What’s Your Sign-Off?

trinkaThey say that we come here to teach the things we need to learn the most, and I couldn’t agree more with that. In my experience as a counselor, I’ve learned more lessons through my interactions with my clients than I would ever have if I were just bopping around in the world—and these are lessons I really needed to learn.

One lesson that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is how I now feel comfortable telling clients I love them, and it all started with Mastin Kipp. Mastin and I began working together about eight years ago, and after he had worked through some major stuff, he was feeling really solid and powerful. That day he sent me an email and signed it, “Love you, Mastin.”

That email sign-off got me thinking about affection and sharing: Why don’t I sign my emails to clients that I love with the same genuine message? The first real barrier to this was because of my training. I’d been taught (like so many of us from various institutions we are exposed to) that letting the professional guard down was detrimental to the client. But was that really so? Would Mastin, for example, think less of me if I reciprocated in my email sign-off? I didn’t think so, and it turned out that this was a place I could grow!

What ways were society’s messages about loving opposite of what felt right for me? In this example, Mastin’s pushing forward and being open about saying the simple words “love you” at the end of an email gave me permission to say it back. His boldness (and perhaps just his innate ability to love) let me let the reigns out a little and feel comfortable with being more authentic in my practice. This doesn’t always mean I tell people I love them, but it does mean that I have the permission to do so if I choose to.

I used to sign my emails, “Blessings, Trinka.” But now I’m comfortable with signing off, “Love, Trinka,” if I really do. I don’t toss the word around lightly, but love is something that makes such a difference in the world, that if we are able to express it, we reap enormous benefits. They say if you want to change the world, change yourself. I’m doing my part to change the world by looking at where I can change, myself.

What ways can you do that today, even if it’s something simple? Can you be a little braver, love a little more? I’d love to hear in the comments below!!

Love,

Trinka

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Trinka Terra is one of the featured speakers on The Daily Love’s EXTRAVAGANZA! To hear her conversation with Mastin, tune into today at 2pm PST by signing up free here.

Trinka Terra is a counselor and has run her private practice in Los Angeles for 20 years. She has been Mastin’s personal therapist for many years. Check out her website here.

  • Lisa Besaw

    Hi Trinka. I can truly relate to your post! In my profession as a RN, I have deeply connected to some of my patients over the years, and felt love for them, and even said that to them. I have been the one who said it back, after they expressed it to me, and when I was authentic in that feeling. I’m also consciously working daily to keep my heart open and make the effort to try & approach everyone I come into contact with from my children to strangers, from a place of love and respect. You inspired me today!

  • Susan Hosken

    Trinka,

    I treat my sign offs very seriously and have had a few over the years. Nowadays I sign of “lots of love from susanJOY” I have JOY in my name now to remind me to live in JOY and I always want to send people lots of love

    lots of love from susanJOY

  • lizilynx

    Thank you, Trinka, for this share 🙂 I really relate to the ‘giving ourselves permission’ to be who we really are and allow ourselves to let our feelings be seen & heard. Today I’m being a little braver and loving more by acknowledging my own value & giving myself permission to share (teach) my lessons in service to others.
    Looking forward to hearing you on the TDL Extravaganza! Sending Love, Joy and Gratitude :o)