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What To Do When People Do You Wrong!

You’re angry. You’re hurt. Someone has done you wrong. No matter how hard you try to “let it go,” all your mind can do is fantasize, in detail, about all the vengeful ways you’ll make. them. pay.

Been there? Yeah, me too.

Here’s the problem. Holding onto anger or resentment severely limits your potential in business and life. It’s a HUGE, unnecessary obstacle in terms of creativity, wealth creation and worst of all, it gives you bad breath (OK, I made that last one up).

If you’ve ever had trouble forgiving someone, this video is for you. I’ll tell you exactly how I handle these situations, including my two favorite techniques to strengthen your own forgiveness muscles.

In the comments below, let me know your two biggest insights from this video.

BONUS POINTS: If you’ve got lingering anger or resentment renting precious space in your consciousness, use the strategies right now and report your results below.

xo

Marie

P.S. Interested in more articles to help you realize your own greatest potential and use your unique talents to change the world, while creating the lifestyle you love? Then sign-up for free weekly updates here.

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Marie Forleo is bestselling author and creator of the award-winning show, MarieTV.com which reaches women in 188 countries around the world. She has been featured on Forbes.com, Oprah Radio and The New York Times among others.  www.marieforleo.com  or hook up with Marie at http://twitter.com/marieforleo/ and http://www.facebook.com/marieforleo

  • Lisa

    Hi,
    Awesome article but how do you forgive my sister when she’s not sorry or doesnt feel like she did anything wrong to me? My second question is how do I forgive my sister as she lives in the same house as me & continues to hurt me?

    • Cinnamonrose Girl

       It sounds like you are in a difficult spot, Lisa.
      You have ongoing hurt and just forgiving the past hurts won’t prevent new ones. Your job is twofold: you have to focus on forgiving the heart/core of your sister, not actions – try to project compassion to her for the pain she must feel BUT also, learn to set firm boundaries with her and her actions: do not engage in debate, respond to cutting remarks, etc. You can not change her but you do not need to feed the energy of your exchanges. Take a walk or put on headphones, meditate, give yourself space to breath and nurture yourself and practice minding the gap, in other words, focus on the gap between her act and your response and learn to change your response by mindfullness at that time.

  • Lisa

    Hi,
    Awesome article but how do you forgive my sister when she’s not sorry or doesnt feel like she did anything wrong to me? My second question is how do I forgive my sister as she lives in the same house as me & continues to hurt me?

    • Cinnamonrose Girl

       It sounds like you are in a difficult spot, Lisa.
      You have ongoing hurt and just forgiving the past hurts won’t prevent new ones. Your job is twofold: you have to focus on forgiving the heart/core of your sister, not actions – try to project compassion to her for the pain she must feel BUT also, learn to set firm boundaries with her and her actions: do not engage in debate, respond to cutting remarks, etc. You can not change her but you do not need to feed the energy of your exchanges. Take a walk or put on headphones, meditate, give yourself space to breath and nurture yourself and practice minding the gap, in other words, focus on the gap between her act and your response and learn to change your response by mindfullness at that time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joann.bakerpaul JoAnn Baker Paul

    What would LOVE do? Let it go…..let it ALL go…..let go of the hot coal that continues to burn YOU…..Let the fire of resentment go out in YOUR heart first….

  • http://www.facebook.com/joann.bakerpaul JoAnn Baker Paul

    What would LOVE do? Let it go…..let it ALL go…..let go of the hot coal that continues to burn YOU…..Let the fire of resentment go out in YOUR heart first….

  • http://www.facebook.com/joann.bakerpaul JoAnn Baker Paul

    What would LOVE do? Let it go…..let it ALL go…..let go of the hot coal that continues to burn YOU…..Let the fire of resentment go out in YOUR heart first….

  • http://www.facebook.com/joann.bakerpaul JoAnn Baker Paul

    What would LOVE do? Let it go…..let it ALL go…..let go of the hot coal that continues to burn YOU…..Let the fire of resentment go out in YOUR heart first….

  • Susanob26

    thank u for this, have been so hurt from my ex husband that it has taken years to get over it, but now few years on see him as a very troubled and lonely soul that is so troubled from his past and so afraid to confront his own demons that it just makes me sad, I do wish him all the best and let him go in love and peace

  • Susanob26

    thank u for this, have been so hurt from my ex husband that it has taken years to get over it, but now few years on see him as a very troubled and lonely soul that is so troubled from his past and so afraid to confront his own demons that it just makes me sad, I do wish him all the best and let him go in love and peace

  • lizilynx

    What would Love do IS the answer!! Great  topic, great presentation….LOVE You, Marie!! :o)

  • lizilynx

    What would Love do IS the answer!! Great  topic, great presentation….LOVE You, Marie!! :o)

  • Julrdrgz

    Love for who? The perpetrator or yourself? I really can’t get past the hurt, the blatant disrespect, the callousness, the selfishness. I’m not ready to forgive. 

    But if I turn it around, What Would Love Do for myself? Then I can begin to forgive my foolishness, my naiveté, my trust, my hope. I would allow me to be angry and hurt, but I would encourage me to put it behind me. Find something new. Distract myself. Trust that better things are ahead. 

    And give myself a hug.

  • Julrdrgz

    Love for who? The perpetrator or yourself? I really can’t get past the hurt, the blatant disrespect, the callousness, the selfishness. I’m not ready to forgive. 

    But if I turn it around, What Would Love Do for myself? Then I can begin to forgive my foolishness, my naiveté, my trust, my hope. I would allow me to be angry and hurt, but I would encourage me to put it behind me. Find something new. Distract myself. Trust that better things are ahead. 

    And give myself a hug.

  • L D Dickerson

    This was literally an answered prayer! I had prayed yesterday about learning how to forgive…ask and ye shall receive! I will always ask myself what love would do from now on, and I will think of forgiveness as a courageous act. Powerful stuff! Thanks again!

  • L D Dickerson

    This was literally an answered prayer! I had prayed yesterday about learning how to forgive…ask and ye shall receive! I will always ask myself what love would do from now on, and I will think of forgiveness as a courageous act. Powerful stuff! Thanks again!

  • http://www.erindonley.com/ Erin Donley

    You’re asking people to smother the pain with forgiveness? Marie, you could have gone way deeper… and usually you do!

    This
    “forgiveness remedy” denies the real goods from being seen and dealt with
    in a more potent way. How about learning what boundaries WE (as the
    victim) could set as a result of what happened? What about exploring our
    role in communication that went array, so we can learn to speak from a
    place of greater honesty and directness? What about taking this opportunity to determine the people we TRULY want in our work and lives?

    THEN, we’ve evolved… THEN,
    forgiveness for ourselves and others is REAL. — This is what I teach
    in my practice and TV show, Reveal What’s Real. http://www.erindonley.com/

    Marie, put me on your communication team and let’s take this conversation to a new level! — You have such influence, and we need people like you to tell us something new about everything. — Love you madly.

  • http://www.erindonley.com/ Erin Donley

    You’re asking people to smother the pain with forgiveness? Marie, you could have gone way deeper… and usually you do!

    This
    “forgiveness remedy” denies the real goods from being seen and dealt with
    in a more potent way. How about learning what boundaries WE (as the
    victim) could set as a result of what happened? What about exploring our
    role in communication that went array, so we can learn to speak from a
    place of greater honesty and directness? What about taking this opportunity to determine the people we TRULY want in our work and lives?

    THEN, we’ve evolved… THEN,
    forgiveness for ourselves and others is REAL. — This is what I teach
    in my practice and TV show, Reveal What’s Real. http://www.erindonley.com/

    Marie, put me on your communication team and let’s take this conversation to a new level! — You have such influence, and we need people like you to tell us something new about everything. — Love you madly.

  • Guest

    Is it possible that you’ve forgiven someone but decided its still best if they are out of your life? When trust is lost is forgiveness an answer that says you should keep the person around still?

    • Marissa Osborne

      Yes! Sometimes there are people whether enemy, acquaintance, friend or even family who seem to always bring you down. In a repetitive case, or very severe situation it may be in your best interest to remove them from your lives. U are only looking out for yourself and possibly even others. What effects you and changes you can change others around you so do what yougot to do for you! :)

  • Guest

    Is it possible that you’ve forgiven someone but decided its still best if they are out of your life? When trust is lost is forgiveness an answer that says you should keep the person around still?

  • susansmithlaycock

    It helps me a lot to think about where the other person might be coming from and how that informed the choices they made (to hurt me).  Sometimes it’s easier to have compassion for the one who ‘done ya’ when you can see that they’re coming from a place of fear, inadequacy.   Also, I just saw this cute thing on Etsy: it’s a Dammit Doll.  You hold the legs and beat it against  something whilst screaming DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!  Kinda gets it out of your system.  Nature hates a vacuum…get it out and let something better rent space there!

  • susansmithlaycock

    It helps me a lot to think about where the other person might be coming from and how that informed the choices they made (to hurt me).  Sometimes it’s easier to have compassion for the one who ‘done ya’ when you can see that they’re coming from a place of fear, inadequacy.   Also, I just saw this cute thing on Etsy: it’s a Dammit Doll.  You hold the legs and beat it against  something whilst screaming DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!  Kinda gets it out of your system.  Nature hates a vacuum…get it out and let something better rent space there!

  • Cinnamonrose Girl

    This was amazingly glib and shallow, rehashing familiar quotes. It is impossible to just “think” your way to forgiveness – it is hard work – you have to examine and acknowledge the pain, your role in it,  the other person’s role and make an effort to change with energy and with mind. This almost re-victimizes someone – “oh well that person in the film forgave so whats wrong with you that you can’t?” It teaches to suppress and put on a f ace, instead of dealing with it by sitting with it.   It does more harm than good to people to pretend there is no reason for pain. It is more about someone afraid of discomfort so lets rush thru the work of forgiveness…

  • Cinnamonrose Girl

    This was amazingly glib and shallow, rehashing familiar quotes. It is impossible to just “think” your way to forgiveness – it is hard work – you have to examine and acknowledge the pain, your role in it,  the other person’s role and make an effort to change with energy and with mind. This almost re-victimizes someone – “oh well that person in the film forgave so whats wrong with you that you can’t?” It teaches to suppress and put on a f ace, instead of dealing with it by sitting with it.   It does more harm than good to people to pretend there is no reason for pain. It is more about someone afraid of discomfort so lets rush thru the work of forgiveness…

  • Hope

     I’ll make my story brief and hope that it all makes sense, when I’ve finished. In late 2006 I started a business. By 2008 I had finally started making a name for the company and myself. Then, by  2010 , I begin to experience growing pains, needing capital to grow the company and the economy was in a downturn. During the course of restructuring the company, my wife of only 6 months at the time was suspended after 15 years of service as a detective. Already, having financial difficulties, didn’t help our situation. Then after five months of suspension, she was fired and told that it was because of a conviction I had 30 years prior to meeting her, as a 22 year old for fighting over a car (verbally). I’m 52 as of this writing and honestly, had forgotten all about what I did 30 years ago. However, I was later informed by my current business attorney, that the reason the department let her go, was due to internal fighting between her and her superiors.

    She then called my legal advisers requesting not to do business with me. She called each employee of my company and held a secret meeting, including business associates and told each of them, that I was a criminal, got her fired, stole her money, “of which went into the business” and that she would be leaving me, and seeking a court order to take over the company. Employees already upset, due to late pay checks and other matters, agreed to conspire against me and lead an online attack, with untrue postings, even going as far as to making death threats.

    Potential investors and new clients now read whats online and have turned me away at every turn.  So, I’ve come to terms and closing my business in the next few months. But, I’ve forgiving all 9 employees, my wife and those I thought where my dear friends. I’ve cried many days and nights, bleeding in silence, and living with a pain that never seems to go away. I hold no malice or hatred in my heart for any of them, I’ve let it all go. I also, know that I’m finished now, and my reputation destroyed, they accomplished their goal.  I will always, be grateful for the time, God, has allowed me on this earth. My children and grandchildren, who have remained close and dear to me. So, my question is “how does one forgive himself”.

    • Racheal

      Kill her, that’s the best revenge, don’t listen to all this forgiving.

    • Monique

      I wished I read this earlier. You should talk to an attorney and see if you can still file a lawsuit for defamation for all the trouble she put you through.