You Are The Love You Are Looking For!

“What you are looking for, is what is looking” -St. Francis of Assisi

AlysssaNobriga Portrait 112412Let’s try something for a moment – bring into your awareness the person you have felt the most loved and cared by… really allow yourself to feel that for a moment. Notice that even though they aren’t here, you can still feel this love. That’s because it is contained within you…It IS you…it’s not separate.

The greatest realization I have ever discovered is that you never get the love you truly yearn for from your partner. They may evoke a sense of love within you, but that evoking happens within YOU.  They never gave it to you. It was there prior to them and it is here when they are not present.  It has nothing to do with “them”; it is simply a projection of yourSelf.

Thoughts like, “I want them to love me” keep you from the awareness of the love that is here already – the love that you are.  So many of us get blinded by believing thoughts about who we think we are, and then we lose sight of our true essence. When these thoughts like, “I need more _____(love)______” are believed, we feel incomplete and then the mind starts searching for this completion in the world.

Some people search in relationships, others in food, money, drugs but regardless, they all boil down to the same misunderstanding – that who you are is not whole already.  This core misunderstanding creates our suffering (a sense of incompleteness) and then the mind believes its fulfillment is gained in life.

What I have noticed is that looking for this love to be filled by another will never be enough.  As soon as the search is outside of yourself, you move away from the awareness that love is what you are already.  Even if you were to “find love,” it could only be temporarily satisfying and wouldn’t deeply offer you what you yearn for if you are still moving from this core misunderstanding.

We often avoid being with this sense of incompleteness: fear of not being enough, and the search for it to be filled keeps us away from truly arriving where we are. This fear seems so much bigger than it is.  In reality it’s only a thought in the mind that tricks you into believing that you need love and results as dense energy in the body.

The ironic thing is if there is a willingness to stop and suspend the search for more, even if it’s just for a moment and truly be with what is, you can discover that even this sense of incompletion is an invitation calling us back home to ourselves.

You never needed anyone or thing to complete you. It was simply a misunderstanding, a misidentification. Who you are IS love – just as you are now…

We become blind to this realization when we believe the thoughts that keep us on a continuous search for more.

Nothing needs to change in order for you to realize this. That’s the thing about realization – it only happens NOW.  It is always a moment-to-moment invitation to discover for yourself what is true…to discover who you are beyond all the beliefs…

Notice that this love is within you…it is actually who and what you are.

There is only one…and you are it!

That is something to celebrate!

I welcome you home to your deepest Self, the source of True Love…



Alyssa Nobriga specializes in working with couples through a mind-body-soul approach.  She also leads yearly Wellness Retreats to Bali, supporting people in living more open, authentic, loving, and fulfilling lives. To watch Alyssa working with clients check out her website or to find out about specials see her Facebook page. For a limited time she is offering 50% off Couples Counseling in Santa Monica & 10% off July’s Retreat to Bali by mentioning Daily Love.


  • Kacie

    Lovely message! 🙂

    • Jamie Feldstein

      Yes Yes!! <3

      • Guest


  • Carie Bean

    Hello Alyssa! Hello beautiful soul. Everything about this message is simply wonderful. I really enjoyed reading it and believe it. No matter how many times someone says what we seek, we have/are it doesn’t really click until it clicks. So wonderful that you see it and are helping others know it too. Just as Dorothy clicked her way back home. The scarecrow asks glinda the good witch why she didn’t just tell Dorothy she had the ability to go home the whole time. She replies…..because she wouldn’t have believed me, she had to find out for herself.

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      And what a gift that we are the ones that get to discover it… moment to moment 😉 So glad it resonated for you…. With a full heart, Alyssa

  • Teresa

    I know it in my head and I have felt it but it leaves and it is my greatest driving force to tap into the love I have within me and not have it go away… It is my driving force… I am meeting with my personal trainer for the soul this afternoon for this very purpose to specifically bring forth the love I have within myself since I feel a block. I am unsure why since I am fully aware, know and believe I am love, deserving of love, already loved by the Uni-verse… I know I am enough just as I am so I am a little frustrated that I ache in my heart … I am exuding the love I want. I ask myself what I would want from a partner so I give whatever that may be, at the moment, to myself… I want to meet my spriritual partner. I am trying to have faith in the Uni-verse that it knows what’s best for me and if something I’d like to happen, doesn’t happen, it is because something is better for me… We will see… I felt fear when I turned it over to the Universe realizing that I had to trust in something unknown that I thought was known… I’m a work in progress:-) I am being gentle with myself… Thank you for this article… I am on the precipice of something great!!!

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      I honor you for your willingness to show up for yourself completely. You are not a work in progress, there may be a process but it has nothin to do with who you are- as you already know and shared who you are is love just as you are now. In my experience there are deeper ways of knowing this, 1st in the head, then the heart and then really loving it from a gut knowing. I love how you are being gentle with yourself and compassionate with your humanity. My suggestion is to also embrace the ache in your heart, with unconditional love and discover even deeper the love that is always here. When everything is allowed to be as it is, his can be experienced more fully. Blessings to you on your journey…Alyssa

  • Jemma

    Thanks Alyssa, great words that I really need to hear at the moment and that really touched in for me. I had a bit of an “Ah ha” moment there 🙂

    • Alyssa Nobriga

      I’m so glad 🙂

  • Camille

    I understand this in concept, but still can’t seem to understand it as it applies to me. When everyone around you is in happy relationships or have no problems dating, yet you’re perpetually single, scaring guys away, and having people tell you what you need to change about yourself (my shyness), it’s really hard not to feel like a big, deficient loser. 🙁

  • Anna Karen Hernandez

    Alyssa! Wow!Thank you so much for wrting this for us to remind us that the Greatest Power of Love lies within us, I think when we really connect to this place we attract loving circumstances and people towards ourselves. I am in this process, walking by myself and discovering endless Self Love! Thanks!

  • Sabrina

    Thank you for this post. It resonates strongly with me. I understand that we constantly try to find things to “fill” the imaginary holes in ourselves – thinking that we are not whole already. I am wondering how this plays into self-development, and goal setting. If we are to completely accept and love everything about us as we are now, does that mean we should not want to grow and improve ourselves? I’m a little confused and would love to know your thoughts!