What's Keeping You From Stepping Into Your Starring Role? - Daily Love with Mastin Kipp

What’s Keeping You From Stepping Into Your Starring Role?

Tanya GeislerWhen you entered 2014, you felt strongly that were ready to claim your role as artist, speaker, coach, leader, author, teacher, pro, star…

We’re three months in, Daily Lovers. What if you could give yourself permission to do it right now?

Would you?

And, if not now, when?

Know what I think?

I think you’re ready. Period. I think you’re ready to name and claim your starring role. I think you’re ready to thrive. I think you’re ready to face all that’s been holding you back. I think you’re ready to get the help you need to get you there. I think you’re ready to leap onto the stage. I think you’re ready to do the work. And I think you’re ready to be seen. For the do-er, the pro, and the star that you are.

But I also know – from my life’s work of helping people step into their starring roles – that there are two places where amazing folks like you may stop short and continue waiting in the wings, watching their heroes on stage in front of them.

1) You want to step into your starring role, but you doubt that you have the ability or the right to do so.

Which sounds like:

I’m not a “writer.” Writers are … smart. Accomplished. Actual artists. Me? I’ve got decent ideas and can string ‘em together.

I’m not an “expert.” I know what I know, but it’s not very much. “Experts” have 10,000 hours under their belts and legitimacy and credentials and degrees. Me, not so much.

You want to be known as a writer? Do you write? Then you are a writer. Keep doing it. You have the right to write. Proceed.

You want to be known as an authority? An expert? Yes, that’s available to you too. You’re way closer than you think.

2)  You want to step into your starring role, but the very thing you want to claim is supercharged and spring loaded with your own judgment.

Which sounds like:

I can’t want to be an “expert.” Experts are stuffy and stodgy. That’s not me.

Sure, I’d love to be an “authority,” but I would never call myself an authority. Anyone who calls herself that is a fake. It’s a fabricated construct.

“Star”? Pfft. That’s fluffy and silly and selfish and pointless and pure ego-driven BS.

Only an overinflated gasbag would call herself a “thought leader.”

And, I suspect that there is a part of you that reads those words, feels their familiarity and still wants…that. If so, lean in nice and close.

Here’s what I want you to know.

1) You are allowed to want what you want. In fact, it’s your job. Without apology, shame or embarrassment.

2) You are safe here. I won’t tell anyone that you want to be a star. An expert. An authority. I promise. (Until you’re ready for me to, and then I shall sing it from the mountaintops.)

3) Your discomfort with that title is the very thing that is holding you back from allowing yourself to step into it.

But because it’s just you and me, will you whisper the title that you want. Authority? Expert? Star? Muse? Thought leader?

That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Can you now try to say it a little louder?


Now, can you proclaim in a statement, from the depths of your belly?

I WANT TO BE A ___________!

There. Infinitely better.

But even as you sit there, a little breathless for what you’ve just named, the familiar voices are creeping in.

It’s selfish.

That’s stupid.

It’s for someone else.

Not yet.

Yes. Yours is clearly a complicated relationship with that label.

So let’s have a look at what’s sitting under this tension you’re feeling. The tender yearning to be known as an expert and the discomfort you feel with what it represents.

Typically, we experience this tension because our relationship with authority has been informed by witnessing the behaviour or impact we’ve felt by someone else in that role.

Let’s try this out, super quick.

Think about someone in your sphere (or beyond) who embodies (pick the label that lands with you): expert, authority, star.

How do you feel about them, in general? Notice what you admire (that’s a mirror, by the way) and notice when you disconnect. Notice what feelings come up that cause you to disconnect (disappointment, anger, or frustration?). Notice what you would do differently. (Hint: You will)

Do you see the correlation between how you feel about that person and how that may be well be holding you back from claiming that title for yourself? From stepping into your starring role?


Remember, this year, you’re ready to do the work. (Tweet-worthy!) You’re ready to leap onto the stage. And you’re ready to be seen. For the do-er, the pro, and the star that you are. Oh yes indeed.




Tanya Geisler – certified Life and Business Coach (CPCC, ACC), TEDxWomen speaker, and writer – teaches women how to step into their starring roles, own their authority, and overcome the Impostor Complex in their life, in their work, and in their life’s work. Registration for her 12-week Step into Your Starring Role coaching program is now open!