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When Shit Happens, Turn It Into Fertilizer!

by Kute Blackson on December 7, 2011

Shit does happen.

It is unavoidable.

This is part of life.

But you are the gardener and what you do with the “shit” that happens makes all the difference.

The challenges of life simply make you grow and provide the natural friction that causes you to evolve.

When shit happens in your life, you can turn it into an opportunity and use it to fertilize the soil of your life to grow beautiful roses.

Or you can go into judgment and victimhood, which will only stink up your backyard.

You choose.

How you see a situation will determine the reality that you experience in that moment. How you see the situation determines how you handle it – and how you handle it impacts your outcome.

Things happen in life that you cannot predict or control.

But what happens isn’t nearly as important as how you choose to experience and interpret it.

In this sense you create your reality. You create the reality you choose to experience at any given moment.

So why not create a reality that empowers you?

Your mind’s capacity to understand and see the totality of a situation is often limited.

When something happens that makes no sense in your life, it is easy to go into fear, judgment, anger, resistance, confusion. But this simply keeps you spinning and does nothing to change the situation.

We often only see one part of the puzzle or one scene of the movie and from this perspective things might not make sense.

When Gandhi was put in prison, rather than being angry and feeling like a victim, he asked for some materials. Whilst in prison he made a pair of sandals.

When he came out of prison, before he left he asked for the person in charge. When they met, he presented the sandals he had made as a gift to the very man that put him in prison.

The man was stunned. Gandhi’s point was powerfully made.

Gandhi chose to see his situation as an opportunity to promote peace and to love more, rather than retaliate in vengeance and anger.

How you deal with the things that happen to you will determine how much freedom you experience.

Anyone can deal with life when everything goes your way, but the real test is when things don’t go the way you expect or want.

A pessimist sees difficulty in opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity even in the midst of difficulty. Choose what empowers you the most.

So when faced with a challenging situation that you might not understand:

1-Breathe. Connect with the present moment.

2-Step back from the situation and take a look at the situation you are in from a broader perspective.

3-ASK:

-What can I learn in this situation? What is my lesson?

-How can I grow and use this for my soul’s evolution?

-How will I look back on this in the future and say it is the best thing to happen to me?

-What do I need to shift in my life that is out of alignment?

4-Take the actionneeded to bring yourself and the situation into balance. Do your part.

5-Release and let go of the outcome.

6-Trust the intelligence of life to work out the details.

Life has an intelligence that is way beyond the intelligence of our limited minds. The more you are willing to trust that, the more free you will be.

No matter what might be going on for you, use every experience you find yourself in for your growth and learning.

Ultimately in the game of life, the only thing that matters and that you get to keep is the evolution of your Soul.

Everything. Everything. Everything is in service to that. Sometimes we forget and get caught up in the drama of life’s movie.

When all is said and done and the game is over, the question becomes:

“How much did you grow in this school of life?

How much did you evolve and realize your true nature?

To the degree you did is to the degree you were a success.

Imagine had Mandela never gone to prison?

Imagine had Oprah never gone through her challenging childhood?

So when you find “shit” happening in your life.

Breathe.

Step back.

And use it to fertilize the soil of your life.

Love now

Kute

P.S. I would love to hear how you turned a challenging situation in your life around – in the comments below.

And to find out more of my work, check out my website at www.kuteblackson.com

  • Pingback: When Shit Happens, Turn It Into Fertilizer! | Todd's Point of View

  • CLB

    This is one of your best posts. I was just having a conversation yesterday with someone about facing circumstances and reverting to habitual escapisms rather than facing the circumstance head on. This perspective, while quite humorous, provides deep insight on how to break free from the “rut” do many find themselves in.

    Personally, I’m working through an extremely challenging circumstance – I am putting one foot in front of the other and remaining open to the process of achieving my desired results.

    Thanks for being such a bright light,
    CLB

  • http://www.facebook.com/dyuanna Dyuanna Peterson Mebane

    I really needed to receive this message this morning. I asked for guidance this morning from God and was sent this message. 

  • Guest

    I am through a really tough time in my relationship and it seems like i always look for the negative in every situation. I am always over analyzing stuff and I am actually driving myself crazy. I am so tired and I want to break free of these patterns, it just feels like I never will, I am so emotional constantly crying over this relationship, and most of the crying is not valid, I just do… I want to find happiness again, I want to shed this negative sobbing person I have become. This article is wonderful and I totally feel what it says. Thank you

    • Andromeda_glacier

      Your not over analysing,it’s natural.

    • Cheryl Hackett

      You are probably just releasing the emotions of letting go..give yourself time.  Love yourself, you are worth it.

  • JR

    Thank you for this post. My relationship ended 2 months ago, we were together for 3 years and I thought this was it, and I am having a hard time letting go that its over and dealing with the feeling of rejection and re-examining where my life now is. But as I keep stepping back and looking at the relationship- I did deserve so much more than I was getting. I deserve the love and respect people talk about. I just need to realize that I am mourning the end of a chapter in my like and not this person that wasn’t even that great to me. Its just very hard to know that he seems so unaffected by our breakup (social networking can be the death of you during a breakup). But I know I will be ok and I am ready to take my shit and make some awesome fertilizer. 

    • NA

      JR – I’m right there with you. Please take comfort that you aren’t alone.  I know they may seem like they are unaffected, but in all honesty is that the true? You don’t know, instead of worrying about him (which I’m SUPER guilty of) bring the focus back to you. Check out this website, it’s amazing and really makes you think – www. baggagereclaim.co.uk

      Regarding the social network – I had to resort to blocking, bc I would check this and that. It’s very hurtful and unhelpful. Stay strong.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for this post.  I REALLY needed this especially since the guy I thought was “the one” showed me his true colors and broke my heart.

  • sparklefairy

    WOW!!  This is absolutely amazing.  Thank you so much for this video.  It’s really helped me realize that no matter what is going on in my life right now it’s all going to be ok – and not just ok- but ultimately my life truly is a masterpiece. :)  

  • Mamvdberg

    This is life in a nutshell, all comes together now. Thank you so much. Just worries because my boyfriend is late from work.. But i get the bigger picture now.. I needed to read this before he comes home :) You are a lovely person, thank you for sharing this with the world, its in desperate need of people like you! Warm greetings from the Netherlands

  • http://twitter.com/rojoynegro86 Stephanny Lennon

    well I do not know anymore, I tried really hard to raise my GPA at school and I keep on failing so 

  • Daniela25

    Right on :)

  • Cheryl Hackett

    Wow…loved this.  It is so true that when we step back or look back on an event or experience that it does take on a whole new meaning.  When I got married …a long time ago, my father wouldn’t attend the wedding which really upset me.  So, I asked my brother to give me away (he & I were very close at the time).  Many years ago my brother took his own life, but I have this lovely photo of him walking me down the isle and now I thank god that it was him that gave me away…what a special memory I have.  I’m now glad my dad didn’t walk me down the isle :)   We can probably think of tons of stories like this..that seemed so wrong at the time, but end up being so right when we look back.  Thanks Kute for the reminder xx

  • Melissa

    I’m going through a really challenging period in my life right now. My children are leaving and they aren’t quite independant yet. It’s been really stressful saying goodbye to the mother/child relationship that we had. I really defined myself by that role.I stayed home with them for 12 years! It was wonderful in many ways and I didn’t take up enough room for myself. Always putting them first. I’m learning how to let go of them and focusing on finding myself again. It’s been very hard though because of some health issues. When my daughter left for the first time I woke up one morning to terrible vertigo which I’ve had now for 2 years off and on. It causes a lot of anxiety which I’ve learned to deal with. Even though the anxiety feels awful I know it pushes me to change. Because of it I have stared to really change the way I deal with stress. I have stared to walk everyday in my neighbourhood where I can connect to nature, become pretty much a vegan and started taking some dance classes that I love. Every time I tried something new I had to overcome the anxiety that I wouldn’t be able to do it because of the vertigo and anxiety. I’ve pushed myself through the fear and my life is becoming better. Recently because of hormonal- emotional issues my heart has been talking to me. In a physical way, palpitating and generally been saying listen to me! It’s pretty scary and I’m trying to trust that it’s helping me to evolve. I recently put some of my art in a local show and I’m really happy about that! I feel it’s really time for me to paint more and to play! I’m afraid of all this change. I feel startlingly alive sometimes and joyful! And other times really uncomfortable and ungrounded. I can’t lie, It makes me fell a little crazy sometimes. Your message today to have faith and trust that life knows what it’s doing with me is very comforting. Thank you for your words of love and wisdom. Blessings~Melissa~

  • Imnos482

    Just added this to my site. Thanks for the LOVE!
    http://www.detox-diet-and-healthy-eating.com/toxic-stress.html

  • ljd

    Thank you for this.  It is awesome to be reminded that our hardships can sometimes be powerful lessons.  I am so grateful for TDL. 

    When watching this, I was reminded of a very disturbing hardship in my life.  My Mom passed away when I was 21 years old without warning.  There I went into my negative thought patterns.  What can we do when we finally reach a point in our lives where we are becoming mentally healthy thanks to words of wisdom such as this but then are reminded of things that can take anyone, even the strongest of us, down?  How to overcome this?  I would be so grateful of Kute reads this, what would he say??  I just can’t think of one thing positive from losing my Mom and she died a somewhat painful death.  Thanks…and sorry to rain on anyone’s positive day, keep on being positive!  Maybe someone reading this will realize how lucky they are to have a Mom.   

  • Hildy

    LOVE THIS !! THANK YOU !!

  • Sugar

    Love you!!  You are so inspiring!

  • Readingmindful

    The death of my marriage was long overdue when it happene, but it hurt like hell. I had panic attacks for 6 months after and was a nervous wreck for a while. In the end, I decided, I gave him too much power over my life still. I was still playing the victim, even though he was gone already. I didn’t want him back, but I had got so used to being the self-righteous, long-suffering victim that I fell into a total void at first. In the end I watched him go down the drain – and it was me who helped himupagain and become a better person in the end. We are friends now, both of us have different partners, but we have forgiven and treat each other with affection and respect now. And after I went through all of this, guess, how strong I felt for coming out of it all alive and strong? I can face anything now! That was SOME fertilizer!