I find that we sometimes bring up old patterns of sadness surrounding a major or traumatic loss of some kind. We even start to dwell on places that we visited SO LONG AGO, where we were with people we loved or places that we went to and even more weird, places that we COULD HAVE gone to, because we loved so them so much and wanted so badly to recapture what we once had. We have THAT FEELING of what we had. That makes me think about why we MISS so much that “old” connection when we should be inviting NEW connections and new patterns in. I admit that I personally have not yet released my sadness FULLY. I have old patterns of the way I used to Love and I’m starting to invite in and apply the NEW ways I’ve learned how to Love. I believe that I haven’t yet FULLY made peace with that old part of me, and maybe it’s time that I do!
It really struck me today when I was driving by the an old restaurant where I spent some real happy times as a kid. There were memories that I experienced with my parents, then with my friends, and later with former Love interests. I began to miss all them so badly that I even teared up a bit. It struck me as strange that I was focusing on something like events that happened a really long time ago, and it was something I have no power to change. It began to sink in that maybe, it was supposed to happen this way. This feeling was tugging at me and I began to think that I wasn’t missing the actual people. I FINALLY realized what I was doing! I was hoping for that OLD feeling of Love to come back because it was the only way I knew. You see, that’s what I thought Love was. A sort of “missing.” A desperation. A feeling of “void.” Wait, THAT’S NOT LOVE. That’s the opposite. It’s a type of sadness that exists only in the movies! *oh the drama*
We all want to be better, do better, become improved versions of ourselves. But how are we supposed to when we don’t realize that we keep sadness around too long? Because of this, I wasn’t letting the new parts of me flourish and grow because I was trying RECAPTURE what was already gone and that is not how life is supposed to be. NOTHING is permanent, and everything changes and grows. So does our energy, spirit, and Love. I must Love in new ways because of how much Self-Love I am now learning to have for myself. Just that ITSELF will bring new Love, beautiful experiences, and opportunity into my life. I’m blessed that the evidence is already showing itself professionally and creatively! I need to FULLY embody this new energy that I am and continue to APPLY new knowledge and not just read about it or think about it. Doesn’t that make sense? THAT will bring to me SO MUCH LOVE instead of sadness into all areas of my life!
Here are a few quotes/mantras that I use that could help to release your old patterns:
“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is EXACTLY what you will EXPERIENCE in your life!..” — Tony Robbins
“Be the change that you want to see…” – Mahatma Gandhi
“I know for sure that what you dwell on is who we become…” – Oprah Winfrey
If we are new students of personal growth, isn’t it up to us to be the example and turn up our volume in our lives and be the change we want to see? We need to become the change that we have been working on so hard for the expansions of our lives. Once we actually apply our teachings, it’s like a breakthrough happens! WOW! What a concept, and one that I want to keep sharing with all of you. Why wouldn’t we become all this change that we have been working so hard at? When we become the better and improved versions of ourselves, it will help us to release the old parts of us AND the old parts of our lives that caused us pain, hurt, and sadness. So that we can experience the abundance we have been wishing for and working so hard at. I don’t know about you, but I would love to be the example. I want to be a role model and supporter for those who are experiencing the same thing I was, so that everyone I come in contact with like my students and mentoring clients are inspired to learn to have fulfillment, too… But most of all I want to release these old patterns of sadness, as they do NOTHING but keep me away from the true happiness that I am meant to experience and share. But I have GOT to keep embracing my change, embrace the teachings, and knowledge that I learned!
As we all do, we get to create NEW patterns. We’ll have new “go to” behaviors and emotions that help us grow, work toward, and look forward to the abundance and opportunity we are now worthy of having. From here, I get to teach others that they can let go, too, and prove it doesn’t have to hurt for too long because there is SO MUCH waiting for us, just on the other side of the anchors that once held us down!
The lesson here is that we have got to reach even further at every turn. Continue to stretch for the opportunities. Consistently work at installing the knowledge into our hearts at every turn we get! We all have pain. We’ve heard this before. But it is up to us how long we stay in that pain. And it certainly doesn’t go away by going into large states of denial of our heartaches. That pain stays with us in our bodies and comes out as physical pain and behavioral patterns. It is up to YOU to apply what you have just been staring at (the new knowledge) and begin to interweave it into your life. Try something new! Keep reaching, because happiness doesn’t always get dropped into your lap. It will only appear once you drop the routines of victimization, desperation, and sadness that you once believed was Love, and all that you THOUGHT you deserved.
Let me point out, that the bottom line here is that there is difference between being nostalgic and sadness/pain. The first conjures up fond memories. The second can be detrimental depending upon how long YOU CHOOSE to hang on to the pain, and have it define your life. Let’s learn to know the difference by always wanting to grow from our experiences and not be damaged by them!
Today, how can you apply the new knowledge that has been entertaining you? Do you know the difference between nostalgia and hanging on to sadness? How can you BE the change today that you want to see? What will you focus and dwell on to greatly become and release what once was? Make a comment below and let’s discuss!
With great Love and new patterns,
Andrew “Drew” Parales is a Vocational Rehab Educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, a school site program & events coordinator/trainer. He is also the Creator and Personal Growth Mentor of “i LOVE Liberation” Connect with Drew at: