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Wherever You Go, There You Are!

Most of us have heard that lovely little saying, “Wherever you go, there you are”. I know personally when times are challenging in my life, I want to run away and hide or slip off to some deserted island and spend my days swimming with dolphins (which I have done, by the way). The times when I wanted to run, I thought going somewhere else would change how I felt. And although it did for a short period of time, I always seemed to come up against the same challenges I thought I was escaping by actually leaving. And there I was, just in a different place.

Running away from my issues is not the answer and I completely get that now. AND, I want to say that from experience, changing up your environment or something else in your life that is not working, can be hugely healing and opening. It can help take you to levels you may have never thought possible in your life.

I had been unhappy living in Los Angeles for a long time and every time I went to other places I seemed to feel more alive, but I pushed it under the rug thinking it was just because it was a short-term solution. But the few times I went to visit my friend in Santa Barbara this past year in the thick of my challenging health issues of adrenal exhaustion, which resulted in depression and not wanting to leave the house, I could feel a strong undercurrent pulling me. I loved the way I felt in S.B. and I knew there was something deeper inside than just wanting to escape Los Angeles and run away from the way I felt when I was there.

Being in a challenging relationship that ended about 8 months ago left me in a daze of despair (see my “Learning From The Dark…” article) and it brought up a lot for me to heal. When I came to Santa Barbara, that despair seemed to take a back seat. I am not saying that Santa Barbara is a magic pill, but what I am saying is that sometimes, as scary as change can be, it might be good to shake things up a bit and give ourselves a new perspective.

After 3 visits and some deeper inquiry things just fell into place for me to be able to make a move to S.B. and leave L.A. I wasn’t super intent on it at first, but that undercurrent that I mentioned earlier, knew better. It just all flowed and I took all of the signs as feedback from the Uni-verse that changing up my environment would help me to heal further and open up my world even more.

As scared as I was, I took the leap. I feared leaving L.A. and losing my business, and losing the name I had built for Karma Chow over the last 4 years, but I didn’t let that Fear (false evidence appearing real) run me as I often had in the past. I knew that this time I wouldn’t be running; that, yes, I would be stepping outside of my comfort zone which would result in me creating a new, more fulfilling way of life for myself. And I knew that I had to rely on my faith and trust in the Uni-verse to provide for me.

As someone who grew up in the suburbs of New Jersey I crave small town, community, friends stopping by, being in nature, and ease of life; L.A. just wasn’t the place for me anymore. And I knew in my heart that Santa Barbara could provide all of that for me. So I took that leap and I have only been here for less than a week, but I feel like I have come home. And the funny thing is, I often times find myself smiling from ear to ear for no reason. And truthfully, I haven’t smiled from ear to ear for no reason in a long time living in L.A. So I know that these smiles are my confirmation that I made the right choice for myself as scary as it was. I made a choice to grow, step outside my comforting little box and take a chance on a gentler way of life! And yes, wherever I did go, here I am and a much happier version of myself at that. I’m so glad I listened to that inkling inside and I so look forward to all the beauty that Santa Barbara has to offer me, and I to it!

So, where do you think a change in your life could bring healing or growth? Have you been afraid to do something for a long time that you know will fulfill you even more? What small step can you take TODAY in the direction of that change?

I hope you reach for the stars and take a risk for your own happiness!

With Love
Melissa

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Melissa is personal chef , wellness coach and nutrition educator. Check out her website here.

  • Daya2012

    Wow Melissa, you seem to be speaking straight to me right now. I live in a beautiful place in the middle of a big city and while I have everything anyone would want, its only when I am out near the sea that I feel alive and playful.
    I’ve been dreaming about relocating to a city in nature.  I feel worried that its because I want to escape dealing with the changes that are happening internally for me now.  I fear that planning to leave my city will fill me with false purpose, like so many other things did in the past (working on a relationship, moving flat, moving job…) once I arrive like you say, I am still there!  So I’ve decided to nurture both sides, explore through a vacation what it would mean to live in a nature filled city by the sea and continue my life here and my work here.  The universe will open doors for me.  I don’t want to have regrets.  Or just put in the time on a life where my heart is not in it.  Where we live makes such a difference.  I want to wake up and take my dog for a walk on the sea.

    • http://www.facebook.com/MissyKarmaChow Melissa Costello

       yes, yes, you can do it! I love that you are taking a positive step of action and exploring through a vacation!!! The universe meets us at the point of action…it will all unfold from there! Many blessings to you!

  • Nickyodunn

    I’m so happy you have found that inner peace. Being from New England makes me miss that small town, friends stopping over community. I can remember coming home over the years and people would stop by saying “I heard you were in town!”. I love that. No one does that in LA. That’s why I love Topanga. Makes me fell at home.

    • http://www.facebook.com/MissyKarmaChow Melissa Costello

       Thank you beauty!! yes, small town….love the feel! xo

  • Lemirern

    Love love love  definition of Fear . Copied and in large letters on desk.  THANK YOU

  • Hildy

    Nicely said Melissa ! I’m a Santa Barbara Local born and raised…I’ve tried to move away before, but I’ve never been successful,  it truly is a special place…welcome !  feel free to email me , would love to meet you…

  • http://twitter.com/joannagarzilli Joanna Garzilli

    Yes, yes, I love how you are following your intuition! I will come and visit you in Santa Barbara. I love it there! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/MissyKarmaChow Melissa Costello

       can’t wait for you to visit! xo

  • Ana

    Melissa, thank you very much for sharing this. You put my feelings in perspective. I have been afraid to move, even though I know my home is somewhere else… in a place having more cafes and pedestrian zones; where people truly enjoy life. Thank you. 

  • lizilynx

    I’m delighted that you have found your “home” and took hold of your life, facing straight into fear and listening to your intuition – Congratulations! My husband & I are planning a move closer to our son, who lives in L.A., and Santa Barbara has come up as a possibility. We’re thinking of some vacation time there to check it out. Thanks for giving us some additional background. Love to you, Melissa :o )

  • http://twitter.com/HeatherSchultz ♥Heather Schultz♥

    I live in LA and truth be told, it can definitely be a stressful town to live in! All that glitters definitely is not gold here. But I still love it and know it’s the place for me to be. Although I hear ya on Santa Barbara. It’s easy to fall in love with! I usually go up there ever couple months or so with a friend just do lunch at the Four Seasons and enjoy the day. It’s such a peaceful and beautiful area, so in some ways yes, I do think Santa Barbara is the magic pill haha ;) I usually come back to LA refreshed and rejuvenated after a day there.