I was pondering the other day what a phenomenon it is that our “hearts” actually have the ability to heal. From things like heartbreak, loss, disappointment, perceived failure, you name it– whatever makes our heart “ache.” Usually it lingers in its aching stage because we keep hanging on the hurt. I’ve noticed that we do this “hanging on” thing by staying angry, keep talking about it, we keep questioning it, we keep feeling like s**t, worthless, not deserving, victimized, and worst of all… we keep that negative talk going on and on in our heads. At least that’s what I did. Any time I would experience a “trauma” to the heart, I would keep myself believing that I “needed” to hang on to it. (Really? Did I need to stay on the cross?!) This was because my “trauma” would become an experience I would learn from. That no matter what the situation was, I would NEVER experience that again because of what I learned from it by keeping it my memory for all of eternity! WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I can be so bad at hanging on…
If you think about it, where does that really get us? So we remember this pain, this wound in our minds and hearts, saying over and over again that “we’ll never have to go through that again” because we know better, and sure, that may be true. But what about the healing? Just because we will always remember how we were hurt, does that really mean that we cannot heal? I used to think when we go through a heartache and never want to feel that way again, we treat our heart like a protection device…yet the kind of pain that riddles us right after an event, that causes us to shut down, changes us in ways that we swore we never go to, or turn to. Now I’ve learned that deep down we also want to be FREE of this pain! Free of the memories that took us there. We want to heal– to have our hearts be good as new! No matter the depth of the trauma, our hearts have an astounding ability to heal and come back stronger than ever!!
Here’s what came to me: We get cuts, bruises, scrapes, break a bone– heck, we even get the dreaded flu somehow each year… and we tend to these illnesses and wounds hour after hour and day after day. We pray and hope that all the care, energy, ointments and bandages we put on them will heal it. We eat right and exercise to lose weight, we talk to ourselves into buying over-the-counter beauty and skin care products in hopes that our skin will glow and improve with age. But SOMEHOW— many of us that suffer from a heartache tend to just walk away and pretend it doesn’t hurt. OR worse, we nurse along the heartache like a watered-down cocktail and victimize ourselves for months, years, even decades thinking we either deserve to live with this pain for eternity, or we go into denial and don’t ALLOW our hearts to heal.
Why must we do this to ourselves? Where in our life’s experience did someone train us that living with a heartache is just a part of life? You can bet that if we cut our finger slicing sushi or if that fabulous North Star Constellation of zits makes an appearance on our face that we do something about it! But I see that many of us (and I’m one of us, like you wouldn’t believe..) ignore our hearts way too much. Of course there is no pain like a newly broken one, but what I’m expressing is that when we suffer a disappointment, a loss, a heartbreak, a letdown, that it’s ok to grieve for a while. It’s okay to take as long as you need to heal, even if your peers suggest otherwise. So much like a wound to our skin, we can take the same love and care to our amazing hearts! We do this by reaching out to our support team, and by talking to it (yes— talk to it!) Tell it how much you Love and care for it. Increasingly take on activities that make your heart sing and smile more often. Accept that its ok to move on, that you deserve to regenerate a lively and amazing heart full of Love again! LIBERATE yourself from the horrible little things that we say each day to ourselves like we are not worthy of abundance, money, Love, our Soul mates, our children, a better job, a fascinating career and, best of all, the ability TO HEAL– to move on and be even better than we could possible imagine we could be! Treat your heart to Love and tenderness. Take time to heal it when it gets bruised by that rejection letter, that friend who disappointed you, that lover who walked out, that special person who is no longer with us. You know that our hearts are the CORE of our bodies and give EVERY CELL in our bodies’ energy and life. So why wouldn’t you treat your heart even better and give it as much attention as you would that stubbed toe? Our heart is a muscle and just like our biceps, the more reps we do to heal it, the stronger is gets. (It’s stronger than we give it credit for.) It builds a memory. Hey if ya get to the gym, then get to healing that heart of yours. And it will heal… if you LET IT! As we do, we will no longer feel the separation between the heart and the mind. When the heartache is over, you won’t be missing what is gone, and you won’t be looking over your shoulder. (Thank you Tina Turner!) What you’ll get is a “heart” without scars, a heart without tears. Instead you’ll have a heart with renewed courage, bravery and the willingness to invite faith, LOVE and even some risk in all over again!
What areas of your life has your “Heart” been aching in? Can you take the time to heal it? I’d really love to hear from you!
With Great Love,
Andrew “Drew” Parales is a Vocational Rehab Educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. He is a former studio photographer and most recently captures landscape stills as a creative outlet and form of art. Now he is bringing all his years in Education and Artistry to the world as a Liberation & Personal Inspirational Writer/Creator and Mentor at his Blog www.iLOVEliberation.com. His work with individuals is based on his own personal breakthroughs (and being Life Coached himself), his students, inspiring Liberation, and Self-Love. Connect with Drew at: