Ever wonder where your beliefs come from? Even wonder why you behave the way you do? Do you ever get to the point where you have recognized that you YOURSELF realize that you do something that is SO not good for you, but you keep doing it anyway? Do you think that you can’t help the way you act or what you see in your reality? Well, read on, I think I can help answer these questions!
Before I really understood what I really wanted to do with my life and start a journey of really discovering myself and what my passions where, I used to think that I just had to deal with what life dealt me.
I used to think all the time that I had no control over what happened to me, what choices I had, even the way that I used to THINK and talk.
I used to think that, “This is the way that I am, I better just deal with it.” Or “Nothing better can happen for me, I’m pretty pathetic.” Pretty sad and victim based, huh?
Other thoughts in my head were, “Everyone is out to get me,” “There are some really stressful experiences out there,” “Heartache is inevitable, I better be prepared”, “I am weak”, and a real bad one, “Bad stuff just happens to me.”
I won’t even get into the sh***y stuff about me not being deserving of anything good. I have whined about that enough!
But those thoughts I had become what I talked about. Whenever I would experience “a not so happy time”, I would IMMEDIATELY get lost in those thoughts, and talk about them endlessly.
It was bad. All those thoughts listed above you see? I would actually verbalize to myself and to any one that would listen. Seriously.
My friends would listen lovingly, support my theories, and affirm the verbal diarrhea that would be spewing. And for a time, a short time, it would feel REALLY good.
It felt really good to have people agree with and support the garbage and the gossip that would come from my mouth. So much so, that the energy would rise to levels where everyone in my circle including myself would start to BELIEVE what I was saying.
And it would come true. Even if you were eavesdropping on my conversations as an outsider, even YOU would feel what I was saying was just speculation. But no, not me. The belief came SO HARDWIRED into my brain that what I thought, what spoke about, started to show up in my life.
Pretty much EVERYTHING.
I would suffer through heartache, disappointment, having no vision for the future being stuck in work that was unfulfilling, tolerating friendships and relationships that were abusive, I would gain weight, I would have cars stolen, be offered NO opportunities in life to expand, and worst of all, settle for less in life like heading for a rut.
Which is what happened…
How could this happen? How could I be spending my days so hypnotized by a dull and unexciting life? Why would I be crying my eyes out on the floor of my hallway begging for healing? Why did I suffer through three, YES THREE, stolen cars and what seemed like unending heartache?
As you know, I couldn’t take this anymore, and I think I just got to a surrender point in my life where the pain of living this way was worse than the pain of taking charge and changing my life.
So what did I do? Well, I made a decision to first of all to grow a “pair”, and get off my fat ass. I made it to the gym, changed my diet, and TALKED (positively) ALL THE TIME about how determined I was to never allow myself to look and feel that way again.
I started to believe! So the weight came off, and I got super healthy!
As the years passed, I began to question what my dreams were and what my passions were. I began to question WHY I tolerated the things in life that I did. I talked to people about how I wanted to change my life and liberate myself of the low-self worth I had.
I started to believe! And what happened was that I finally stood up for myself, BELIEVED I AM worth more than how I was being treated, and the situations and people that no longer served my purpose fell away. I felt free…
In more time, as I began to be surrounded by THE MOST amazing people I could ever ask for in my circle, I questioned what more could I do? I talked out loud about how much change I wanted CONSTANTLY. I began to believe this, and my friends and I found ways I could make this change!
I soon hired a life coach and personal growth mentor, a decision that REALLY changed my life! But before I did, a few friends talked to me. Sarah said, “YOU are worth the investment!” Kim said, “YES! You have to do this… I BELIEVE in you!”
Well, the rest is now written as my beautiful history! I started writing, became a regular contributor here on the amazing Daily Love, went on a cleanse, lost 14 lbs, began running marathons, learned to be brave enough to promote my writings and my blog, became a personal growth mentor, launched my very first live group event teaching the Five Tibetans Rites, breathing, and meditations; all the things I learned, I now share.
Though never perfect, I feel the happiest I have ever been in my life! And I have never felt younger. (I’m trying to stave off the mid-life crisis! lol) And I feel like have only just started to discover treasures, and I’m excited to see what comes next!
I need not go on as I think you get my point. Right?
No matter what is going on in your life, you must start to believe that you have all the control in it as to how you act, behave, talk, and think.
True, you cannot control what others do or do to you. But it is up to you how long you decide to let those life experiences shape your reality.
You can begin to shape those realities by what you say, what you think, how you act. Your talk becomes your beliefs, and your beliefs become your reality! (Tweet-worthy!)
If you keep saying to yourself, “I am a fool!” again and again, there is a great chance that your brain will begin to take that in, and you will start to believe it!
If you keep reaffirming to your friends about how unfair life is and the gossip you spew and cut others down to make yourself feel better (temporarily I might add), in effort to help you feel better your friends will start agree with you, THAT becomes your belief.
There are literally MILLIONS of BS stories that we keep reaffirming with our talk and thoughts that I cannot even get into, but you know the ones you keep saying to yourself.
If you want to see just how this works, start by taking a moment to Love yourself a little bit more right now and give yourself a break. Nothing in this world that happens has anything to do you with you, and you need to ask yourself why you personalize everything so much.
Even though it will be strange at first, begin to talk and say OUT LOUD what you want to start seeing in your life. Think about how that will FEEL. Over time, your brain begins to connect the dots, so to speak, and help you believe what you are thinking and saying.
Look, it took YEARS and even possibly since your childhood to believe the things that you do NOW about yourself. But somewhere, somehow in your life, you took on a belief because of what someone said or did.
It will not happen overnight and you need not wait to hit a rock bottom (PLEASE don’t wait for that!) to help you understand how much power you have over your life and what you get to experience.
As you begin to BELIEVE what you talk about and think about, these things will begin to show up in your reality! From the littlest things to the greatest opportunities you could ever imagine. Even some surprises!
It takes time and effort, for sure! I will agree with you wholeheartedly there. But like my friends said to me, that I will now pass on you, “You are WORTH the investment” and “I BELIEVE– in YOU!”
So what are some of the horrible little things that you say to yourself? What new things can you say and think about that will help you to believe more in a Loving new reality? Let me know in comments below!
All my Love,
Andrew “Drew” Parales is the Creator and Mentor/Coach of “i LOVE Liberation” specializing in Personal Growth and Fitness! He is also a vocational rehab educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, and the school site program events coordinator/trainer. Connect with Drew at: www.iLOVEliberation.com and on Facebook: iLOVELiberation and Twitter:@iLOVEliberation