Is the fear of what other people think about you holding you back from your success? This can be a big one when it comes to living your dreams.
In this week’s episode of DailyLoveTV – I answer the question, “What do I do when my friends are jealous of my success?”
The answer may surprise you.
Remember what my friend and mentor Tony Robbins says and it’s tweet-worthy - “People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.”(Click to tweet)
If you don’t have time to watch the video or can’t we’ve posted the transcript below.
Hey welcome to Daily Love TV. Here you will learn how to take action and make it real. I’m your host, Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love.com. Daily Love TV is a collaborative process. I’m here to give you the best information I know to help you take your life to the next level. If you have a question for me, send an email to [email protected].
I got a great question in from Ravarti, a Daily Love reader in India. Ravarti asks, “What do you do when your own friends are jealous of your success and they talk to you only when they need help?” Great question Ravarti. Before I dive in, first I want to congratulate you on your success. It’s not easy making it happen so congrats.
As you begin to live more and more authentically, serving other people and really making a mark on the world, the whole dynamic of your life can change. When you’re down and out it really shows who cares about you. But, when you step into success, those who keep telling you the truth and support you in your expansion are the people you want to surround yourself with.
I remember in my own life, I had a friend who was there for me when I was down and out recovering from addiction. But, as I stepped more and more into my own power, he called me selfish and that I was getting “too big for my britches.” Over the course of time I realized that he only liked me or acted positively towards me when I didn’t get too big. It was weird because he kept telling me how big or successful he thought I could be, but whenever I got to that point, he would just pull back, guilt trip me, or just be negative. It was as if I was getting mixed messages.
Eventually we couldn’t be friends anymore because it was just too tense and toxic between us. I’m not saying that you have to ditch your friends. I still have plenty of friends from when I was in high school that are my real friends. They keep me focused, they keep me grounded, but they also want me to be big, expansive, and happy.
So here are some ideas on how to know what to do with your friends.
- Do your friends actually celebrate your success?
It’s easy to bond over failure, sadness, and anger. Those states create instant empathy because we’ve all been there and want to show up for our friends. However, it’s not as easy to bond over success. When someone around us is successful, it can push all the buttons of their friends and create jealousy. If someone is always jealous of you that may not be someone you want to keep in your inner circle.
- Do your friends also add value to your life?
If you’re watching Daily Love TV chances are you are the Oprah of your friends. They come to you for advice. You are their inspiration, and you love helping others. And that probably fills you up to be able to help your friends. But, have you ever given and given and had a giving hangover because it wasn’t reciprocated. Friendship is a two-way street. If you’re doing all the giving, you aren’t their friend. You are their free therapist. They should either add value to your life too or feel free to start charging them hourly for your services.
- Remember, not all friendships need to be super deep.
When we get on the spiritual path we create a deeper sense of connection and that is super rad. But not everyone’s going to go there with you. It’s okay to have some friends that are going to go super deep with you, and others where friends are just more of a surface friendship in conversation. Try not to judge people as being “spiritual” or “un-spiritual” because that judgement would be mighty un-spiritual of you, wouldn’t it?
- Create friendships with people who inspire you.
Seek out new friendships with people who lift you up and who are a step ahead of you. I have deep connections with my old friends from Kansas but I have a totally different connection with my new friends like Gabby Bernstein, Marie Forleo, Kris Carr. I don’t have the history with Gabs Marie or Kris that I do with my old friends, but these ladies inspire me to become more and we can talk about things that we all have in common since we are all incredibly successful doing what we love. I started out these friendships and they have been very rewarding and different than my other friendships, and that’s okay. Remember what my friend and mentor Tony Robbins says and it’s tweet-worthy! - “People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.” (Click to tweet) So take a look at your friends and make a list. Who’s adding value to your life? Who’s just sucking your energy? Who’s someone you want to be friends with?
Here’s your challenge for the week – spend less time with a friend who seems to suck your energy and say no to them and spend more time with a new friend who inspires you. In the comments below let me know your friend action plan. Who are you going to be letting go of and who do you want to bring in? Your time is valuable and you deserve someone to give you as much as you love giving to others.
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Until next time this is Mastin Kipp saying take action and make it real.
Marie Forleo’s B-School is here and I’m so excited because she has the best training I know on what it takes to turn your passion and turn it into a business. We’ve set up some amazing free bonuses to inspire you to get onto B-School training. Head on over to Bschool.TheDailyLove.com to check it all out – it all ends March 5th so get on it!
In the comments below, let me know how you plan on moving forward with those certain someone’s. Whats your jealous friend action plan?
Support, community and lots of action happens in the comments on the blog. So join us!
Keep on shining, even when you think others won’t approve. We need your light, your love and your success!
Lots of LOVE,
P.S. Start 2014 off with heart! Join us in for our deep and powerful “Enter the Heart” evenings, full of Kundalini Yoga, Heart Therapy and a new opening to connecting to who you really are. Tickets will sell out, so don’t sit on it.
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
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