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What My Boyfriend Forgetting My Birthday Taught Me About Love!

Nicole MooreOne year my boyfriend forgot my birthday and it taught me a lot about love.

I woke up on the morning of my birthday and checked my phone expecting to find a loving text from my love.

When I didn’t see anything, I felt a slight pang of pain in my heart. I consoled myself….”he’s probably going to give me a call later or send flowers,” I thought.

8am, 9am, 10am…still nothing.

I went to a workout class and balled my eyes out thinking, “He forgot about me. He doesn’t care about me.”

Every time I checked my phone loving texts, Facebook messages and voicemails were streaming in.

But none of it lifted me up.

Instead, I sunk deeper into my despair because I hadn’t received anything from him.

My sadness turned to anger and I started to attack him in my mind. Then I started to attack myself for letting this “ruin my day.”   I was caught in an ego tailspin.

I thought I was suffering because of what was happening on the outside.

But in reality, I was suffering because of my perception.

I wasn’t focused on all the love that I was receiving. I was focused on lack.

As A Course in Miracles says, I was caught in the illusion of “special love,” the idea that love from one special romantic person matters more than love from anybody else, and that without it, I am incomplete.

Luckily, the Uni-verse wanted to teach me a lesson that day.

I headed to Whole Foods still in my miserable state and while wandering the aisles I “randomly” bumped into a friend.

He asked me how I was doing and how it was going with my guy.  I started to tear up as I told him it was my birthday and that he had forgotten it.

My friend hugged me and said, “Will you come with me for a second? I want to show you something.”

I followed him and he stopped in front of the flowers section. “Choose whichever ones you like,” he said.

Wow.

I was floored. Here I was receiving flowers from a man on my birthday after all.

The Uni-verse had been sending me nudges all day.

“You are loved. You are loved. You are loved,” it whispered to me.

But it wasn’t until that moment that I could hear the message.

In the cab ride home I was clutching the flowers and crying again, but this time out of joy.

What I realized in that moment is love is NEVER missing, it’s only our perception that makes us think it is.

And that the Uni-verse really does love me.  It loves you, too.

Love is always in abundant supply if we can open our minds to see it.

When we focus on getting love from one special person, we will suffer. When we focus instead on giving love and being open to receiving love in all its forms, love is what we will feel.

Are you suffering right now because you think you don’t have love from one special person in your life?

If so, I invite you to try out an exercise I recommend to my clients called “looking for evidence of love.”

Instead of focusing on the love that you think is missing right now, start focusing on all of the ways you are already loved right now.

Maybe it’s your mom, your friends, your kids, your coworkers, the sunshine warming your shoulders, or even the guy at Starbucks giving you a free latte.

For one day, focus on all of the ways you are receiving love from so many different sources.

The day after, focus on GIVING as much love as you possibly can.

Your world will change.  All with a simple shift of perception.

Xo,

Nicole

PS: Are you wondering what happened with my boyfriend?  He didn’t actually forget my birthday. On that particular day, he wasn’t paying attention to what date it was (he rarely does) so he didn’t realize that the day of my birthday had come up already. When I finally let him know it was my birthday, he was in tears (he’s a super sensitive guy) and sent me six messages and videos apologizing and sending kisses to my heart. So the love I thought was missing – wasn’t missing after all :)

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Nicole Moore, Love & Relationship Coach and founder of Love Works, helps women unlock their hearts and create lasting love.  Nicole coaches women to break free from their romantic fears so they can love with an open heart. She teaches women how to fall in love with themselves, create amazing lives and shift their mindsets so they can finally create the love and life they desire. Nicole received her Life Coaching Certification from NYU.  www.loveworksmethod.com

  • Lauren

    love this! just what I needed to hear! :)

  • Jeannie

    Simply Beautiful

  • Pat

    A great message beautifully told. Yes to it all.

  • penelopepath

    so beautifully told i witness stories of this everyday including my own … appreciate appreciate appreciate x

  • http://www.carolinefrenette.com/ Master Intuitive Coach Carolin

    Beautifully said Nicole : Instead of focusing on the love that you think is missing right now, start focusing on all of the ways you are already loved right now.

  • Niloo

    Great story Nicole! And I’ve SO been there. I love what you said about believing in the illusion of “Special love”. I’m going to work on this one!

  • Teresa

    I love your story. I have been doing this very thing this past weekend especially! I didn’t hear from someone I wanted to hear from. I new better than to let it bother me. I had the back and forth monkeys in my mind saying things like, Teresa!!! You know you matter. What he is going through is not about you and then the monkey jumps to the other branch. The voice in my head says, Isn’t he even thinking about me? I mean really, how hard is it to send a quick text or even a phone call? Then, monkey jumps back… Look at all the love you have around you, look at how much you are appreciated, take care of yourself and show yourself the love and tender care you so seek outside of yourself… Teresa, you know better… But why does my heart hurt then? Welcome the feeling and embrace it. Let it pass through. I had people buy my lunch Friday and a completely different person buy my dinner Friday night. These weren’t people I was even with. They told me I had inspired them and they wanted to thank me. I have love all around me. The way you worded it is what has caused a shift for me. If we focus on love from ONE special person, we will suffer. YEAH! Why does it have to be just that person? I am a giver and a lover. I try to give love and kindness to everyone and I see how I receive it back. Thank you.

  • Tonya

    Well stated Nicole and I also LOVE and appreciate your story. I have started an Inspirational Quotation memoir and I began this symposium with your quote of:

    ~When we focus on getting love from one special person, we will suffer. When we focus instead on giving love and being open to receiving love in all its forms, love is what we will feel~

    I completely agree with you and you have opened up my heart to feeling and realizing love in every instance whether expected or unexpected in my life. I particularly relate to the the part of when we “focus on getting love from one special person, then we suffer…” but if we focus on giving and receiving love…then we will feel it in it’s abundance. Thank you for saving my feelings!

  • lalala

    Omg, thank you sooo much, I can’t thank you enough. I was too ”caught in the illusion of “special love,” ” Wanting love from one special person and never focusing on love all the love I was receiving. Even though the universe has been sending me lots of signs of love I didn’t fully understand the lesson until I read this. Now it all looks so clear. It feels like it was written for me. A direct message from the universe :) Thank you so much. Now’s the time to do your exercises :D

  • Carie Bean

    Really enjoyed reading this. I’ve fallen in to this trap many times! A change in our perception changes what we see. :)

  • I Wonder, A Question

    What does it say if I may ask dear readers as an ex partner of mine missed my birthday, didn’t come to my family dinner, didn’t see her all weekend & their excuse was I had booked a hotel the next weekend which she had previously booked. I did enjoy the next weekend with her yet I felt betrayed& she never thought anything of it. She said she loved me on numerous occasions yet I saw so many discrepancies throughout our time together I am beginning to wonder can a person say they love you yet in reality live a life of lies without even realising what their actions do to another person & considering they believe they are very spiritual & in tune with themselves? Well I hope they unwittingly did so….

  • esh

    I feel so hurt… it’s just that I really wanted these friendships to work out… so BADLY…in the beginning, we really clicked… but then lately it was so apparent that it just wasn’t what I thought… it’s like the honey moon stage was over…

    my high expectations just came crashing down. I feel so shitty, I feel like I’m not loved, not capable to be loved, all I wanted to have lifelong friends, Why does this keep happening… for God to keep dangling that carrot in front of me, only to laugh and snatch it away when I am so close? Rinse and repeat… probably for the 100th time…

    I feel so sad. But thanks a lot for your article, it was really awesome. maybe it’s my perception that needs to be changed.. and that I am loved no matter what… maybe I needed this experience to learn what I need to do… but it was very nice of your friend to do what he did… <3 such synchronicity!

  • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

    I love this message, Nicole!
    We often tend to put too much emphasis and too many expectations on ONE person or ONE event. Like you said, it doesn’t matter how much stuff other people do for us, tell us, show us, if that ONE special person doesn’t do something, it hurts.

    Rationally, I know this is the ego. The ego wants to be noticed and be important to someone else. But what we need to remember at all times is the Universe loves us ALWAYS. EVERYTHING is FOR us. For our greater good. It’s ALL a gift.
    Granted, sometimes this can be difficult to live and remember… like on our birthdays when the one we love most seems to forget. ;)
    But all we can do is keep reminding ourselves, keep trying, keep learning, keep growing. :)

    In peace and Love,
    Sarah
    http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/06/imagine-everybody-loves-you.html

  • venus

    Great Blog!I went through the same thing.I was sad and refusing to see all other love that was offered… looking for love from a single person.But after reading this blog i am enlightened.You re so damn right….. !!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Lazzie

    Nice story! I’m looking for an excuse for my boyfriend and i found yours. My bf had planed the trip of 3 weeks travelling abroad, and he didn’t notice that he wont be with me for my birthday. I were kind of dissapointed and ofcouse, sad. I want to stay cool, i want to be like: oh i don’t care, doesn’t matter, but the truth is i was think about it all day. Then, i start to ask myself a dozen of “teenager questions” :why did he do that.

  • hurt

    After 3
    years of relationship my boyfriend forgot my birthday because he was with
    friends… I was very disappointed and hurt. Two days later it was me who told him
    that he forgot my birthday. All I Received was “I am sorry” – no gift, no
    flower, because he said “I was at work and I don’t have time to buy you
    something” – that happened 4 days later. I decided to break up with him. One
    year later he is married for another woman.

  • mary walter

    i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband john smith, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Marys, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I met my friend miss Lina and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Prophet Abbas who did wonders on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss Lina ask me to contact Prophet Abbas. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great prophet did for me and my husband, you can contact Prophet Abbas on any problem in this world, he is very nice man, here is his contact [email protected]. He is the best doctor, prophet on the internet so far his email [email protected]

  • Rita

    My name is Emily Rita, after 4 years in relationship with my boyfriend, he suddenly started behaving strangely, he started going out with other girls, i tried all i could to stop him but it eventually let to breakup, i was so emotionally devastated because i really did love him until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Ikedi Ero who helps people cast spell to heal broken relationships and marriages and to regain back lost love, at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted him via email, he helped me cast a spell and within 72hours my boyfriend came back begging me to come back to him and today, we are happily together. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problems via email: [email protected]. Good luck

  • Curly Sue

    I didn’t enjoy reading this. I don’t know why I even came here. the article wasn’t bad, it was actually good. But I am a woman that has N.E.V.E.R been remembered on her birthday by a boyfriend. So, I personally just feel that the other partner does not care. They don’t care enough to remember you. Think about all the other things he was able to remember both before & after your birthday. Think about it. He could’ve even gone to a corner store and gotten a card for $1 that said Happy Birthday. This “person” you’re with doesn’t care. I know all about these types of men. Is this guy you’re seeing “older” than you, or “significantly older” that you? Then he ought to know better. He “does” know better but doesn’t care. Trust me. I personally have dropped older & much older men and I date younger guys now. I can’t believe I actually chose older guys over them, and wasted my time. Younger men are romantic & caring. I really appreciate them. and older man will never get another second of my time now because they don’t care about anyone but themselves.

  • Lori

    Your sweet story made a difference today for me. Thank you.

  • als

    this really hit home for me.. thanks for writing this. i appreciate it.

  • koolguy

    Wow this was so cliché and cheesy. BS.

  • tiffany

    I wish I had read this article when my boyfriend had forgotten my birthday. Thanks for the wonderful new insight!

  • Chintan Parikh

    I wish He would of known about http://www.birthde.com

  • SusieinLove

    well I just had my 20th birthday yesterday. All day I had been waiting by my phone just anticipating the call or text from my boyfriend to lovingly wish me a great day. but by the time 5:00 came around I just assumed I had a man who didn’t remember my birthday. I finally caved in and texted him myself to see if he would send probes to his brain to tell me but to no avail. I actually had to tell him, “Well, I officially hit 20 today.” He then replied, “Happy birthday, Sexy Diva.” He was supposed to come by my place but never showed. I guess in the hours that went by, an ex of mine unexpectedly showed up. I spent the remaining hours of my day with him instead since my boyfriend was clearly never going to make an appearance. But at the end of the day, I was sad. I had wanted the one person who made my heart sore to at least get me something. He didn’t get me anything for valentine’s day. He didn’t even make up for that. He said he was backed up on bills so i guess i should be sympathetic towards that but that feeling to be adored in some way still roams. It wasn’t until i read this article that i started to be lifted from my pity party. To find the better things, the love that you do receive from family and friends is just as good, if not better.

  • amanda32

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  • johngrivera

    Today was my birthday and my boyfriend forgot that I was turning 25 even though I have been reminding him how I couldn’t wait for this day because I was just happy to be turning 25.

    Most people tell me that perhaps he could have been busy with work or school but that is funny they should mention this because the other day he told me he was given today off so he would not have to work. Besides I know he was at home because I went on his instagram and saw that he posted some selfies to his profile and one of them he put a caption that said “bored at home.”

    Some of his friends commented telling him to text them so I know he was not that busy that he couldn’t take 10 seconds out of his day to text the words “happy birthday” to me. If someone was nice to me and bought me a gift while yes I understand that we do feel love from other people that defeats the purpose here because we want love from that one person. I am in a relationship with this man because I love him if I didn’t love him I wouldn’t be in this relationship.

    If the man doesn’t bother to say at least a happy birthday to you then what does that say about the man? Sure you can get love from other people but what about getting love from your own relationship? Does that mean nothing? If you don’t get love from him then why are you even in a relationship with this person? That is why I find it so hard that he failed to say something so simple like happy birthday when I have been reminding him throughout the week how I couldn’t wait to finally turn 25.

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