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What to do when you don’t want to make the effort!

mk_treesYou know, sometimes, I just don’t want to write. I don’t want to be “Mr. Inspiration” and I don’t always want to be happy.

But – here’s the thing, I’m not supposed to.

And neither are you.

Expecting to “always” be a certain way isn’t human, it’s rather robotic. Somewhere, somehow we’ve got this notion that we are “only” supposed to be happy, positive and excited about life. But, that’s not what makes us human.

No.

It’s the dips. The ups and downs. The all arounds that make us human.

We are here to experience the entire contract of the human experience, which means excitement AND upset.

I’ve been going through a little bit of a lull since finishing the first draft of my book. I was so filled with creative energy, and now I feel like a slug. I also didn’t work out for about a month while I was up in Ojai finishing the book, and I’ve started getting active again – and so my body is tired from that, too.

So, the emotional low + the physical drain make me not want to do anything right now. I just extended a TON of energy and now all I want to do is sleep and recharge. I don’t even really want to be writing this blog right now.

But, I am.

Why?

Because that is what pros do. You see, you aren’t always going to WANT to do stuff. But, it’s the masters who act even though they don’t want to. It’s the masters that push through and finish, because the work is most important. Getting words on the page and in the blog, that is what is most important.

My emotions come and go, and yes I take time for myself, but the expression is what matters. I used to beat myself up for having emotional down times or being tired. I thought I was missing out on life, or that all of a sudden I would spontaneously combust.

But none of that is true. It’s a part of the ebb and flow of life.

I don’t expect to always be happy, I simply accept what is. And that acceptance is key. This is what self-love is all about, really, acceptance and the ability to Love yourself right where you are.

In doing so we give ourselves permission to be fully human, not part human. And this permission is what opens up the energy of life so that we can live full lives.

So, I might not be feeling 1000% today, I might not want to show up, but I did – and this blog is proof of it.

Can you show up, even though you don’t want to? Do you have hard times and can you make it through, even though you don’t want do? Can you make the tough choice to show up – even though you don’t want to?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

 

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

 

Join soulmates Mastin Kipp & Jenna Hall LIVE in Hollywood on Feb 9th for the first TDL LIVE event: The Love & Relationship Workshop! Livestream tickets are also available. Click here to grab your ticket before it sells out!

  • Tamami Nakano

    you’re perfect, thank you.

  • CecilieSadolin

    I find it very difficult when to act through my emotions and when to listen to them. I have always had huge discussions with myself everytime I was headed for og through a big task or assignment, because I always use to work either 120% or nothing at all. I’ve spent many years in therapy learning to listen to my body and to start creating a healthy balance. The question is now how do you find the balance then? When do you know when you have to listen to yourself, and when should you push yourself through a difficult time?

    • Eve

      That exactly is my challenge:
      When do I listen to my body (moods etc.) and do take a rest, a nap or some days of hibernation, and when is it best to ‘override’ my moods (tiredness) etc.?
      Listening to my body and really understanding what would be best for me. Now. Is the hardest thing for me, as it feels …

      • CecilieSadolin

        Hi Eve. I agree with you. But it conflicts with Mastins point, and that’s what confuses me.  

        • Dazz

          Hi Cecilie & Eve. I was pondering your question as I read it, as ‘balance’ is a consistent theme that is coming up in a lot of what I’m reading lately.  It’s what we all aspire to master in ourselves. 

          As I thought more about it, what came to me was the importance of knowing and being aligned with your own purpose in life.  When that’s clear, then it makes it easier to query your own thoughts/emotions in any moment – eg. “What action would best serve me to honour my life purpose?”

          Sometimes, it might be a matter of taking a day out to recharge and then get back into things tomorrow with a clearer focus.  That’d make you more productive as you’ll be 100% ‘in the moment’ the next day, rather than just 20% today.

          Or maybe, you’re really tired but you know that if you give yourself a personal ‘push’ to get something done, you’ll have a sense of achievement afterwards.  Then you can go and reward yourself with a deep sleep and have a clear conscience.

          But if you decide to take the day out to recharge, that needs to be the focus.  Clear your mind and completely ‘chill’.  Visualise yourself as a battery in a recharger being fed by Uni-versal energy.  Don’t put any energy into what you think you should be ‘doing’ or judging yourself or beating yourself up – that’ll just deplete your energy further.  Just completely enJOY every moment.

          That’s my 2 cents worth and I hope it resonates with you or helps in some way.

          Congrats to Mastin for yet another thought-provoking post. I love my daily dose of Daily Love and I applaud him for the human/spiritual ‘balance’ he brings to us every day.  It’s truly appreciated and LOVED!

  • Dbaiaz

    I love and needed this so much! In a couple of minutes I:ll be taking my SAT 1… and I’ve really put off the lag of studying for it even though I know the results are well worth it; same goes for swimming… rigorous course work (like the IB Programme) and just life in general. It’s funny how often we get so caught up in the emotion, as opposed to just being thankful… because we are humans we have a colorful spectrum of emotions. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have this balance. Thank your so much Mastin Kipp. This will forever be on the front of my mind. 

    Thank you. 

  • Tlrf12

    I am reading this as i am on the bus on my way to pastry school. I work full time and go to class on the weekends. I really didnt want to ‘show up’ today. So tired of the constant go, go, go. And then i open my email and see this post from you. It was definitely a message for me. So thank you. With the affirmation that i will do my best today and that is perfect, i will get through this class. Thanks so much!

  • Maiken

    Mastin – you get to me nearly every single day! I just love your blog – it’s so human!!!!

  • rosie

    Oh this is exactly what I needed!
    I thought being too lazy to wake up to dance class sometimes means I don’t want it enough which hurts me to think that way because That’s all I ever wanted.
    But now I usually motivate myself and think about the bigger purpose and manifest about it on my way to class.

    Thank you Mastin!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000312149157 Cathy Pullins

    Thank you.  I am in gratitude to you and others who share their lives so that we may share the journey and be encouraged.  I thank God for the internet and media age.  It can be Yucky!  And it can be Sweeeeet! I am glad to be connect to good via The Daily Love and others.

    Today this note served as affirmation of perseverance 

  • Healer

    Mastin,
    Your post made me laugh. Here’s why. A few years back, I was so tired that I made an appointment with my naturapath (a good idea because sometimes there’s an actual medical cause for fatigue).
    My naturapath said something that I’ll never forget & in fact use with my own clients now. He simply said, “if you’re tired, sleep.” So, I did, & damn if it didn’t work! LOL!
    Really, the take home lesson for me was to LISTEN to my body (DUH, I’m in the healthcare field, you’de think I would have this one down!).
    One of Don Miguel Ruiz’s four agreements is “Do your best,” but what I like about this is, he also states (and I’m paraphrasing) that your best will be better on days when you ate well than it is on days when you are sick. In other words, your best will vary from day to day. Some days from minute to minute it seems!
    So thanks for writing your blog, even though you didn’t feel so perky….and take a power nap here & there, it really works!
    Much love!
    Karen

  • lussile

    This is really inspiring and helped me shed some of my guilt I feel these days when even getting up from bed seems like too much work to do. Knowing that others also feel that way sometimes make it feel more natural, part of being human.

  • Rhea

    Thanks for this…  As a person on a spiritual path I tend to be hard on myself, stating “I should know better, why am I feeling this way..”  Your words were comforting.. Thank you, job well done!

  • Tal

    Thank you so much for this post. It comes at the perfect time for me – the past few days, I’ve been feeling unmotivated and have even started to beat myself up for not accomplishing the simple goals I had set for myself for this week. I’ve been talking to family and friends, and the overall message I’ve been relaying is that I just don’t feel like doing anything. But your post here is a HUGE reminder that it’s totally okay to feel that way, and what matters is that I at least try to do the tasks anyway, even if they don’t get completely done. I’m so grateful I read this today :) 

    • Anna

      Tal, thank you for sharing that! I, too, feel incredibly guilty when I don’t feel “productive enough” or don’t get all of my to-do list done for the day or the week. Plus, I am a graduate student while most of my friends are working full-time jobs, so I often feel as though I am being lazier simply because my schedule is flexible and different. It’s easy to get down on yourself and not appreciate all of the work that you ARE doing. But I agree, it’s the effort that counts! And a big thank you to Mastin for the encouragement! :)

  • Amccoan

    Thanks for posting this! Its exactly what i needed to read. Ive been doing exactly that, beating myself up when im having a rough day. I was doing really good getting back on my path, in touch with myself and then something happened that brought the past up again and i thought id moved on, and apparently i had more work to do. I was so bummed out i started beating myself up for not having done it well. But this is a good reminder that even if there is still work to do, thats life, and so i had better keep on going. Even if i do feel like shit cause thats whats going to matter in the end when i finally heal.  Thank you so much!

  • Tiffany

    Thank you for your great article!!! I finish cleaning today…though I don’t want to ;O

  • Mary_eiss

    This was what I needed to hear today.  Thank you for showing up because your words have made me take care of things I have been avoiding.  Your words have pushed me to do things I needed to do…. so thankful for your blog “)

  • ChaCha

    I just read all the blogs. There is sometimes something up in the planets that also takes us all on a journey that we are unaware of.  I too had a rather productive day yesterday but I was also tired and so I went to bed early and said I would get up and get on with it tomorrow. So here it is and yes doing a bit everyday is key. I am seeing that in my life and what I wish to accomplish.  I think life is more complicated and more is expected of us and time is running faster and we are all trying to keep up. whew!
    Thank you everyone for sharing. It is the time when we feel we are alone ..,. well we are not!
     

  • Beth

    Hey Mastin, I love your post today and your truth speaking!

  • Casey Skillins

    Thank you, Mastin! You really inspired me to show up today. I was feeling EXACTLY as you mentioned, it has been a long week and I am a bit under the weather. I wanted to feel sorry for my self, blah blah blah, and just go back to bed all the while using that as a reason to do the “I told you so” mental dance, a self fulfilling prophecy stating that I don’t have what it takes, Iam not strong enough, etc.
    Your blog helped me reassess what is actually important for today, it helped me cut out the mean spirited ego thoughts and put downs, and come clear on what really matters.  I already feel SO much better! I sent out two important emails that I’ve been meaning to send. With this tiny surge of energy and inspiration, I am inspired to do MORE! Its like a snowball effect. Just because I got clear and showed up even in a tiny way, I know I will be able to make the most out of my ‘lazy Saturday’ as well as get the rest I need to recharge for a new week. THANK YOU!!!!!!! <3

  • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    First of all…I need to say…I AM SOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! Why? To be on TDL!!! And the front page? I had no idea. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw my picture. How Sweet It Is this morning, and I want to say….THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! The timing couldn’t be more funny because I am going to Santa Barbara today to celebrate my birthday with a few close friends, and I am having a hard time getting away from the computer…LOL! When Mastin first asked me to write something for TDL, I had to go to work- 15 mins after reading his post.  Conclusion? STAY PRESENT!!!! Even when I am somewhere that has no access to a… computer…LOL! So, I will have to read the comments when I am supposed to. Thank you Mastin and Team for giving me a chance to be an instrument of God’s love. As for your post today? My favorite quote from my mentor, Cinnamon Lofton, is: “Some times what we NEED for our spiritual growth isn’t always what we WANT!” I did not WANT eye cancer. I did not WANT A LOT of things; and in retrospect, they have helped me remember who I truly am: LOVE! JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU!!! Don’t forget!
    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ 

    • lizilynx

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATHLEEN :o) Synchronicities in life ARE our AMAZING MIRACLES! What a day for YOU!
       
      Love and being present as Love in the moment helps us show up….even if the “effort” seems more than we are capable of in the moment….Love’s expression as a committment helps us push through…and we find that we have S T R E T C H E D ourselves beyond where we had thought we were able to…:o)

      • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

        THANK YOU so much Liz. You are so right on! I have been stretching myself like crazy and I am pushing through (sometimes with grace…sometimes not). It is an amazing journey of willingness. After all, it is a choice! I really appreciate your contact with me and all your help. Love to you, Kathleen

  • Majestic

    You got me – lol. Just when I thought you were going to ride the band wagon with me a while, you jumped off.

    For quite some time, I haven’t done a darn thing! And now I’m so full of the nothingness I can burst. I need employent, and I have a lot of crap to get out of my life; so I’ve begun by getting me some garbage bags and I shall my purge.

    Thanks for the wakeup call. It’s good to have a strong example.

    Majestic

  • Geldon

    I think it’s kind of ok to not show up sometimes. 

    We are vibrating beings and our life is a contrast of expansion and contraction. We came here for this.

    If I don’t feel like showing up or I don’t feel the commitment to do something, and the experience of not feeling to show up or do that something, is a contracting thought process…. I become very present within that state and move away from thoughts – and then I reach for a better feeling and expand. 

    Sometimes that expansion may set me back on the path of the very thing I did not feel I wanted to show up to or do – and sometimes it does not. Both are as they are – and both are ok. Nine times out of Ten I will follow my feelings to be true – rather than my perception of that which is outside of me. 

    Sometimes following a desire to not turn up can be expanding in itself.

    If I followed a desire of NOT wanting to bungy jump off  a 400 foot high bridge (assuming circumstances had placed such an opportunity in front of me) – I reckon I would feel pretty good. The main person who would ‘grow’ from ‘conquering my fears’ and jumping would be me. And as there are always many routes………. the possibility of gaining the same benefit of mind without jumping should be considered… no?

    An interesting thought……… what would people have made of a blog that read:-

     ‘I am simply not showing up today – service will resume a familiar pattern soon’. 

    Maybe a different path or experience would have presented itself that would have been fodder for a blog topic?

    How cool to think what may have happened?

    How Mastin may have ended up feeling if he followed his desire not to show up? How those feelings would be processed? Would his not turning up have had a positive or negative result…. in his perception? In ours? What exciting ‘hen clucking’ energy would his ‘leave of absence’ have created in us? What fear maybe? What perceived permission would that course of action ultimately have given us in our own lives? What debate may have ensued upon his return? How much did he lose by forging forward driven by a perception of what was right? Does the Master not sit in silence at times?

    In another chapter of my life ………… I used to hit the gym, circuit classes and the pool like  a man possessed. Afraid of any potential weight gain. Determined to cancel out every calorie consumed – and often with an aim to burn more. I never really, in truth, wanted to show up. One day I did not. One day I just let go and reached for flow. A funny thing happened. The Universe ‘tweaked’ and ‘shifted’ my reality and it manifested me a bicycle! It hooked me up with a friend who loves walking in the forest; it dulled my appetite for extra red wine and led me to a more active daily life. In short it equaled my frantic exercise schedule with more pleasurable pursuits in which effort was not needed to show up. (And I have not gained a pound in weight – so end result maintained).

    As a side bonus – I met new people.

    Interestingly …… one of the people I met sent me the original link for The Daily Love. SO maybe, just maybe I would not have enjoyed/benefited from all these fabulous blogs and be leaving my thoughts here now – if I had not decided to just not show up?

    Maybe sometimes we do what we think is right. Maybe we do what we think others are expecting of us. Maybe we perceive by not showing up we will be letting others down. Maybe we do stuff from a fear base perspective? Maybe we do stuff from habit? 

    Would we be? Letting others down? in all circumstances?

    I understand of course that the man waiting for the heart transplant surgery would prefer his surgeon to show up. And I understand there are many many times we really do need to show up and so therefore do. But sometimes, just sometimes …. maybe it is ok not to show up? 

    We create our own worlds and everything we do is perfect. It is so. One life as this you.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/6ZZI6QAAZZPRH7OOUWQRTK57AA Gail

    I love how things (people, words, circumstances) occur exactly when I need them most. Thank you for being the light at the end of the tunnel of wallowing and self-pity I have been lost in for the last couple of weeks. I appreciate the love. I now just need to claim it for myself and allow myself to be as I am without getting too caught up in the darkness. I now allow it to pass through me and move on so I can experience what’s next. I wonder what it will be? That’s where the excitement and mystery of life reside.

  • Hadiya

    Thank you so much for this post, Mastin. The timing is truly divine.

  • Rutherfordsg

    Thanks, Mastin, for the your “showing up” message today.  It really hit home.  You see, I am a 58 year old woman who watched for years as her mother stopped showing up, emotionally and physically.  First it was small things, and later, the big events, family gatherings, times when the day was for her, times when I needed her to be present as my mother.  Now she has slipped into the latter stages of dementia and I know that she can’t show up anymore.  In a way, it’s a relief to us both:)  But the gift I have gotten from this experience is that even if she couldn’t always show up for me, I can show up for her, for my family, for my friends and most importantly, for myself.  Now when I go to see her, even on days when there’s so much else on my plate to do, I enter the room fully present for her and meet her wherever she is that day.  And I have learned to show up for my husband, my kids, my grandkids, even when the the temptation not to is there. I can look back on days when I showed up and days that I didn’t.  The sweet reward is how I feel at the end of the day and the momentum it gives me for the next.

  • Billie kaman

    Hey TDL’ers, Mastin thank you for this one . I’m a daily “enjoyer” of your blog.   You talked about emotions that come and go, the ebb and the flow of moment in life, and one of my fav quotes come up ” Emotions are like waves in the ocean, they come and go, but it’s up to you which one you want to surf” Thank you for always show up it confirms in me that I’m not a hopeless “pursuer” of the every day life.  Love to you all

  • pb

    thank you for the inspiring words. I needed to hear just that. A Miracle!

  • Chloesmom1229

    Mastin: I am so excited for your book to be completed & to buy many copies! You would be surprised of the impact and love you have sent into my life- Also you always seem to know what I need to hear & I think of Gabby Bernstein – that’s definitely a miracle each time I read a tweet or like this blog today! I consciously give myself 1 hour a day to feel my emotions- good or challenging I embrace it! Cry or laugh- sometimes I yell- I set my alarm on my iPhone & let my heart & mind feel the depths of my anger, sadness- the fear- I then come back to a place of knowing everything is working in my favor! I thank God for the consistent hope I have & all my blessings! In 2010 my father passed away- in 2011 my daughter passed away & this past October my mom passed away of a heart attack so I have had to learn to embrace where I am in terms of emotion & it’s a process- but I try – I still go forward & I believe the rest will fall into place! I adore your heart- I adore your tweets & I again am waiting with love for the first of your many books to come! Love to you Mastin- I feel like I have known you forever! Even my guy will say- what did Mastin blog today- or who did you find on his blog- your blog introduced me to the great Gabby Bernstein whose work has also assisted me in this process of grieving!!
    Love to u & your wife always!!

  • VS

    Couldn’t relate more…which is not far from the usual when it comes to your blogs. But this, today…spot on. I’ll show up tomorrow. ;p

  • Heather Lynn

    I never thought that making the effort even when I didn’t want to made me a Master (Master-ette) :)  – I didn’t want to head to the gym this morning.. but I now realize that if I want to master my physical body, I must bring myself there anyway.  This was an incredible reminder for me to take care of “me” – so that I can be my best self and walk with the good energy that I, and those all around me love. 

    In gratitude,
    Heather Lynn

  • Becky G.

    I am an artist and once I have finished a sculpture I often have a hard time getting back in my studio to  start a new one. After I force myself back in I find that the creative energy starts flowing again and my excitement and motivation comes back, thankfully! Just “showing up” in my studio always works.

  • Vickicunningham46

    I saw you on Super Soul Sunday today and love your story and your commitment to spiritual growth and utilizing the power we have within.  I am an absolute believer in this but is always good to hear others talk of it. It reinforces the belief  and commitment. I watch Super Soul Sunday always, record it so I dont miss an episode. 

  • Jorge Perez

    Hola. Just saw you at the end of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday program on OWN and was intrigued to learn more about you so I decided to view your site.

    Surprisingly your new entry ” What to do when you dont want to make the effort” hit a grand nerve with how I’ve been feeling in dealing with the loss of my most influential being on this earth, my mom.
    Love the line and perspective of “It’s the masters who act even though they do not want to” .
    Being responsible for an arts organization in our grand city of Chicago with ages ranging from 4 years old to senior citizens, gave me the strength to work everyday despite my depressing feelings of lossing my mom to a tragic accident.  I kept trying to use the saying “the show must go on” for our center and audiences despite how I was feeling which was the desire to roll under a rock and question the all mighty why did mom have to leave this earth in this tragic way. 
     
    For a while I thought I was being a hypocrite in moving forward when I did not want to do so. But down deep inside I felt it was my responsibility as a leader and director to lead and fulfill the many lives that awaited to be servied.
    How enlightning to see your blog and know that it’s o.k. to move on despite not having the same energy from one moment to another. Why should we? We are humans and need to act on our reactions of life. Happy and Sad / Life and Death.  

    I will say it has been an incredible season, both professionally but more importantly  personally in dealing with my moms tragic loss and moving on.
    It is our LOVE for self and others that unites and keeps us going.
    I discovered her legacy will continue to shine through my work, which she loved and is my greatest inpiration for being.  As is my partner, family, friends, colleagues and the thousands we service.

    Despite my lows these past few months, reading your blog today validates what I’ve been feeling.  We need to embrace the ups and downs of life and move forward as masters.

    Gracias to you, your blog and the daily love.

    Jorge

  • Ionelam Baciu

    Hi there Mastin !
    Thank you for this inspiring and straight from the heart post.

    This is what you triggered into my mind after reading you.

    Brian Tracy used to say, Eat your frog. And by that he meant to Start
    yourday by doing What you dont Want and dont feel Like d oing.
    The mots important Mark between average and highly qualifies and paix professionals.
    So,
    It is very important to be able to clarify why we are not in the mood.
    Is it because you feel tired and kinda scotchy in your head, coz maybe you slept late last night, you ate a very consistent dish and didnt balance with enough liquids or because you woke up very fast and almost scared by your alarm clock (believe it or not this counts a lot).
    Or is it because the child in you wants to play, asks for fun and maybe attention, to feel loved.
    We must not ignore these signs. But listen and take the right kind of action to bring back the good feeling.
    And on top of all that, something that i discovered recently and i started practicing on a daily basis, and it works like crazy magic,
    You type sur youtube
    How to recite “nam myoho rengue kyo”
    Une mantra in sanscrit who
    Instantly fast and simple
    Takes away the bad feeling and bring back a sort of freshness.
    Of hope and good mood.
    You dont have to know or understand its meaning, oh no. You just have to sing it.

    Bye bye bad mood.

    Yes, finally, the downs are excusables in like one sitation out of eight.
    But just imagine how much precious time and good quality fun you can save
    If you learn to be a good doctor for your soul.
    Wow. Mama mia.

    Love, gentleness and simple action every day.

    Ps: If you do want to rock big time workwise and in terms of money money entering your bank account, read brian tracy.s goodie “eat that frog”.

  • Stefanie

    This came at a great time.  I’ve been super busy with work and life and everything that can come with it (exciting things, too).  So I’m doing my backreading of TDL and I’m sitting here going “you have to go to bed.  you’re exhausted.  you’ve been out of work sick for two days.  go.  sleep.  now.”  But I can’t stop.  It’s like a little kid “Five more minutes Mom!”

    So I said okay.  Read this last one.  And boy was it a doozy.  I’m a semi-active, trying to be more healthy 28 year old female.  I’m used to dancing once a week and randomly working out through yoga, coaching a girls running club, etc.  I moved across the country and those patterns slowly faded away.  I tried different dance studios, nothing clicked like my comfort zone of 2.5 years.  Tried yoga studios…great but I only had the money for the free week trial (get it.  I have no money haha.)  I keep coming up with excuses…it’s too far to drive to dance.  You’re exhausted.  You wake up at 4:50 am for work – how are you going to get in a workout before then?  After work is for more work.  All that bologna.  Well I can tell you that in the past two months I have worked out a total of three times.  THREE FREAKIN’ times.

    You’re post has motivated me to stop looking at the free trials of gyms, move my butt and go.  Go for a walk, run on the beach (yeah I live two blocks from the beach and still can’t motivate myself to do anything), lift the weights collecting dust under your couch.  JUST MOVE.  Stop watching tv and move.

    So thank you. :)  Good luck to you!  And keep the good word comin’.