You may be doing something that is really bad for you so my message today is muy importante! (I’m headed to Costa Rica in two days so I’m practicing mi español!!) My warning has to do with how you treat yourself. It is probably not news to you that most of us are extremely hard on ourselves. You are aware being critical of yourself is not an act of love – so why do you still do it?
This is the question I answer in today’s vlog, as well as offer you a fast-acting tool to stop it.
Here’s what you may be doing that is no bueno: you are using self-criticism as a way to motivate yourself. So much so that you are not even aware of how reliant on being hard on yourself you have become.
Consider how you muster up the mojo to do things. Do you motivate yourself by looking at the ways you think you should be more, better, or different until the pain of what you judge about yourself pushes you forward? Are you often paralyzed by perfection because you are waiting to be “good enough” before you take a step toward your desires and dreams?
I love this quote from Michael Beckwith: “Pain pushes until vision pulls.” I encourage you to STOP allowing the pain of self-judgment to push you. Instead, hold a positive vision of the Truth of who you are and allow it to pull you forward.
Being hard on yourself is a behavior pattern that has gotten you results in life – but at what cost? You can that TRUST kindness and loving compassion are actually more effective than harshness. But I get that it can be hard to break this bad habit, so in the vlog I show you a part of me that I have not shared with you before to teach you a quick-fix tool for combating self-criticism.
Think of it this way: If you treated your friends like you treat yourself, would you have any? Would you ever say to a friend, “You aren’t doing enough,” or “You really failed at that,” or “If you lost five pounds, I’d love you more.” Of course not!!! So why tolerate behavior toward yourself you would not engage in with someone you care about?!?
I have a commitment to myself that I do not sit down to create these blogs/vlogs I send to you unless I am feeling inspired. If there is any harshness, judgment or “shoulds” motivating me, I wait until I am in a place of LOVE so that inspiration flows.
Create from inspiration. Celebrate the amazingness that is YOU and use the truth of who you are to pull you. Give the mean girl or guy motivator a new job description: A bestie who speaks to you with love, who reminds you that you are ENOUGH, and has only your best interests at heart.
And please leave comments below and share with me the self-accepting and affirming statements you are committed to saying to yourself multiple times a day.
Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it? You can check out her website here.
I’m in Costa Rica right now leading a spiritual adventure retreat!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE leading retreats and experiences, join me on one this summer and discover or step more fully into what YOU LOVE. Details here.