Why Is This Happening To Me?

Have you ever found yourself asking this question?

Sometimes things happen, and they make sense.  You understand.

But then other times things happen that leave you scratching your head. They are incredibly challenging. You experience tremendous pain. You just don’t  understand, no matter how much you try.


A lover leaves you.

A loved one dies.

Your dream plan falls through.

Someone you love betrays you

You get fired from your job.

You get into an accident that leaves you injured.

You face a life threatening illness.

All of these difficult situations can leave you feeling confused, hurt or angry. We have all been there.

When you are in the midst of a situation itself, it can be excruciatingly painful.

But I want you to also remember that sometimes the real reason you are going through the experience often gets revealed later on and isn’t so apparent at first.

We often only see our experiences through a certain perspective . We only see part of the picture. Our view point is somewhat limited.

What can often seem like something terrible today could turn out to be something amazing tomorrow. However, we only see this once we have come through it.

It’s then we realize that it could not have been any different. Life needed to be the way it was. The situation although challenging forced you to grow, and become more of who you really are. The challenging situation was the necessary fire to give birth to the diamond you ultimately are. The challenging situation led you in a new direction, and opened up new opportunities and meeting new people that you otherwise would not have.

Often what you think something is actually isn’t and what you think isn’t, in reality, is. Don’t be so sure that you know why something is actually going on in your life at that moment.

Your biggest breakdowns can be your biggest breakthroughs. They can teach you the most about what is real, who you are, and what is truly important in your life. They can cause you to let go of everything that is inauthentic and serve as a wake up call. They can end up leading you to your soulmate, or your dream career. You just never know.

So when things happen that you don’t understand, develop a curiosity about it, rather than being too quick to make up a meaning that causes misery or keeps you disempowered.

Ask: What could possibly be seeking to happen?

The way you choose to view something determines the meaning you give it, and the meaning you give it determines your reality. Your perspective determines your how much power you experience at any given moment.

Choose a perspective that empowers you.


-Oprah lost her job as a newscaster and then that led to her doing her own talk show. The rest is history.

-Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with cancer but recovered and motivated himself back to win 7 consecutive Tour de France championships.

-Bethany Hamilton lost an arm but found her life’s calling to inspire to millions, as well as realizing her pro surfing dreams.

So when you are in the midst of a challenging situation:

-Take a deep breath and step back for a moment.

-Embrace the situation you find yourself in.

-Don’t be so quick to judge yourself or the situation.

-Ask yourself “What is my lesson here? What can I learn?”

-Stay open and curious as to what is seeking to happen.

-Move forward with faith and trust in The Uni-verse.

-Surrender. Let go of control.

Sometimes your greatest gifts come gift wrapped in a covering of crisis. You just need to take the wrapping off and look a little deeper.

The real gift will soon become apparent if YOU are open.

Love. Now


P.S I would love to here your about any experiences that you went through that might have been challenging at first but then turned out to be a blessing.

P.P.S Receive my new E BOOK for FREE at www.livingthemiraculouslife.com

To find out more about my amazing 11-day journey check out: www.boundlessblissbali.com

  • olivialala

    such a moving article, touched the topic I have been learning these days myself- surrendering and letting go, letting go. The video posted here was also very powerful, thanx for this!! xx

  • Pingback: Why Is This Happening To Me? | Todd's Point of View()

  • CLB

    Loved this and needed this message today! Many thanks! ~ CLB

  • Lauren Van Driel

    Thanks so much, Kute. I’m always amazed at finding exactly what I need every morning. The past year has been so difficult with so many serious life-changing events. I don’t even know how to comprehend how everything has happened all at once. It’s very difficult for me to not

    • Lauren Van Driel

      … (sorry, trouble with Disqus this morning) 🙂 … for me to not be impatient or to even blame the Uni-verse for all of the hardships. This posting gives me help to see that there is a greater purpose for me that is in play underneath the surface. Thanks again, Kute!

  • Radiant Heart

    Dear Kute,
    My little sister was raped and murdered 3 years ago this September.  At the time it happened, it was so shocking, so horrific, and so brutal that it made no sense at all.  She was our miracle baby and she was working towards great things in her life.  We were all devastated with grief but in time, beautiful things emerged.  New soul friendships were discovered, our family became closer, my issues with depression were over as my version of what was ‘sad’ was completely reframed, we all began to value life in a much richer way and countless other positives.  I feel fuller as a human being having been through this experience.  It still hurts but now I now that everything does happen for a reason, even the things that make no sense.


  • Aimeebeth7

    This post just eloquently reiterated what I have learned over the past 6 months. I have done more growing in the past year than I ever have, I am certain of that. My challenges that ended up being learning moments for me are still proving to be learning moments. I lost a friend and former boyfriend that I dated for 2 years. I had never lost anyone close to me before and he was the kind of person who loved life and lived it to the fullest. This was something that we all said, even when he was still here. You know how people try to say nice things after people pass on, but they weren’t necessarily true…this couldn’t have been more true. But he died very tragically in a car accident and I had talked to him the day before. He loved everybody. He didn’t care about material things. He could have had a dollar in the bank and would have been just as happy. Looking back on our relationship and friendship both before and after dating, he was trying to teach me something. I was a worrier and always have been. I got caught up in little things, daily. His passing couldn’t have been any more of a rude awakening for me. Not to mention, my current boyfriend’s dad passed away the following week. We were both shaken to our core. I was suddenly reminded how fragile and precious life is. I still miss him every day. I’m not to the point yet where I can think of him and not cry, but I know that’s okay and part of the process. But I also know that I learned more from this life experience than I ever would have otherwise. It’s crazy, and also very sad to think, that it takes losing someone like that to learn how to live. I know that I am not the first person to lose someone close to them, and I know that I will continue to lose people close to me as time goes on. But I struggled with understanding why God would take someone at such a young age, why would He rob them of the things in life he’ll never experience, why would He take someone who really did love life and appreciate it, unlike some of us…why did He spare me and take him instead? I know it’s because he had a lesson to teach. He was friends with an insane amount of people, from all over…having attended 2 colleges and lived in a few cities and played semi-pro football AND being a chick magnet (haha!), it was safe to say he knew a few people. I think God knew that by taking him from us, He could teach sooooooooooooo many people a lesson or 2. Something I’m not sure my own passing would have done…I don’t know that people at my funeral would have been quick to say that I loved life and lived it to the fullest every single day like we said about him. So this has turned out to be a short essay, so I’ll stop now. I hope this helps someone….writing this helped me if nothing else. Thank you for your post Kute!

  • Kim

    Well said and much-needed.  Thank you!

  • Dbotz

    AWESOME!!! This helped me soooooo much today! xx

  • Sherkirac

    Definitely shined light on what’s going on in my life right now. Kudos and Thanks for the help

  • Such beautiful stories…happy tears Kute

  • TA

    Thank you for the post! The story of the Korean singer was touching…

  • Ash

    Great post!!! Reminder of the truths I forget sometimes.

  • Touched

    WOW I am full of tears! I have had a rough life too and the hardest moments are those that define WHO I AM. Thank you !!!!

  • scared

    I dont like my job and Im bad at it. Im constantly facing set backs at work and Im not as good a my peers. I worked really hard to get my degree and my job. Most people would consider it to be a good and important job, and that is true. My father worked long hours to pay for me to go through private school. I thought a while ago that God encouraged me to continue, but I asked that if He wants me to then he has to stop all of these bad things from happening at work. They are still happening. I do believe that things happen for a reason and God turns all bad situations into good. I just need to know what to do.

  • Elle

    I am very grateful for stumbling upon your post. I’m currently going through a breakup with a relationship of 2+ years. It has been 3 months still the breakup, and I am still very hurt by it. I keep asking myself why this is happening, as it was not something I saw happening and I believed I truly had something real and special. I think it is important, like you said, to ask what lesson can be learned from this. I am trying my best to seek that answer. I hope that one day everything will come together as it should be.
    Thank you again 🙂

  • john

    I have been through a hell for the last three and half month and still im. It’s kindy hard to describe em with words. IT all started when my I broke up with my gf. I really love her I realized it after we broke up.I did my best to get her back but it didnt happen.I went to her job and almost begged her and showed her how much I love her but she said she doesnt wanna do it anymore.Anyways after that day I cannot concentrate on anything,I love her and hate her the same time. An d my life became so dull and no fun and no desire for anything. What should I do ?