“What you are looking for, is what is looking” -St. Francis of Assisi
Let’s try something for a moment – bring into your awareness the person you have felt the most loved and cared by… really allow yourself to feel that for a moment. Notice that even though they aren’t here, you can still feel this love. That’s because it is contained within you…It IS you…it’s not separate.
The greatest realization I have ever discovered is that you never get the love you truly yearn for from your partner. They may evoke a sense of love within you, but that evoking happens within YOU. They never gave it to you. It was there prior to them and it is here when they are not present. It has nothing to do with “them”; it is simply a projection of yourSelf.
Thoughts like, “I want them to love me” keep you from the awareness of the love that is here already – the love that you are. So many of us get blinded by believing thoughts about who we think we are, and then we lose sight of our true essence. When these thoughts like, “I need more _____(love)______” are believed, we feel incomplete and then the mind starts searching for this completion in the world.
Some people search in relationships, others in food, money, drugs but regardless, they all boil down to the same misunderstanding – that who you are is not whole already. This core misunderstanding creates our suffering (a sense of incompleteness) and then the mind believes its fulfillment is gained in life.
What I have noticed is that looking for this love to be filled by another will never be enough. As soon as the search is outside of yourself, you move away from the awareness that love is what you are already. Even if you were to “find love,” it could only be temporarily satisfying and wouldn’t deeply offer you what you yearn for if you are still moving from this core misunderstanding.
We often avoid being with this sense of incompleteness: fear of not being enough, and the search for it to be filled keeps us away from truly arriving where we are. This fear seems so much bigger than it is. In reality it’s only a thought in the mind that tricks you into believing that you need love and results as dense energy in the body.
The ironic thing is if there is a willingness to stop and suspend the search for more, even if it’s just for a moment and truly be with what is, you can discover that even this sense of incompletion is an invitation calling us back home to ourselves.
You never needed anyone or thing to complete you. It was simply a misunderstanding, a misidentification. Who you are IS love - just as you are now…
We become blind to this realization when we believe the thoughts that keep us on a continuous search for more.
Nothing needs to change in order for you to realize this. That’s the thing about realization – it only happens NOW. It is always a moment-to-moment invitation to discover for yourself what is true…to discover who you are beyond all the beliefs…
Notice that this love is within you…it is actually who and what you are.
There is only one…and you are it!
That is something to celebrate!
I welcome you home to your deepest Self, the source of True Love…
Alyssa Nobriga specializes in working with couples through a mind-body-soul approach. She also leads yearly Wellness Retreats to Bali, supporting people in living more open, authentic, loving, and fulfilling lives. To watch Alyssa working with clients check out her website or to find out about specials see her Facebook page. For a limited time she is offering 50% off Couples Counseling in Santa Monica & 10% off July’s Retreat to Bali by mentioning Daily Love.