What to do when you can’t change what is!

So, I am paying my first taxes ever with The Daily Love. It’s pretty cool. When I got the bill from my accountant, I was like, “WHAT! I owe HOW MUCH?”

And I immediately went into why it was a bummer to pay this much in taxes. And then I stopped, took a breath and gathered myself. I can’t NOT pay my taxes, of course, so it’s a situation I cannot change. I must accept it. And so in a moment like this, when we cannot change a situation, we can only begin to change the way we view it.

And so I started my gratitude practice: “What can I be grateful for in this situation?”

Here’s my list:

Paying taxes means I made a profit – this is something to be SUPER grateful for.

I have enough money in the bank to pay my taxes and still be okay – AWESOME.

I am, for the first time, contributing to America by paying taxes through a corporation that I created – that’s cool!

This is the first time an enterprise I’ve started has ever made a profit.

I have a great accountant who helped me get everything sorted out on time.

I am able to get credit card points by paying my taxes using my credit card.

By paying my taxes, I can keep operating as a business and continue to grow.

I could keep going, but this was a good part of the list. And after I looked at this long list, it was obvious to me that this was a good thing. So, instead of being BUMMED to pay my taxes, I am actually paying them with joy and gratitude.

Obviously this blog is not just about taxes. The idea that when we cannot change a situation, we must begin to change the way we view it – shows us how much power we have in life. I’m not saying that all you have to do is “be positive”. That’s crap and I don’t believe it. But you CAN ALWAYS give situations an EMPOWERING meaning. There is a difference between positivity and empowerment. Positivity to an excess can be dangerous. Empowerment is possible and pragmatic in every situation – and if we are to THRIVE, necessary in every situation!

Are there any things in your life that you can’t change? How can you change the way you see them? How can you give an empowering meaning to those hard things you can’t change?

Leave a comment in the section below and let’s discuss! All kinds of support and ideas can be found in the comments! It’s where TDL REALLY comes alive!



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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

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  • Firstly congrats on being so successful that you have to pay tax ! 😉
    I am also about to do my first tax return for my business – I am hoping that my account will save me money and I will pay less but I will also now be grateful for the money which has come into my life to
    Enable me to have a business I love and get to help people and be paid well for it … Thanks

  • Mary Wiseman

    Death and taxes….um, who does want to do either of these? Yet, they are the constants in our lives.  Great tip about using a credit card to pay taxes-then gaining points.  Mastin keep showing the love and thanks for inspiring.

  • Carol

    Congratulations on paying taxes on your business.  
    I have learned to appreciate so many things that I used to take for granted after I experienced a dark time in my life.  It was truly a turning point in my life.I appreciate your emails.

  • Tropicaltrouble

    I love how you point out that excess positivity is not a good thing,there IS a huge difference in finding empowering qualities about a negative seeming situation versus what I call the ” the rose colored glasses syndrome”. I love reading your work,and look forward to it daily.

  • Theronnivp

    We must pay taxes. 🙂

  • Jessica Carney

    Thanks for the “positive shot”, sometimes needed, always useful. Time to update the “Apple a day…” phrase– “Postive thoughts all day, keep the doctor away” LOL! Anyway, thanks! Have a beautiful day.

  • Lucille Rogers

    Gratitude is getting a real focus from me right now & your message hit the spot…positive is different and sometimes ‘cheesy’ – truly choosing to view something differently is an empowering experience & often something only you know within yourself…something I continue to work on daily.  Thank you for your work Mastin – keep doing what you’re doing as I have no doubt you are speaking into so many peoples lives….including a growing fan base in Sydney! Thank you!

  • Jodi Brown

    Hel-lo.  Thank YOU for talking straight to the people.  I have one friend in particular who is always bitching about having a huge tax bill and I always silently say to  myself, “I should have your problems.” 

    It’s just one more way you continue to give, Mastin.  Good on ya!

  • Laura Zaccardi

    Congratulations on your financial success. It is important to keep your focus on gratitude, no doubt! 
    I’ve found in my journey that some things just suck for a long period of time. And only I can define that period (such as the death of a significant other). At the point where the grief is manageable (for lack of a better word), it is then time to look at the gifts that come forward. Often I think well meaning people try to force us to see the “positive” and don’t allow us to experience the full spectrum of emotions that naturally spring forth in any difficult situation. Through the accumulation of time, step by step, breath by breath, we can establish a new perspective and one that embraces the life ahead. It is not moving on, but it is moving forward. 
    I would not be the person I am today in the absence of my difficulties. Once I harvest the lessons I am grateful. Sometimes when I’m in the thick of it I just need to be there. Other times, the template of even more difficult times reminds me that I will survive, I will be okay, good, then great. 
    Thanks for helping others understand that there is a difference between extreme “positive thinking” (which to me is a veil for numbing feelings), and shifting the perspective. Even shifting the perspective of “oh bummer, taxes” can be a real statement of power! I’ve had to use such thinking when training for marathons, searching for jobs, etc.
    Here’s to the opportunity to take a powerful stance, even in the shadows.

  • DL

    I never thought about the difference between positivity and empowerment. Thank you for that insight; I will for sure be applying it to my life!

  • Hope

    You bring up an excellent point:  perspective.  I wish we all could look at paying taxes as an honor–to contribute to the greater good of our country, ourselves, our “common wealth”.  We have representation–our country was founded on it–so why not respect ourselves and those who can contribute. Our country supports our freedom to think,speak, grow, commute, breathe clean air and drink clean water etc.  May we all remind ourselves to be grateful to contribute our share . Perhaps we should change the word “tax” to something more benevolent such as “contribution” ….

  • HAHA! As a family with two self-employeed people, I get that tax bill too and normally FREAK OUT! This is a great reminder of all the wonderful things that tax bill represents. I’m going to print it out and pull it out when my bill comes. Thanks as always Mastin! And congratulations on becoming profitable this year. That is an AMAZING accomplishment! XO

  • goaliemom72

    Mastin I have been on an amazing spiritual journey with the Uni-verse this year.  Several times in the last month you’re daily dose has been so powerful in my life, speaking directly to me!  Today was so powerful, I have to comment.  Yesterday I was on an airplane home and as I was looking out into the clouds I heard a strong voice inside me say that when I got home, my world was going to be rocked and that I needed to be strong.  The rest of the journey home was slightly uncomfortable,  but I visualized peace and the reason for whatever the experience I was about to encounter.  I got home and in the mail was a letter from the IRS.  I had done my taxes wrong in 2010 and there stood a bill for $8,500!  The old Holly would have dropped to her knees, went into solitude, darkness, sadness, anger, negativity and depression.  The new Holly knew that somewhere in all of this was the answer to so many things I have been asking the Uni-verse for guidance for months now.  There have been some decisions I’ve needed help with in regards to my home, my children, my own business that I want to start, etc and now this bill from the IRS will HELP me make those decisions and move on.  Yes, a bill that as a single mom of 2 children I don’t have the money to pay any of it, but I know this experience is here to HELP me, not HURT me.  Before I went to bed last night I thanked the universe for this bill (after I cuddled in bed with my kids and had ice cream of course) because I knew it was the answer to so many things that have kept me at a standstill.  I was grateful for this experience and slept like a baby.  Who would’ve thought I would react the way I did?  I am so blessed to be on an incredible journey. And then to top it all off your post this morning WOW! TAXES in September?!  Who would’ve thought?  I’m not surprised at all!! It was another confirmation for me from the Uni-verse that this is all good.  When you change your thought process, you change your life and the way you view things.  I honestly can’t wait for what lays ahead of me as I figure out how to pay my bill and move forward.  Thank you so much for your daily dose of encouragement in my life!  I look forward to it each and every day.

  • Congratulations to you on having to pay taxes!  A huge accomplishment to take great pride in achieving.  
    To further your list a little bit, one cannot forget the benefits of being a contributing member of American society and everything that goes with it!  By paying taxes you are making services accessible to people who maybe cannot otherwise pay for services themselves, and I think that is one of the greatest expression of Daily Love we can give.  By supporting our social service systems through payment of taxes, we are giving of ourselves so that other’s can realize their own dreams.

    You’ve correctly identified the personal gains tax-paying signifies which is an incredible accomplishment.  Something to feel very proud about.  Also take pride in the good that you are doing by contributing to your Country.  That is something to feel very proud about as well.  

    Huge Congratulations to you, Mastin!  Much Love. <3

  • Mastin – I LOVE your list.  That is a great perspective to have.   I had a really bad experience with management at my job a couple ago that left me feeling defeated and even more resentful about my crappy job.  I had a hard time finding any way of reframing that incident to make it positive.  However, that experience was sort of a last straw for me since I’ve been dealing with a totally toxic work environment for entirely too long – and so I kicked my search for a new job into high gear and the timing couldn’t have been better!  I found a FANTASTIC opportunity!  I just yesterday accepted a new job as a therapist with a fabulous residential drug rehab program AND I start in 2 weeks!  There’s ALWAYS a positive side to every situation!  It’s all in how you frame it!
    Love and light,@Brooke_R_Baker:twitter 

  • DianneU22

    I woke up one morning about 15 yrs. ago and couldn’t move without excruciating back pain. I went from dr. to dr., specialist to specialist.  I have had one procedure after another to the point of nearly bankrupting our family finances and still have constant, excruciating pain.  I have to admit, even though I believe in Creator’s plan for us all, that this situation has made me ask myself many hard questions. And usually NOT receiving any insightful answers.  Why?  Why me? was the first line of questions, but after all these years of working hard to accept my life the way it is – limits and all – the question has become What?  What can I do in my present situation that would be helpful to my family, my friends or even the world?  All I am physically capable of doing most days is laying down and crocheting.  I’ve crocheted hundreds of hats for newborns and am constantly looking for other charities to make items for.  It still seems to me, deep in my soul, that I’m missing something in my situation.  Perhaps it’s just hoping that somehow it will change back to how I used to be – capable, able, very active in life and the world.  Often, I beg Creator to PLEASE show me what purpose I have, today, this moment, exactly as I am.  So far, the answer has not shown itself to me, but I continue to pray and hope it will come. 
       In the meantime, I’d like to thank you for your daily doses of love, compassion and a different point of view.  It helps so much to know that everyone has their struggles, and I am not alone in my situation.  Even your message today, about finding happiness in paying your taxes helps me see that I must change my own thoughts about my situation before it can ever truly change.  The work is constant and always on my mind.  I am so eternally grateful for your beautiful spirit of sharing, honesty and helpful reminders.  I haven’t achieved the peace of heart and mind that I long for, but I know if I continue to work at my thoughts, I will.   You give me hope and the knowledge that I CAN find my truth and purpose if I continue to work at it.   Thank you so much for all you do for so many people.  You are truly a beautiful soul with a high purpose.  Sharing that with all of us is an amazing gift to the world and all of us in it.   Thanks for being you and for sharing yourself and your insights with us all.

  • A mentor used to say to me… “Jo, it’s not what happens to you, but how you choose to respond that defines you as a person”. Sometimes that’s hard to hear but Oh So True. Thank you for your message. Jo

  • Loved this post today, of all days…after a double break in my big toe sets me off my path of competing in a title kickboxing match next month in Ireland.
    Now I actually have the opportunity in this huge “setback” to identify my gratitudes. When I set down to write them I actually came up with many (how amazing).The serenity prayer reminds me to accept the things I cannot change. Even better is the reminder to look for the gratitude that lies within those circumstances that can not be changed.I love your posts. Always so relevant, refreshing, and rewarding when I put into practice what you share with me + the world.Thank you Mastin, for your generous contribution to all of us and your beautiful and REAL perspective on living a life of fullness and joy.Lisa-

  • Well, the biggest thing in my life that I CANNOT change is…I was diagnosed with cancer (melanoma) in the back of my left eye at the age of 24, and I got it again last year at the age of 41 in a different spot in the same eye (2 in 10,000 cases). Because I was mostly blind after the tumor removal, my eye drifted slightly to the left at the age of 29. My EGO being what it was at the time-for me-was worse than having cancer. I had such a hard time looking at people because I could tell that many of them had  a difficult time knowing which eye to look at when I spoke.  This was such a dramatic change for me because I had always seen myself as a good looking woman who could take advantage of that any time I wanted-this made it only harder for me.  So, how did I and how do I continue to empower myself with what many people would call a, “HUGE BUMMER? ”  I use my eye as my spiritual teacher which has enabled me to focus on my inner radiant LIGHT which is far more beautiful than my outer human shell. Because of my eye, I am helping others’ do the same through one on one mentoring, my blog, and guest speaker events.  It has been my greatest gift besides my 5 year old (who I also can’t change…LOL).  “To resist change is to resist Life. Life is constant change.  Welcome it. ”  Cinnmon Lofton    butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/ 

  • Jake’s Mom

    I really enjoyed this post and loved the comment that “Positivity to an excess can be dangerous.”  I couldn’t agree more! This statement merits elaboration in a future column!  Thanks for your daily inspiration.

  • Fancy

    Love this. I automatically started thinking about how I changed my perspective on my student loans. It completely changed me and I blissfully pay them on time and with gratitude. It’s done wonders for me. Congrats!

  • Thanks, Mastin. I have a long history of trying to fix people and know it never works.  I have a friend who’s dear who was recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I read an alternative book on it that Dr. Mercola recommends and she was mad at me when I told her about it and hardly spoke to me for a while.  Now I see her having side effects from the meds – trouble seeing, which leads to blindness and I just have to pray to surrender, though I feel tortured.

  • Ria

    Thanks for this great article Mastin and congrats on being  so successful.

  • CLJ

    I want to be one more person expressing appreciation for your distinguishing between relentless forced positivity vs. self-empowerment.  It’s such an important difference !

    In my own case,
    I’ve had DSPS for decades, and mostly I’ve been able to keep the extremely late hours and still have some kind of a life. Now I have a neighbor who makes noise just outside my window sometimes as early as 7 am.  This is one of the days he did it, so I only slept 4.5 hours  ~ hope this is readable !
    I hate being deprived of sleep like this, 
    if I have perfect quiet my DSPS causes me to get to sleep about 30 minutes later every night until I reached about 6 am.  It’s happened multiple times.  So I’m deciding to look at this neighbor as a restraint:  when his noise wakes me after 3 to 5 hours of sleep, I naturally fall asleep earlier than usual that night.  It’s keeping my DSPS mostly within the “mild” range these days (sleep delayed until approximately 1 or 2 am).This will come in handy the next time I have to be some place in the early morning.

  • Congratualtions, Mastin! When I read thee very first line “I am paying my first taxes ever with The Daily Love.” I was so happy for you! I immediately recalled Louise Hay’s words about being grateful when you pay your bills. And to be honest I got a little disappointed when I read about your first reaction, but the you made cheered me up again:) That’s  the spirit!
    And about your question – I think I am lucky but right I cannot think of anything that I couldn’t change or influence. So at this moment in time I’ve got full responsibility for my life and for eho I am.