When you ASSUME you make an ASS out of ME and YOU! (Give it UP!)

Just because you perceive something a certain way, doesn’t mean it is true.

We often think that reality is what we see and experience. We then make judgments about other people, situations or even ourselves based on our perceptions.

But in reality, the reality that you experience is based on your conditioning and past programming. The reality that you think is reality isn’t necessarily reality. As you become aware of this, it frees you up to see more clearly and question how you perceive a situation or person.

When you look at a situation or person, what you really see is what you bring to it. As a result, we make up assumptions and judgments about people which are often not true. Then we react based on our interpretation, which is not always accurate.

Have you ever reacted a certain way to a situation or person, only to realize afterwards that what you thought wasn’t necessarily so? It was simply how you were perceiving it in that moment based on your limited viewpoint.

Perhaps someone did or said something to you which left you feeling hurt. When you react to the situation based on your hurt, it only creates a negative spiral.

To the degree you live inside of your assumptions about what is going on, is to the degree you are not free and limit yourself.

The more you can step back, question your first reaction to a given situation and embrace what you feel, the more space you can have to actually choose a response that is empowering rather than reactive. Living from reactivity only creates more reactivity in a situation.

When you are in a relationship with a loved one and they do or say something that triggers something within you, we often think that our upset is about the other person. As a result we might react negatively, or even attack the other person out of hurt. We might make up a story about what they said or did, and what that means. In truth you may have no idea what was really going on with the other person or situation as a whole.

So we are all seeing through our individual lens/viewpoint and experiencing reality in unique ways. The challenge is when these realities do not agree, it often results in arguments we both think we are right.

Have you ever experienced this?

On some level you are both right. Everybody is right, based on the viewpoint your are looking through. It doesn’t mean it is reality though. When you realize this, you do not need to take the other person’s reaction to you personally; you realize that, based on their particular viewpoint which they think to be reality, they cannot help but react to you the way they are. It just frees you up to not keep fighting them, and be able to take a step back so that you can really choose your response.

The meaning you give to things controls your entire life. What’s the meaning you are giving to the experiences that happen to you?

Beware of:

Mind reading: When you project onto another other person what you think they are thinking and why they did what they did.

Living in fantasy: When you have an entire relationship with a person not based on reality, but what you have made up in your mind.

Preconceived ideas: This is where you have already made up in your mind who and what someone is and how that person will respond ahead of time. You then already feel reactive, even though nothing has happened yet.

The more you free yourself of your conditioning, the more clearly you are able to see reality clearly and really choose.

Before you judge someone or the situation.

Breathe. And take a step back.

Take a look at the situation from a more expanded viewpoint. Be willing to not know.

Question: Is this reality?

Choose authentically.

So, how much Freedom do you want to experience in your life?

You choose.

Love. Now


P.S. If you feel truly ready to take yourself to the next level in every area of your life, then join me on a lifechanging and extraordinary journey www.boundlessblissbali.com APPLY if you feel called for the next journey December 2-13th.

  • Luvallbeings

    Wow. thank you for this, I needed to hear this. A friend advised me I was doing this in our relationship and I did not understand what she meant at the time. Since then the message she was trying to explain has come up time and time again and I am finally starting to “get it”. I am still working on applying it in my situation and it helps to keep hearing it. Awesome lesson learned and this blog explains it in a way anyone can understand.

  • This is a great post. It’s also very timely in my life. I am finding the opposite in my life right now. It’s less of me placing assumptions on someone else and more of the person not trying to understand what is really going on with me. My emotions and reactions are being assumed to be something they are not. I am understanding how frustrating it can be. But, I am working to clarify my feelings and separate their past hurts from our present situation. It’s wonderful when you understand that your interactions with other people are for the purpose of either healing yourself or healing them. It helps you to approach it with more compassion. 

  • Lutisha

    I am curious what you do when a person is in denial that they are even doing this. I presented this as a source to the individuals twice and they overlooked it and just continued to do what you call “living in a fantasy.” It is a bit creepy.