friend because who we’re really mad at isn’t here anymore. These emotions can come up while in unexpected places for no apparent reason. Being with our emotions has got nothing to do with spirituality or self-help, it’s got everything to do with being human and being human can get really damn messy, F bombs and all.

    Consider the possibility Mastin, that there is nothing to Fix. Yes, our culture overall does not teach us to honor death, but instead encourages us to remain young forever and deny the wisdom of aging. A ridiculous eutopian notion that only covers the truth – the fear of dying which ultimately means the fear of the unknown. Yet there are so many resources out there now which provide a different perspective. The days of ‘sucking it up and moving on’ are dwindling.

    Our hearts crack open so we may love even MORE than we could before. By being with ourselves we give permission to others to be with themselves which makes presence of being way more powerful than words ever could be.

  • Dunjastef

    It seems like there’s already a lot of suicide prevention resources out there already. why not reach for a bigger goal of no one getting to that place in the first place? That’s where you can really make a difference. In the end all you cab so is inform but maybe reaching out to children so that they’re brought up with a healthy mindset would be valuable. ps I already think you do a lot so looking to help even more is inspiring in itself.

  • Basaltgirl

    What is tech?  Please keep me in the loop.  I have been very closely touched by sadness and darkness from my family members and want to know more of how I can help.
    thanks 

  • Deborahomobuwajo

    About your friends who took their lives, please accept my sympathies. I imagine they have raised even more questions than you’ve shared. I think that people who are drawn to this kind of personal development are depressed one way or another. They are still learning to deal with that depression. Knowing this, it is very possible that some might slip. I’m really sorry. But be encouraged, you are helping lots of people. You just can’t help all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joann.bakerpaul JoAnn Baker Paul

    Dear Mastin –

    I am deeply sorry for your losses. I take them as my own as well, for that is what they truly are. 

    When I read today’s post title, I thought, “Mastin is going to write about how all of us are the solution the world has been waiting for!”

    “The only reason someone takes their own life is because they believe that the future will not be as good as the present or the past. They have given up hope that a compelling future exists.”

    As someone who contemplated suicide for about a three-year period – someone who didn’t have nearly all that Jody had – but someone who definitely shared the same deep depression – I can say the desire to take one’s own life is far worse, far more painful, empty and bleak than the reason above. 

    Deep major depression is no way out. Hope vanished eons ago. No possibilities. Stuck in a slippery slimy well of dark emotions and self loathing you just can’t seem to climb out of. Unchanging circumstance. What have I done wrong? Why doesn’t anyone else feel like I do? Why can’t I change myself, feel better? This is shameful! Why am I so sensitive? If this is life, then I don’t want to live it.  Time to leave!

    To be in this mind space is to be in complete opposite of creativity – disconnected from the Life Force, completely ruled by the ego. Understand that in deep depression, The Evolutionary Impulse, Who We Really Are – is lost, completely invisible.

    I never attempted suicide; didn’t have it in me to hurt myself or my loved ones. It took many years of surrender, letting go, to climb out of that well, and many more to see my life with emotional detachment, from above – and  that there’s ALWAYS a way out; INFINITE CREATIVE POSSIBILITIES.

    This is my legacy: what I’m here for now – to inspire, awaken the infinite creative impulse in everyone whose lives I touch, and to let go those who choose resistance. I’m no savior, no forceful fixer of others. I allow all of us, including myself, to be as we are, accepting and embracing every one of us with empathy, compassion and love. I am you, you are me. What is the alternative? 

    WE ARE THE ONE WE, AND THE WORLD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR! 

    Love to ALL,

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000392107784 Anita Richards

    For you Mastin:
    “There was once a great Zen master who spent his career teaching his students about the transience of Matter and the need for stoicism in the face of the inevitable.  One morning he was brought news that another famous teacher, and life-long friend had died.  That afternoon, one of the Master’s students found him in the grounds of the monastery, crying.
    ‘Why do you weep, Master?’
    ‘Because my old friend is dead.’
    ‘But you have taught us to accept that nothing lasts forever, and always stressed the futility of mourning the loss of any material things.’
    ‘That is true, my son.’
    ‘Then why are you weeping at the death of your friend, Master?’
    “To which the old man replied mildly, ‘Because I feel like it.’”

    I am not hugely big on tech but can make my way around the admin / FTP side of websites in as well as in WordPress, have a basic working knowledge of HTML
    and can muddle my way through simple PHP/CSS….. is that what you mean
    by tech?  I am a graphic designer so can definitely help in that regard.
    I am willing to serve.

    Brightest blessings.

  • miki athay

    It’s not a feeling that comes from one event.  I was suicidal from grade school until early 59′s.Finally I was so emmersed in morbidity it was like E.C.T.. Prayer and getting up on one elbow to call SOME ONE ELSE and ask how they were,over and over. It;s gone, suicideal thoughts are gone. True service with total empathy saves souls round the clock. love to you Miki a. 

  • Amanda

    “I can’t help but think that one conversation with Jody, one more Loving email, a talk, could have prevented this huge loss.”  After suicide, this is a natural reaction and these questions always emerge, but I hope that this is not an admission of guilty feelings. My best friend, who I thought of as a sister, committed suicide about 3 years ago. She jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Her mom and I were the last 2 people to receive text messages from her, in what we have come to find was only minutes before she jumped. She said to me, “I love you my little Snowy, and I miss you.” I’ll never forget those words. She was in grad school and busy with exams and we had been trying to find a time to get together. I was in the middle of a recording session and didn’t see the message until a couple hours later and immediately responded, “I love you and I miss you too, let’s get together next week when you’re done with your exams!!” I didn’t know she was already gone; a couple hours later, I received the worst phone call of my life from her mom.

    She dealt with depression her whole life and she had ups and downs. She had been retreating into herself for a few months and I tried, as I always did, to get her to go out with us or just have a quiet dinner with me. She sometimes opted for the latter, but wasn’t up for the big nights out. I had the same questions you did- What if I had pushed harder? What if I had responded to her message right away?? But as the dust settled, I knew in my heart that there was nothing more I could have done, that any of us could have done. She had a disease, and unfortunately, she lost her battle with it. I had to accept that this was her decision, even if I didn’t agree with it, and I wholeheartedly did not agree with it. I feel it is extremely important for us to be present and aware of what our loved ones are going through and actively be there for them, but I think it is also important that we accept their decision, even if we do not agree. We hold their memories dear and we learn from them. We remember. And we hope that if we ever see these signs in someone else, that we can help them make the decision to stay with us.  My love for my sister is just as real and present today as it was during her short time on this great earth. She was my best friend, and now she is my angel.

    Keep processing and allow yourself to feel. My thoughts and healing energy are with you, Mastin.

  • Sue0824

    Mastin, Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt article. In 2007 I lost my brother this way. Last month a very close friend and I am only 30 years old. I have spent decades in this fast paced world seeing computer and video cameras change from rare huge novelty items of the rich to handheld a dime a dozen toys. I remembering growing up when most of history was based on america rather than my nieces focus on the glocal economy at 8 years old. It’s amazing in a world focuses so much on people being in closer contact that so many still feel alone. Even for those that want to help such as myself it’s kept secretive what we can do to help.

     Everyone wears pink for breast cancer month but suicide prevention is still reacted to as though these people chose to be in so much pain and even worth that they didnt want help from those they loved. We are making slowly making progress with race, religion, sexual orientation, and sexual freedoms when will we realize that mental health is just as important to make strides in. What can we do to make sure others don’t lose what we have? When my brother passed in 2007, I said things will change this won;t happen to someone I love again and I went into denial and it has happened again. All of these people are the good ones. The ones that have added to our lives and are smiling in their pictures. The power of social media is very large even the president often communicates through email.

    What can our generation do with our tight grasp on technology do to improve things and make the pain of suicide one of the past?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599361453 Audra Henry

    Hi Mastin, 
    It’s so interesting that death is not a popular topic. You’re right, it isn’t. It is so difficult for people to deal with the idea of the unknown, the question of what’s after all of this, and having to face their own eventual mortality. Plus, we already are dealing with so many other “living” issues that it’s hard as humans to think beyond what we know to be real or potentially “real”. Everyone also has their own limitations and boundaries that they hit emotionally when it comes to death, other people’s losses and how much they can get involved or handle. 
     I am so sorry to hear of your friends passing… I have lost many close people in my life and any loss is a great one. There are sometimes no words to describe the ebbs and flows of grieving. It truly is a strange and can be a confusingly hard process. The healing process and coming out the other side is the best part. And, there is such a difference between people who are fighting to live and those who are not and have truly given up…It almost doesn’t seem fair to the ones who desperately want to live, but maybe can’t due to illness or tragedy. And yet my heart does go out to people who take their own lives or have completely given up any will to live and maybe take their lives through other ways like addiction….They need our love the most. 
    I really think it all comes down to Hope. Bottom line. 
    Below is something that I wrote right after the shooting at Sandy Hook and posted on facebook, because I felt that so many of my friends, including myself were struggling to make sense of such a tragedy and national loss. I feel that it applies to this too…

    HOPE Definition: 
    ‘Hope is the emotional state which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life.’ Despair is the opposite of hope.

    We all have moments of sadness, despair, anger, fear, being overwhelmed and depression, and Lord knows, stress! But, I really feel that especially in these hard times, the thing we have to hang onto the most is HOPE. We have to believe or at least “try to believe” (or fake it until we start believing it) that things WILL get better, that we WILL survive “this”, whatever “this” may be-it can be different for each person. For pessimists, this concept sometimes is deemed as very pollyanna….But, you know what, people that have even a glimmer of Hope and Faith, whatever it may be in~( God or whatever name you give him), a universal lightbulb, nature, angels, atoms in the sky, your internal voice or the universe) don’t go out and shoot innocent people and children. They Just Don’t….Because for whatever reason, in their deepest heart of hearts, they have chosen to still believe that Things WILL GET BETTER!They have chosen HOPE. There are so many people out there who are truly suffering in the world and yet, many of them are able to overcome the greatest of adversity and strife. So, I just ask all of you to keep some HOPE, a little FAITH and a whole lot of LOVE in your hearts for yourselves, your loved ones and all those who are suffering out there, especially those who have lost sight of Hope. They truly… need it the most. ♥

     Hope has truly gotten me through my darkest of moments and toughest of times. In these times where people seem to be struggling more publicly (sometimes) we have to really reach out to one another and offer Hope, Love and Faith. Sometimes they don’t allow us to do that, or we don’t have a chance to and that may seem inexplicable…but there still is the possibility that why we are here is to help others learn how to grow stronger in their own inner belief and faith within themselves. Maybe we have to just keep doing that by setting the example and paving the pathway! Wishing you love, healing and fond memories of your friend to comfort you during this time and always~ Audra ♥