What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure - Daily Love with Mastin Kipp

What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure

Martine Holston“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela

No matter who you are, what you do, how much money you make, how great your relationship is, how much you weigh, or how much you believe in yourself – there will always come a time when you will feel like a failure.

I recently passed the one year anniversary of quitting my job and starting my life design coaching business. Rather than feeling elated, joyful, and happy for living my life, I felt like crap.

I felt like I “should” be farther along in my business, done more fun things during my time off, and crossed some major life landmarks in the last year. I felt like I hadn’t done anything important and was questioning why I quit my job in the first place.

I knew I needed a cosmic chiropractic adjustment. As usual, the universe came at me from several different angles to give me a massive realignment. Here are the lessons I learned from my spiritual smack down.

Use these two strategies the next time you feel like a failure to remind yourself that you’ve done more and are more than you give yourself credit for, and you’re on the way to something great. Keep looking up.

 1. Create a brag list

When you are feeling crappy and like you haven’t done “enough” and “should” do/be/make/have more – STOP.

Make a list of all the things you have accomplished. Brag. Remind yourself that you have done much more than you are giving yourself credit for. Celebrate your progress. People say to focus on gratitude when you’re feeling low – I also want you to focus on acknowledgment.

I made a brag list of my 2013 accomplishments and it dramatically shifted my energy. Remembering that I flew to Paris on a moment’s notice, launched a successful business, and held free lecture series just in the last six months was a major confidence and morale boost.

So often we wait for other people to acknowledge our efforts. If you’re feeling like a failure, give yourself a few gold stars and share them with others. They will mirror back to you how great you are doing and give you a much needed lift.

2. Define your why

If you are feeling lost and like you don’t know where you’re headed, go back to why you are doing it. This was the big whack over the head I received from the universe. When you start losing sight of WHY you’re doing something (especially if it is challenging or scary), it all falls apart.

I believe in having a “north star” – guiding values or principles that define how you choose to live/love/do business.  Write your personal mission statement or manifesto, define your personal set of values, identify your core desired feelings.

Decide how you choose to be in the world and announce it. Without having a foundation in WHY you are choosing to do something, it is easy to give up when things get tough. You need a bigger reason to stay in alignment and continue to do the work.

I realized that I had never written a mission statement for my business. Inside I know why I do what I do, why I know the service is important. But it was just a feeling, a sense. I’d never written it down or shared it.  It was time to declare it to the world (and to myself).

When I returned to my why – and announced it to my followers – I immediately felt realigned and full of passion to continue doing my work. I also sold out my coaching program.

By doing these two simple but powerful exercises – writing my brag list and writing my mission statement – I not only stopped feeling like a failure, I was inspired and excited to move forward.

Look at where you’ve been and where you’re going to understand and appreciate where you are. Acknowledge, celebrate, be seen – and keep going. (Tweet-worthy!)



Martine Holston left her dream job to “retire” at 30 and build her dream life, and now teaches people how to do the same. Do this free exercise to take the first step).  Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to see what “retired” life looks like.