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When others are scared, here’s what you do

Fear is a toxic and very fast spreading virus of the mind. As you get deeper and deeper on The Path, you will become more sensitive to other people and their state of being. Your job is to stay aware of your being and notice when you have taken on the thoughts and emotions of others.

Have you ever noticed that you could be having a perfectly fine day and then you spend time with someone whom you love and care for, who may be in a negative and fearful place, and after you’re done hanging out with them, YOU feel negative and fearful?

That’s what I call catching the fear bug. You have let the energy and thoughts of another become your own. And doesn’t it almost feel unfair, because they didn’t even ask? They just seemed to dump all over you.

But you see, as you become more aware, as you step into your own power, this will not change the negativity of the world or of others. In fact, you will become vastly more aware of other people’s fear and negativity. But do not fret.

Your job is to become strong enough to see and experience the fear and negativity of others and, instead of resisting it and calling it “evil” or “dark”, to understand it is simply a deep yearning for love. When you understand and know that another’s fearful and negative state of being is nothing more than a call for love, you no longer have to assume their fear or let it affect you. You can simply understand what they are really looking for and send Love instead of fear back to them.

When we understand that the fear and negativity in others is a call for Love, we inoculate ourselves against the fear bug. We have an anti-fear-otic that, through our awareness, transforms fear into Love within us. This way, we can purge our bodies of the fear of others and actually respond from a place that not only helps to elevate and heal them, but also elevates and heals us in the process.

So inoculate yourself from fear today by understanding the negativity and fear of others is simply a call for Love and decide that you are going to be the person to answer that call today.

As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Lots of love,

Mastin

P.S. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

P.P.S. I’m going on a huge international book tour! Join me. RSVP here.

  • http://www.humaninnovationgarage.com Mona Kelly

    Perfect timing (aka great post that I needed today ;-). I am becoming more and more sensitive to other’s fears for themselves (and their tendency to find excuses not to do what they really are longing for) and the fear they express consciously or unconsciously for myself/my situation as I embrace the entrepreneurship road. Even with the commitment I made to myself not to absorb others’ fear, it is a struggle and I love the idea to shift from a place of feeling annoyed about it to a place of openness and love. Thanks Mastin!

    • The Daily Love

      Awesome Mona! We are so glad you enjoyed today’s message. Thank you for sharing :) – Team Daily Love

    • delina dimova

      excellent, im glad u mention the entrepreneurship road and sensitivity to other’s emotions and fears etc. i believe if we remain in our power and moving in our own pace yet looking out for those around us to give them support and understanding and not be bothered about our results yet to be looking to serve even if it means someone doing better than us, i think thats greate. i mean its like the universe sees all the good deeds done. fear greeted by a gesture of love is just the answer. i know this is not really clear, its not really clear in my head either but i like how u linked it to that road. love and light delina x

  • becky butler

    If we all just realized that fear was just a call for love and we each answered that call to one another, our world would be a peaceful place.

    • The Daily Love

      Well put Becky :) Thank you so much for sharing some of your insight! <3 – Team Daily Love

  • JustMe

    Like Mona, this post really resonated with me today. My daughter is currently going through a period a her work that is for her scary and I find myself sometimes in talking to her almost hyperventilating from HER fear.
    Instead of trying to say something wise, etc. to ‘fix’ the problem (a mother thing), I will just let her know how much I love her and just ‘listen’ having faith she has the smarts and fortitude to work through this. To that end I will remind myself of something I learned many years ago in Al-Anon ‘ no one is responsible for any other adult than themselves’. It’s HER business, not mine.

    • delina dimova

      awesome i love what u say here, yess, it’s her business and yess all we can do is sit back and listen and allow love to show this way. thank you for sharing

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective with us JustMe! We are glad you’re here! -TDL Team

  • Dee

    Perfect love casts out fear! Love is always the answer isn’t it?!

    • The Daily Love

      You’re so right! -TDL Team

  • Amanda Kraft McGary

    Sadly, I recently realized that I had become the “fear spreader” and was projecting my fears on my husband, family, and friends. Now, that I have become aware of what I had been doing, I am able to change my mindset and catch myself when fear based thinking begins to take over.

    • delina dimova

      awesome exactly the point of being in power, which is just awesome. when u r in the state of power i.e. aware of ur own mindset and then u build ur ability to shift quick back to calm and peacful loving mindset…booom u have healing state for all around u and u included. win win situation. it can be hard tho.

    • The Daily Love

      Way to realize that and take action on your learnings Amanda! Keep it up :) -TDL Team

  • singoutoftune

    As long as you send love to that troubled person, and let them know that you will always be there for them . Then you know they can follow their own path and you can calmly follow yours.

    • The Daily Love

      Perfectly said singoutoftune! Thanks for sharing :) – Team Daily Love

  • Lovefirst

    Thank you Mastin. This sheds light on a lot for me. When I hear fear I do want to fix it with advice but bringing love into that space makes a lot more sense. Hearing that person and letting them know they are loved and perhaps remind them of their own love. The other thought that came to mind was loving myself when fear and anxiousness set in. Since I’ve committed myself on TDL to self love over self doubt and fear brought on by valuing others opinion’s of me, I have a clearer view of love and how it is my purpose to live love. I’m now able to share love with others more easily. I now have a tool that I understand that I can use to help myself and others when the fear bug is being shared and looking to settle in. Love is amazing. Sending to love to TDL and to the world

    • renata

      Dear Lovefirst, I wonder if we are wearing the same clothes today or something because- “you took the words right out of my mouth”. Of course, I know u didn’t :) but DITTO is all I can say to your post. Thanks and thanks Mastin and TDL for sending emails with the “right” topic at the “right” time. Lots of Love from TO

    • The Daily Love

      Your insights are beautiful! Thank you for sharing them with us! We can feel the love :) -TDL Team

  • Lori Evanson

    Thank you for this, Mastin. Once again, spot on. Look forward to reading your book!

    • The Daily Love

      We’re glad to hear that!! Thank you for reading! -TDL Team

  • Marci

    Thank you so much everyone, really needed it, I love to open my Daily Love everyday, I know I will find the right answer, All my love.

    • The Daily Love

      We’re so glad to be a part of your day! Thanks for allowing us in :) -TDL Team

  • Debbie

    Wow, just what I needed to read this morning. I’m getting ready to drop my son off at college today, halfway across the country. Sensing his fear, I automatically give him the reasons why he shouldn’t be fearful. But in reality, it’s normal for him to feel the fear and should be allowed to feel it. My job is to show him love. SPOT ON! Thank you for your words of wisdom ~~ after a sleepless night worrying about how I can deal with his fear and anxiety, God’s answer to me was spoken through you.

    • The Daily Love

      Awesome Debbie! We are so glad you today’s message resonated with you. Hope all goes well with your son’s first day at college :) Thank you for sharing <3 – Team Daily Love

    • delina dimova

      amazing, could not put it better :D fear is to feel it and let it go rite! well done mum. xx

  • KDed

    Agree with all this but sometimes struggle with how to put it into practice. When someone is a toxic force in your life how do you practice loving them while protecting yourself? Even with someone who is not toxic but is impacting you with their fear to emotional poverty what does it look like to “love them”- like from a practical standpoint? Curious to hear everyones’ thoughts. Thanks!

    • Wanda Paulino

      With you here KDed- putting this into practice has been something I’ve been dealing with lately. While dealing with people such as this I’ve begun to deflect with love -as Mastin points out but there are ways to protect yourself before meeting…Gabrielle Bernstein and Doreen Virtue have addressed this in their work. One way is to imagine, elicit (from source, the divine, angels-what resonates with you) a protective shield of white light. Surround yourself with this protective light before you meet. This plus the sending of love + understanding will protect….

      • KDed

        Thanks Wanda and TDL :) This helps me <3

    • The Daily Love

      It looks like you’ve gotten some great feedback KDed! Thanks for reaching out and being a part of the TDL community! -TDL Team

  • mom2asweetp

    Most people around me feel fear when they feel out of control of a situation and believe in the worst possible scenario is going to happen. It’s faith in a power greater than ourselves that restores the sanity. Beneath that faith (and faith in divine power) is knowing that they are worthy of God’s grace and love. I feel like it’s my job to remind them of all of this by reflecting faith and love. So I think I kinda get at what you’re saying!

    • The Daily Love

      Very powerful mom2asweetp! Thank you so much for sharing with us <3- Team Daily Love

  • Bill

    When I am feeling anxiety and stressed (most days), I have noticed that when I talk about it to some choice people, they seem to avoid me. This includes family members. As one sister has said to me, she doesn’t want the negativity. Another has said “just snap out of it!” This does not help me, if anything, it makes me feel worse. As my counselor has explained, this is common, in that many people don’t understand this is a mental disease, not something I can just decide to snap out of. But I need to feel loved, not put at a distance, as I work to try to live this hell I’m in.

    • delina dimova

      i hear you, the last thing u need is to be put to one side and avoided. when u need love u simply need to find a way to ask for it. this is hard but u can do it. love and light. for example i felt depleted the other day and i just deliberately jumped onmy mum and said if u like it or not i am going to get a hug and so i cried because i felt safe and sheltered and then i was ok. :) so a hug always works.

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing your experience with us Bill! And thanks for reading today! -TDL Team

    • KDed

      I’ve struggled with similar things Bill while recovering from depression and periods of intense anxiety. I gained a wealth of insight through reading the Boundaries books by Henry Cloud and John Townsend as well as “Safe People.” I had to learn that it was important to find “safe people” I could be vulnerable with- who would support and encourage me and love me unconditionally. It made it easier to set boundaries with the others who couldn’t handle my vulnerability and could not be supportive. Unfortunately sometimes you have to really search and search until you find those people… but they are out there! This site is actually a great place to start. :-)

  • http://www.tubprophet.com Jessica Burks

    Great points today and LOVE the quotes. Where I have a problem as a, seriously to a fault, empathetic person; how do I overcome emotional projection? Empathy and avoiding the fear bug… The only thing that has worked for me is Acceptance of the person or situation, as a separate entity from the emotion. Otherwise, the call for love…can take me down. It’s weird.

    • The Daily Love

      You’re definitely not alone in this, Jessica! Stay on the path, you’re headed the right way :) -TDL Team

  • delina dimova

    exactly, i absolutely agree with every word and even more its given me the gentle nudge and validation of my own feelings rite now. thank you. yess, i really needed this. i will allow foe love to flow between me and my work colleague because i can see his fear and i can understand he needs love and reassurance. i will also remain in my power for when i meet an old class mate of mine who had gone trough an injury and potentially will loose his 17 years long career. he too is fearful and i can sense over the media even, as we dont live close to each other. so when i am with him, again i will allow love to manifest however necessary and flow with it, even if that means hugs and cuddly time in bed. the point here is, by staying in my power i remain calm, peaceful and loving, giving and receiving. then i am able to help everyone who comes in contact with me feel this way too. i sooo know what i meant about picking up on others negativity, like i picked up mum’s fear today and it pulling me down, i know she is lookin for love an each day i find easier ways to give her exactly that. it does take some work on my behalf, dont get me wrong, because i have to swallow it down or bite the bullet if u like in order to carry her over to the light! its all great! and i love life and life loves me. thank you Mastic and Daily Love, you rock :D

    • The Daily Love

      We love your enthusiasm! Thank you for sharing it with us! -TDL Team

  • Rabia

    This was a critically important post for me today. I have really struggled with my mom’s depression. It can literally throw me into a tail spin. So much so that once my husband called her to discuss how negative conversations affect me and how they need to be positive for me. Needless to say this did not go over well with my mom. It caused a huge rift between my husband and my mother that required counseling between all of us. There still is tension between them. Well today is my mom’s birthday and when I called her she was in a negative place. She talked to me for an hour or more about her deep sorrow, how sad she was to have broken up with her last boyfriend, how lonely she is, and how sad she is that My husband doesn’t like her to visit. It is hard not to try to fix it or become defensive or frustrated myself. I have been trying to support her through different versions of the same story for years. It feels excruciatingly painful every time she resides in that negative space. It makes me feel hopeless, anxious and very sad. I want to love her out of it but I don’t know how to do that and not break down myself in the process.

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing your experience with us Rabia. You are not alone in your struggles! Keep your head up :) -TDL Team

  • Danielle Desiree Gómez

    So many people are paralyzed on the thought of failing that they never go on to unravel what they are capable of doing in life. The crux of the problem is that fear of failing and/or fear of thinking about what everyone else thinks of you after failing, is holding you hostage to taking the steps necessary to reach your dreams. We limit ourselves because of our limiting beliefs of failing over and over again but, it is a process that we should learn to be proficient in. I know I have felt immobilized at the thought of failing but, I am learning that it is a process and we need to realize that when we are 40, 60, 80 years old, we realize that nobody really is watching nor gives a damn. And I know for damn sure, I don’t want to be on my deathbed one day, wishing I would have went after my unwavering vision of becoming a best-selling author and an entrepreneur. The time is now, not tomorrow, not next month, not next year. I agree that sometimes a loved one will dump negativity on you and it is important that we respond positively, coming from a place of love; keep what resonates with us and leave the rest.

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for all of your insights Danielle! We’re glad you’re a part of the The Daily Love community! -TDL Team

  • Nad

    I needed to read this today. When fear rears its ugly head around my world, it’s so often immediately replaced with “fear of fear itself”-even more so now that I am doing the work and trying to stay aware of when I am feeling this way. I struggle between reaching out to trusted friends and family and hiding behind “closed doors” in order to avoid the risk of bringing others down with me. I realize now that there are so many people like myself who occupy a grey area when it comes to self -love that it takes very little to bring someone down and of course, vice versa. Not sure where it ranks on the scale of professional advice but for myself, I have chosen to surround myself with people that at least share an understanding of The Path independent of where they personally stand on it.