What You Are Doing That You Need To STOP (Now!!)

You may be doing something that is really bad for you so my message today is muy importante! (I’m headed to Costa Rica in two days so I’m practicing mi español!!) My warning has to do with how you treat yourself.  It is probably not news to you that most of us are extremely hard on ourselves. You are aware being critical of yourself is not an act of love – so why do you still do it?

This is the question I answer in today’s vlog, as well as offer you a fast-acting tool to stop it.

Here’s what you may be doing that is no bueno: you are using self-criticism as a way to motivate yourself.  So much so that you are not even aware of how reliant on being hard on yourself you have become.

Consider how you muster up the mojo to do things.  Do you motivate yourself by looking at the ways you think you should be more, better, or different until the pain of what you judge about yourself pushes you forward? Are you often paralyzed by perfection because you are waiting to be “good enough” before you take a step toward your desires and dreams?

I love this quote from Michael Beckwith: “Pain pushes until vision pulls.”  I encourage you to STOP allowing the pain of self-judgment to push you. Instead, hold a positive vision of the Truth of who you are and allow it to pull you forward.

Seek to move from a place of inspiration rather than motivation. (Tweet-worthy!)

Being hard on yourself is a behavior pattern that has gotten you results in life – but at what cost? You can that TRUST kindness and loving compassion are actually more effective than harshness. But I get that it can be hard to break this bad habit, so in the vlog I show you a part of me that I have not shared with you before to teach you a quick-fix tool for combating self-criticism.

Think of it this way: If you treated your friends like you treat yourself, would you have any?  Would you ever say to a friend, “You aren’t doing enough,” or “You really failed at that,” or “If you lost five pounds, I’d love you more.”  Of course not!!! So why tolerate behavior toward yourself you would not engage in with someone you care about?!?

I have a commitment to myself that I do not sit down to create these blogs/vlogs I send to you unless I am feeling inspired. If there is any harshness, judgment or “shoulds” motivating me, I wait until I am in a place of LOVE so that inspiration flows.

Create from inspiration.  Celebrate the amazingness that is YOU and use the truth of who you are to pull you. Give the mean girl or guy motivator a new job description: A bestie who speaks to you with love, who reminds you that you are ENOUGH, and has only your best interests at heart.

And please leave comments below and share with me the self-accepting and affirming statements you are committed to saying to yourself multiple times a day.




Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it?  You can check out her website here.


I’m in Costa Rica right now leading a spiritual adventure retreat!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE leading retreats and experiences, join me on one this summer and discover or step more fully into what YOU LOVE. Details here.

  • longandluxe

    Christine –
    Get it, girl!!!! I love this post!! I finally feel like I’m getting a handle on some major truths and this is now one of them. ” I am enough ” is one of the hardest, most sacred places to get to in our lives. And what you say about moving out of inspiration rather than motivation rings so true for me I could scream!
    But I didn’t put the peices together until I read this, so thank you for writing out of Love – I feel you!!
    Big love, big hugs – muchas gracias, amiga! 🙂

    • Christine Hassler

      Scream it then, girl!!! And you are very welcome 🙂

  • caitlin

    Thank you. I truly needed this.

    • Christine Hassler

      My pleasure!

  • Anum Ali

    What an elegantly written piece, this is! I can totally relate to using inspiration as a way of moving forward rather than motivation and I convey this message to my friends all the time. But I also understand how hard it can be for people to escape from the habit of self judgement and thats why I loved what you said about if we would treat our friends that way? I hadn’t thought of it that way. You are just so right, we are so good to our friends, always motivating them because we know how much light there is with in them and we should apply this same concept to our selves.
    Thank you so much for sharing, I am totally going to apply this to my self and spread your message to others!


    • Christine Hassler

      Thank you Anum – let’s all be friends to ourselves 🙂

  • I’ll be sharing your lovely vlog/blog with the I Am A Powerful Woman community 🙂 Several great take aways from this. Thanks Chrisitine!