I came across an article the other day online about celebrities and aging. The “journalist” was JUDGING each of the celebrity’s worth and beauty by the critic’s own standards. It got me thinking about how much we pay attention to those kinds of criticisms and how it makes you and me feel like we are less than the perfect picture that we think people want to see.
For YEARS, I was so hard on myself and the way I looked. I really disliked and hated the way I looked. And worse, I hated the way I felt about myself. Even to this day, I have remnants of old thoughts and habits that I would say to myself about how I looked, all because of some stupid thing some ridiculous classmate of mine said in the 2nd grade. THE SECOND GRADE!
I remember her saying to me, “Ewww! You look so gross. Your skin looks like it’s dirty, and no wonder no one likes you!” OK, what was a 2nd grader supposed to do with that? This hurt me terribly, and this kind of nonsense continued into my adult years and it didn’t get any better when I was overweight. I’m better now, yet every now and then I still have to re-correct my thinking.
So when I see articles like the one that was bashing beauties like Melanie Griffith, Nicole Kidman, Madonna, and Faye Dunaway, I was inspired to say something about this kind of societal mind trap.
Who are critics to judge our age and looks? What gives them reason to tell what our tipping point is, when we should be put out to pasture because was have aged, are overweight, have scars, have uneven skin tone, gray hair, sagging skin or wrinkles? They are not the ones who should have judgment over what the “perfect person” should look like.
Paying attention to these kinds of harsh judgment calls, and taking them on, and thinking YOU have to measure up to the call of these standards is very dangerous. Because we look up to celebrities and want to be just like them and embody their beauty and stature, we try everything we can to look and act just like them in hopes of acceptance. When critics and society harpoon celebrities and make this a standard for us to measure up to, it makes it difficult to achieve and instills a level of fear.
NO ONE is allowed to tell you what you should look like and how you should feel about the way you look. We start to get poorer self-images of ourselves and begin to wish that we looked better. All for what? For this: To be accepted. To be loved. To belong…
Striving SO HARD to look and act perfect according to “society” is a trap. We should believe and embrace our whole selves, our looks. Maybe, just maybe, we could stop wasting so much time and energy being the perfect “whatever” just to be validated and needed so badly. Think about this: When you are around someone who just has “it,” don’t they just radiate? What do they act like? How do they project themselves? Does it even begin to matter what they look like?
When you truly Love ALL of you, your age, your looks, your weight, your skin color, your body and its shape, you worry less about making yourself into something that you are not. You stop worrying about how you are not enough. I know you are reading this and thinking this is easier said than done, and you’ve read all this before. Right? Yet you seem to keep reading these wisdoms, but still feel bothered or ruffled by the way you feel about yourself. Ask yourself, what steps have you made to actually feel better?
For me, I awake every morning and do “mirror work.” I actually say “I love you,” “I am beautiful,” “I am worthy,” and “I am successful” with a smile. That is only the beginning, but it is a great start! Try it! No one else is around. You will slowly begin to rewire the old thoughts in your head that say the opposite. The things that bring you down and have you actually believing the negative BS you think. As with any exercise, STAY CONSISTENT. I STILL do this…
As you worry less about what others say about how we should look and accept yourself as wholly as you can, you get to dedicate more time working on the improvements YOU want to make in your life and worry less about the “critical standard.” You make room and improvements as YOU see fit. You are not at the whim of media/society/culture’s opinion and the opinion of those who have cut you down.
As we move into our self-acceptance, our bodies and minds comply with the way we think and it all becomes a perfect path for magical things to happen to us! Our desires and the way we feel about ourselves are matched and perfectly aligned for those magical wishes and dreams to come true as we take action each day to do so.
The self-hatred begins to fade, and in comes a beauty in yourself that you never thought possible. You RADIATE! You shine. Your vibration becomes a magnet for all things desired! You’ll be getting the attention, without even trying and hey, some you didn’t even expect.
The only people we should be measuring ourselves up to IS ourselves. Like making plans, achieving goals, and executing them. We should let ourselves be the judge of when it’s time to take a new and improved lifestyle plan to lose weight, start exercising, to take a yoga class and meditate to feel better. We should get to fill up OUR own cups, and not wait for someone else to tell us how full it should be and what we should fill our cups with. We set the gauge for ALL that goodness to be ours and what is left over, the overflow (and there WILL be plenty, trust me!) will be for everyone else.
When you dedicate your approval to “YOU,” you make more time for your needs, therefore making strides for improvement in your life, measured by YOU! You’ll get your needs met by YOUR standards and not anyone else’s!
What part of your life have you left to be measured by society? If you haven’t already, can you stop paying attention to critics that say what true beauty is? How can you set YOUR OWN standard for yourself today? Did you know that YOU are beautiful? *GRIN* Let me know in comments…
All my Love,
Andrew “Drew” Parales is a vocational rehab educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. He is also the creator and personal growth mentor of “i LOVE Liberation” Connect with Drew at: