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Why Saying Goodbye Invites More “Hellos!”

Drew ParalesDo you have a hard time saying goodbye… to anything? How about letting something or someone go, or letting go of a limiting belief that you have been holding on for years because your afraid of what will happen if you do? Has it ever occurred to you that you just might be resisting and blocking out the goodness you were meant to experience in your life? Read on!

Last week, a really good friend of mine Daniel had made the decision to further his career and make the move from San Diego to the San Francisco area.

It wouldn’t say it was bittersweet, but it was very sad to see him go. And he felt it too.

He has uprooted everything he has established here in his “hometown” and realizes most of all that he is leaving many close friends behind to nurture a new opportunity.

It is a big sacrifice for him.

In saying goodbye to him, I was thinking about all the fun plans we had going on in the future, and wondered if they were ever going to happen because he will now be almost 500 miles away. Bit of a bummer…

I thought about what I was going to say when I was going to say “best of luck” to him, and I decided that in order to not be sad, I truly had to celebrate his new opportunity and send him off with the best of wishes, making no promises.

I gave him a little token of our friendship in the form of a gemstone that signified luck, peace, strength, and healing.

I made sure that I gave him my best words, and I didn’t hold him to anything so that he could be free to soar in his new adventures in Northern California.

Daniel poured tears. And even though he was sad, I found myself torn between two emotions: The thought of missing him and the thought of the great potential he has to really be successful and find happiness!

The second is truly what I want for him!

It dawned on me that saying goodbye and allowing the Universe to guide him and ME into new paths and journeys, free us to discover new opportunity and growth.

By holding on to what we might not ever get to do, it keeps the goodness back. Away from flowing into both of our experiences.

There was amazing revelation and a sense of relief for me as well, which was great because I predicted a bit of a painful parting.

I gave my hugs of gratitude to him and as I walked away, I was smiling and oddly uplifted. It was mostly because I knew that Daniel, no matter where the Universe takes or has him do, he will grow.

And so will I!

This theory, in the midst of saying goodbye reminded me that saying goodbye doesn’t have to always be such a sad and gut-wrenching experience.

You have the ability to shift for perspective on a belief that you carry around. Imagine, having the full control and CHOICE to see things in new and different light!

Letting go of ANYTHING and saying goodbye, as we all know it from the movies, can be quite dramatic. It can tear your heart out and leave you paralyzed and empty.

But if we thought about how closed up we can be by STAYING in that pattern for such long periods of time by longing, waiting, aching, feeling desperation, pining away, it is just not productive and so very empty of Love.

What would happen if you were in middle of having to let something, anything, go: A person, an idea, an object, a fear and you feel yourself hanging on to damn tightly to them because of something you didn’t get or something you were lacking?

Imagine your arms wrapped around a tree fully. Your eyes, your body, your mind not open to the world. AT ALL. And, oh yeah,.. same goes for your heart.

Take your arms away, and come from a place of Love. FEEL how that even though there is a lingering sadness, that as you open up your energy, you begin to invite ALL NEW experiences.

As you allow freedom to that which you grip so tightly, it also enables ALL The goodness that you have been asking for to come in. It is like you are welcoming newness and MASSIVE more opportunity than with your arms kept closed.

Like what you ask? How about:

Some new friends. Some new journeys. Some new Hellos.

Room for abundance. Maybe even healing.

But you gotta try. You gotta allow yourself to let go. Have the strength to say “goodbye”, with Love and luck.

Letting go is important and not hanging on is a way to draw things back to you.

We cannot hoard others’ Love. Because your Love, and their Love, should be shared.

When letting go with Love and even sometimes celebration, it frees our energy and spirit to invite new levels and experiences/opportunity into our lives.

It eventually helps your spirit to soar, and to that of the one you are saying so long to…

Life is all about change and nothing stays as it was. It is OK to hurt and cry a little because it helps flush the sadness and pain out of you and invites healing and opportunity.

But don’t stay there. (I know I say this all the time! But we gotta release our limiting beliefs to experience TRUE abundance!)

One more thing to consider about my sharing of wisdom today, that you might be wondering about: Sometimes (not all the time) but sometimes the thing that you want can return. But in all new forms.

Maybe not in the same shape, size or even person. But staying closed up and hanging on to what you think is comfortable, AKA stagnating, does not invite or allow that energy to come flowing back and return to you.

What you hang on to has no chance to evolve or transform into happiness if you don’t allow the setting free and LIBERATION of that.

Be open to saying “hello” to all that you have been hoping and wishing for. The heart invites in what you allow it to. And that choice is yours. (Click to tweet)

Just because you say goodbye, it doesn’t mean you’ll never say “hello” again…

So what having you been putting off letting go of? Are you afraid to say goodbye for fear never having that opportunity again? Tell me what experiences have you had in saying goodbye to others how you felt in the process. Can you shift your perspective and invite a new perspective in? Let me know in the comments, you know I would LOVE to hear from you!

ALL my Love,

Drew

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Andrew “Drew” Parales is the Creator and Mentor/Coach of “i LOVE Liberation” specializing in Personal Growth and Fitness! He is also a vocational rehab educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, and the school site program events coordinator/trainer. Connect with Drew at: www.iLOVEliberation.com and on Facebook: iLOVELiberation and Twitter:@iLOVEliberation

  • Hanna

    I really needed this post today. I thank you so much for it. I have to say goodbye to my ex, which is really quite hard. It’s been a few months since we broke up, and naturally, in the beginning, it hurt a lot. Since the beginning of March, I found it easier, as I told myself I cannot make anybody come back to me, even if he doesn’t seem so sure of not wanting to be with me again. So, it became easier, I focused only on myself, made plans, but then, last week, something – and I don’t know what – made me fall back into this sadness, this not wanting to let go. I find it hard today, as well. But I’m trying to, as much as I would like him back. I need him to go his way, and me to go his way. Do you have any more tips on how to let somebody go, and stopping that hope that they will return?
    Again, thank you, thank you for posting this exactly when it was needed. Have a lovely day, all the best!

    • Hanna

      go *my way ;)

      • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

        I got ya!! ;) (I do this ALL the time.. ha ha!) xo
        Drew

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for reading Hanna! Sending you love! -TDL Team

      • Hanna

        Thank you. You guys are awesome! :)
        Lots of love, Hanna xo

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hello Hanna!
      Thank you SO Much for honest and open share today.. It really helps to get it all out there, (like here.. ;) and be honest with yourself and recognize the pain. Thats the first step.. You are on your way… :) Another tip is that as you being to accept that letting go is the only way to set everyone involved free, begin to understand that as you let go, your heart opens up. And when your heart opens up it allows more goodness in. Let it… be free to allow what is supposed to come into your life in, not just another relationship, but everything else in your life that you have been dreaming about. Its our grip that keeps tied to closely to our past and our open heart that allows more in. The pain will subside as you are open to healing and setting those free with Love and wanting more for them. Its a very self-less thing to do. You can stop the hoping that they will return when you focus on the the many other things you want to come in! Have something to look forward to!

      I am so happy that my article helped you today and you are SO welcome! You have yourself a lovely day too Hanna. Let me know how you do!
      Big Big Love, Drew xo

      • Hanna

        Thank you, Drew. I will try my best to do this. :)
        Lots of love! Hanna xo

  • Aurelio

    Hey, Drew… Thank you so much for this beautiful and timely post… I am healing from the end of a short but passionate affair in which both of us said to each other, “You are the love of my life”, but because of an incompatibility of values, the relationship could no longer continue…
    Your post inspired me to write a heart-felt email to her overflowing with gratitude and thanks for her coming into my life, lighting up my world, and letting me live in a dream for however short a time…
    I will truly always love her…
    Thanks again, Drew…
    LOve,
    Aurelio.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      AH!! Hello Aurelio my friend!
      It is good to hear from you again… I am sorry to hear about your short but amazing love affair. I am grateful that you know how much you both mean to each other on a certain level that you celebrate that Love. To be able to recognize that you were not quite the best match, and to release each other is sign of true strength, forgiveness and celebration..
      I am touched that my article has inspired you to express an overflow of gratitude for her, as this act in of itself will help to set free, and experience more dreams to come. You see it for what it truly is…. I am proud of you!
      You are so welcome friend! Never let go of the journey you are on. There are more experiences to be cherished coming your way….

      All my Love, Drew

      • Aurelio

        Thank you, my brother, for your beautiful response… I’m reading this at the end of my day at work which has been preoccupied with thoughts of my recently ended love affair… It is a fitting end to today’s emotions… Thank you, again…

        • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

          Anytime my friend,.. Anytime! Im glad the timing was just right for you… :)
          Love, Drew

  • http://www.facebook.com/niloocoaching Niloo @ Personal Growth and Re

    Wow, Drew! None of this information was “new” for me…it’s the same stuff I’ve been mulling over for months, even years now…and the stuff my own teacher/friend has been repeating to me…but hearing it all here again in this one article just felt like SUCH a sign and I’m SO grateful you shared it. Definitely bookmarking this one to reread and remind myself! :)

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hi Niloo!
      Timing is such a good thing, and Im happy that this was the time for the sign to mean something to you! Apply, and be an even greater example for us all! I bet you’ll be a master at it, and be able to share it out.. Thanks so much for reading AND for bookmarking! (I do that too!) ;)
      Much Love, Drew xo

  • Ashley Astells

    Wow, thank you so much for this. I have recently decided to move across the globe and it has been a dream I have held for years but always had limiting beliefs of why I couldn’t go. Some relating to people and saying goodbye and then it dawned on me that none of these thoughts were true and I let them go and set the ball in motion to move. This post resonated so strongly with me. Thank you again.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Thats AWESOME Ashley– To take the leap and go after your dreams! Way to go! MAN- those limiting beliefs, huh? ;) Im so happy the article resonated with you! Wishing Love and Luck on your trek across the globe. Stay in touch with us and let us know how you are what you experience! Youre awesome and youre so welcome!
      Lots of Love, Drew xoxo

  • Kevin

    This is another amazing article just at a time i needed it. I let go of my ‘one’ earlier this year, based on the belief that I had to let go so I could grow. To allow me to reconnect with myself and workout who I am, so that in the future I can be the person I want to be and act accordingly.

    I believe that the universe will bring us back together if it is meant to be – I still feel that it is. It was the hardest thing to let go, today I feel stronger and happier for it, even though it has been hard without her in my life, your comment “It can tear your heart out and leave you paralyzed and empty” summed it up. I know that if I had hung on neither of us would have grown or evolved (me especially).

    This week I was starting to doubt my actions but your article has helped me. I believe it will all work out for the best and that we will say hello again, but it will be stronger and better than before.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hello Kevin!
      Thank you so much for your candid share here today. I know this hurts, but like you said in the long run it would have stagnated your growth AND hers and we are here to grow. What you have done is an amazing act of selflessness and the fact you have something more to look forward to tells me that you are on the right track! You gotta be better for YOU before you are better for anyone else. I applaud your risk and your facing of the fear. Uni-verse is always on your side! Let me know how you do Kevin and Im happy that the timing was appropriate for you today!
      Big Big Love, Drew

  • Monica

    This post is confirmation of what I have been going through this year. Perfect! My word for 2014 is “change” and a lot of releasing/letting go and mourning has been taking place. It has been hard, but well worth it.

    Thanks for giving me a new perspective in being open and even letting go of what I want most, making way for it or something greater to come to fruition. Love this post!

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hello Monica!
      I agree that “change” has been a tremendous buzz word for many that are in transition and those who have been walking their path! I am happy that a new perspective was able to help you open up and let go of what doesnt serve you and let in what will. It usually is something greater! :) Thank you SO Much for reading! Have a great weekend!
      Lots of Love, Drew xoxo

  • Talya Price

    This was a very good read. I have been saying goodbyes lately. I have been ready to move on from this boring life I have been living for almost 3 years. I have been very frustrated and alone. I am filled with so much ambition and desire, but I feel so blocked in this city. I feel that it is killing me and I am trying to do everything to unblock myself. I have been letting go of so many things in my life. I feel like I am going crazy. Changing yourself is never easy.

    • http://www.iLOVEliberation.com/ Drew Parales

      Hey Talya,
      Yes- letting go and saying with a healthy perspective is a great way to start and bring more energy into you life. I have felt the very same way you are feeling now, so what do you think can be the next step to get you out of your rut and invite more exciting things into your life? :) Change and of scenery? Moving? Exploring career growth or change? Finding resources that will help uncover those ambitions and desires? What do you think?
      And no– you are not going crazy! Its just a feeling of stagnation and the Uni-verse poking you to take some actions steps! Let me know how you do!
      All my Love, Drew xo

  • Deanna Lang

    Drew, this is so wonderful. I have printed this part and put it in my wallet so I can look at it when I need to: “…how closed up we can be by STAYING in that pattern for such long periods
    of time by longing, waiting, aching, feeling desperation, pining away,
    it is just not productive and so very empty of Love.” So true. Thank you.